Tue May 05, 2009 10:00 am
In my opinion, this topic depends on the individual, and the type and cause of incontinence. Like others here, my incontinence was caused by nerve damage (L4, L5, & S1). Most the time, I don't know I need to go until I've already started going. I don't live in the bathroom, and I don't worry about what I know is going to happen even if I make every possible effort to use the bathroom. I stay positive,.... and change the diaper about 4 times a day. Whatever happens in between those changes happens. Life moves on,.... and I'm not going to worry about being incontinent or woundering if I could have made it to the bathroom in time. When your already incontinent,....."Who cares if you use the diaper?"
Tue May 05, 2009 5:59 pm
I've tried just about everything when I travel including the old pee bottle which has some merit. However when I am meeting with a client I just can't drop everything and race to the closest bathroom so I depend on my diaper. Today I was travelling and planned on stopping at a rest area to use the facility but the rest stop was closed. I took the closest gravel road and stopped to relieve myself but it was too-late. Again I had to depend on my diaper or else I would have ended up with wet pants and a wet truck seat. I would not have been able to continue with my schedule as I would have needed to stop somewhere and change my pants (I carry a pair of casual slacks in my truck just in case). As it turned out I was able to continue with my schedule and was able to change the wet diaper at a truck stop a while later. I usually go through 2 to 4 diaper changes a day plus one for sleeping. This is on top of using a restroom about every chance I get whether or not I pee.
Thu May 21, 2009 3:28 pm
I will comment again on this subject when frist started using a diaper felt guilty wetting in the diaper but as time went on was more relaxed and on same subject will be going to a graduation this weekend so "will" for sure wear a diaper for ease of mind and security.
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:32 pm
It's been 8 years since my last post and sadly, my condition has not improved. After a minimal bowel resection due to severe diverticulitis. Post surgery complications left me with bowel and bladder urgency. I've been told these complications present in a minority of cases. Never the less, the issue is more than just an inconvenience. The problem has been making my life miserable for years. I hate using diapers but have found them to be the best management tool available.
Upon waking in the morning I feel a strong urgency for a bowel movement before I even get out of bed. It's impossible to make it to the bathroom, remove the diaper and use the toilette. Countless failed efforts have led me to simply use the diaper and proceeding with a manageable clean-up. I've been advised to use a fiber bulking agent to keep my system working smoothly. It works but the result is several large BM's that are not only discouraging but the ultimate embarrassment.
I have managed to cope with situation but have to admit that I've withdrawn from a more social existence. I work from home so have very limited contact with the public. It's not uncommon for me to be engaged in on-line communication while wearing a soiled diaper. This has become so discouraging. I manage to endure. Not much I can do about it.
I am thankful for being healthy otherwise. I know others are not so fortunate. It's just that being a diaper dependent adult is depressing. Few know what it's like to leave the house while wearing a diaper. The alternative is to painful to consider.
Just wondering what mental health exercises others use to maintain their sanity.
Upon waking in the morning I feel a strong urgency for a bowel movement before I even get out of bed. It's impossible to make it to the bathroom, remove the diaper and use the toilette. Countless failed efforts have led me to simply use the diaper and proceeding with a manageable clean-up. I've been advised to use a fiber bulking agent to keep my system working smoothly. It works but the result is several large BM's that are not only discouraging but the ultimate embarrassment.
I have managed to cope with situation but have to admit that I've withdrawn from a more social existence. I work from home so have very limited contact with the public. It's not uncommon for me to be engaged in on-line communication while wearing a soiled diaper. This has become so discouraging. I manage to endure. Not much I can do about it.
I am thankful for being healthy otherwise. I know others are not so fortunate. It's just that being a diaper dependent adult is depressing. Few know what it's like to leave the house while wearing a diaper. The alternative is to painful to consider.
Just wondering what mental health exercises others use to maintain their sanity.
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:37 pm
Hello Jack3295, welcome back, it has been a while if it's been 8 Years! 
Don't stay away for so long, we missed you here! Sorry to hear that your issues have not improved. It would be nice for improvement to be what we get instead of things staying the same of worsening, few improve, but it does happen for some. I only have bladder isses to contend with, and certainly sympathize with you in your difficulties. Have you tried a morming bowel care routine, to clean yourself out so that daytime episodes are lessened in frequency? I am guessing after so long fighting with this problem, you must have tried everything! Hope you get some answers and it becomes more manageable for you! 
