www.incontinentsupport.org

Can I answer your question in the form of a riddle?

This thing all things devours: Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruin town, and beats mountain down.

If you're a Tolkien fan, this will be easy.

Add me to the welcome wagon. I too would say its better to go with too much protection than too little. Tape on, and thick, are pretty much a requirement for overnight disposables (though cloth may be worth looking into in the long run). You're also going to come across some brands that really are meant to look babyish. Don't discount them though, some of them are really good performing diapers and are still worth trying just from a functionality standpoint. Like the others have said, just wear some boxers or shorts over the diaper if you're worried about not being seen many enough in them.

I'd recommend that instead of buying a whole bunch of any one diaper though, that you consider getting samples or small orders instead. This will help you to find what's right for you, and what works best, before you're stuck with a bunch of something that's prone to leaking.

I also recommend you get a bed pad as well. Those leaks are going to happen until you find the right diaper. The pad will protect your bed when (not if) that happens.

Lastly, you've already realized that trying to ignore your problems has only made it worse, and that despair over it hasn't been good for either you or your wife. It's time to face it head on, accept you're in this situation, and absolutely follow up on it with a urologist.

Welcome to the group. Not much else to say that hasn't already been said. I too do not like discussing it with my wife, but she is supportive of my condition as she understands it is a medical issue.

Okay, so just a little update. Been in diapers for 3 nights now - it really took a bit of nerve to wear the first night in front of my wife. I have been wearing under a pair of pyjamas pants, just to be a little discreet about it but still i feel a little ashamed about having a diaper butt. Anyways it took a bit of getting used to the bulk between my legs, but eventually i managed to fall asleep. My wife has been amazing about the whole thing and still wants to snuggle up in the bed.
The last couple of nights have been the best sleep I have had for years! Yes I wake up with a soaked diaper, but the alternative to wake up in a soaked bed is just so much worth it. I guess the acceptance of my condition is slowly coming.
Last night I even dared to put the diaper on after my shower and walk around the house (with pyjamas pants) for half an hour before going to bed.

Today I have my second doctors apointment and I have filled out a schedule of how much i drink and pee during a normal day. I’m a little worried to see that I used the restroom 16 times + a night wetting. Also compared to what i drink (1800 ml.) i peed about 800 ml. more (2600 ml.), which i don’t really get how that is possible. I think that my doctor will arrange for a urologist, but as the healthcare system is here i Denmark I will propably have to wait a couple of months for the apointment

Hi zawn

I am in my 30's too and wear 24/7 now. I just wanted to say well done you are doing so great you have taken such a big step yes it takes time to accept diapers and the padding between the legs however more you wear the easer it will become. Having a wife who is on side and so supportive is a true blessing and will help. I wish you all the best with the medical appointment.

The primer has lots of great advice too http://www.incontinentsupport.org/primer_index.php the one about hygiene is fantastic.

Take care and don't feel embarrassed or ashamed, if others have any issues with your incontinence shame on them. Go forth in the knowledge that you are not alone with the feelings and emotions you are going through.

Greenbank

Hi Zawn

Glad your choice of diapers is working and you are able to get a good nights rest. Never feel ashamed about needing diapers.

Hope your Doctor visit goes well and they can get you into see an urologust quickly but the fact it takes a couple of months to get an appontment shows there are a lot of other people dealing with bladder issues.


Rob

Zawn, your body goes through natural cycles of retaining and loosing excess water. It can be difficult or near impossible to predict when too, or may be triggered by our diet/environment.

This is one thing that comes as a curve ball to us all- for just overnight like you, or all day like me. We can go weeks without a single diaper leak, then days/nights more when the diaper might leak from being saturated in half the time they would normally last.

Eventually you get used to it though, and are able to tell when these cycles are happening. You also get used to hitting those curve balls too and can change before any leaks happen, or otherwise add extra boosters so the diaper will last (especially overnight).

Zwan, your story sound very very similar to mine. You're not alone. I'm not alone. I'm also new here so it's good for both of us to know!

Our patterns are quite similar. My bedwetting went from a lifetime baseline of 1-2 times a year to almost nightly. This happened gradually over the last 8-9 months but just went crazy off the rails in the last 2 months. My day time problem is mostly frequency and urgency with only a handful of minor leaks. I don't typically wear protection during the day unless I know I'm not going to be near a bathroom. Mostly just commuting and stuff.

Anyway, I tried Depend mens "real feel" underwear at first for bedwetting but it was like I wasn't even wearing anything. I looked at the really big pads but ended up just going straight to premium diapers. Being totally wrapped around you, they're going to give you much better side protection. I can tell you that waking up in a dry bed is worth it and the awkwardness of wearing a diaper to bed only lasts a handful of nights. Once the benefits show themselves, they massively outweigh the awkwardness and silly embarrassment of it all. I'm trying to find a new diaper now as I'm kind of between sizes and getting small leaks but even still, I'm waking up in a mostly dry bed with only small wet spot, and only sometimes. Before I started losing weight, the Abean L4s had me 100% dry. Putting a diaper on now is routine and neither my wife nor I feel especially odd about it. My wife and I are the only ones that know (besides anonymous interwebs people) and it's not that big of a deal.

In fact just the other night when feeling a little down about it and telling my wife I don't want to wear diapers she told me "hey there could be a lot things worse than this, it's really not that big of a deal, it's just a diaper. We both sleep in a dry bed and rest better, so who really cares?"....She's right. Who cares?

It's your journey and if you want to try big pads in fixing pants or inside compression shorts or whatever then give it a shot. I think that you'll probably end up settling on a diaper though and you'll come to realize that it's totally fine. Diapers aren't just for babies. There are dozens of brands of adult diapers for a reason, because MANY adults need diapers too.

Honestly, if I were you I would at least get some samples of actual diapers and just give them a try and compare against your pads. I think you'll see the benefits pretty quickly. I don't "like" sleeping in a diaper but the peace of mind it gives me is so worth it. I don't think I'd get a wink of sleep if I went to bed without one now as I'd be too worried I'd wet the bed. Maybe one day a medication will work or something will help who knows. But for now, wearing diapers has this problem under control (and with NO side effects I might add).

Thank you all.

Went to my doctors appointment today. He sent me on to a urologist, but told me to be patient as waiting time is up to 3 months. I talked to him about the use of diapers and we talked about that is a good way to deal with my incontinence issue. For now I will be supplying my own needs but my doctor told me that if the urologist agrees in diapers being the best solution, then healthcare in Denmark will cover the cost of the diapers.

For now the abri san pads have kept me dry, but i definitely see the point that a "real" diaper will keep me more protected. The problem with the pad is that it doesn't stay 100% fixed so if I have a big wetting some of it wil leak. Anyways we'll see how things work out..

3 months? wow. Socialist healthcare really is awesome lol.

yeah that moving around won't happen so much with a diaper. The abri san pad, from what I can tell is pretty much the same as their diaper just without the wings. Up to you, but a diaper will most likely get rid of your leaks. For me the whole point of wearing protection is to stop having to wash bedding daily or several times a week. So any leaking is quite undesirable. I'm sure you'll find what works best for you. Good luck.