Puffy
Don't stay away for so long, we missed you here! Sorry to hear that your issues have not improved. It would be nice for improvement to be what we get instead of things staying the same of worsening, few improve, but it does happen for some. I only have bladder isses to contend with, and certainly sympathize with you in your difficulties. Have you tried a morming bowel care routine, to clean yourself out so that daytime episodes are lessened in frequency? I am guessing after so long fighting with this problem, you must have tried everything! Hope you get some answers and it becomes more manageable for you! Puffy
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Fri Dec 06, 2013 7:43 am
It seems that so many equate using their diapers to being a DL or whatever. That is so wrong. When I first had to wear diapers (after prostate surgery) I accepted it with the belief than in a few months all would be better. When 3 months became 6 months and then a year I was ready to jump off a cliff. I had absolutely no control for two years. Then I got some feeling back, but the urges were not controllable. I have found now (10 years on) that disposable diapers can add to some control because they are tighter than cloth diapers. BUT once that pressure is released (ie getting it out to go) it releases before I am ready. With cloth diapers there is rarely any feeling and it just flows. I would never go anywhere without wearing diapers. And after this amount of time I "use" them freely. My brother has serious heart problems and one of his meds is Lacix (sp) a diuretic and he complains of having to get up 3-4 times a night to pee. He is unaware I have been in diapers for 10 years. I wear cloth at night and never (very rarely) have a problem. I realize now that at least one benefit of being incontinent is a good nights sleep.
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Fri Dec 06, 2013 7:59 pm
I find myself that I have more fluids when I am at home vs. work or out, and don't keep to a cut-off hour either, so night time is for sleeping and I let my thing do it's thing, it seems to have it's own mind at night now anyhow! lol I will gladly take the convienencce in plalce of the inconvienence, not everyone does, but that's up to them, Puffy
Puffy
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Sat Apr 12, 2014 8:57 pm
I guess, despite my sphincterotomy, I could live without diapers during the day; I would still need them at night. However, in order to function without protection I would need to use the toilet at least every hour, and more frequently after meals. That is often simply impossible. My family and social obligations make some form of protection necessary. Without protection I would be housebound, tethered to a toilet. My family would soon put an end to that.
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Mon May 26, 2014 5:27 am
Another question concerning diaper dependency and convenience from the more experienced people on board.
Once you have accepted you have to wear some sort of protection to stay dry, and maybe you sort of gave in and started using your diapers as they are intended on purpose some times, can such an approach lead to your incontinence becoming more severe?
i.e. bladder size scrinking further etc. once you started giving up holding back anymore, meaning your letting go in your diaper more and more.
I have urge incon / OAB and some times, getting cloth off, diaper down, means I usually have a hard time making it to the loo, and therefore resort to using my diaper...however I fear that that approach actually is making my incon more severe.
Once you have accepted you have to wear some sort of protection to stay dry, and maybe you sort of gave in and started using your diapers as they are intended on purpose some times, can such an approach lead to your incontinence becoming more severe?
i.e. bladder size scrinking further etc. once you started giving up holding back anymore, meaning your letting go in your diaper more and more.
I have urge incon / OAB and some times, getting cloth off, diaper down, means I usually have a hard time making it to the loo, and therefore resort to using my diaper...however I fear that that approach actually is making my incon more severe.
Re: diaper dependency and convenience
Mon May 26, 2014 11:21 am
NTAM,
I also wear a diaper because I have urge incontinence. My incontinence developed as an unexpected side effect of surgery when I was 14 years old. I'm 71 now. So I've been dealing with this issue for a long time.
When I first became incontinent, I was determined to do everything I possibly could to get over it. There were no drugs for urge incontinence in those days. So following my urologist's advice, I became fanatical about doing Kegel exercises at least 10 times a day. As a result, by the time I went away to university, I had gotten to the point where, provided I was able to use the bathroom every couple of hours, I could go without a diaper during the day. However, I still needed to wear a diaper if I didn't always have a nearby bathroom; and I still wet regularly at night.
Things went on that way until I was in my forties, when I gradually lost my ability to stay dry reliably during the day. As a result, I had to go back to wearing protection 24/7/365. At first, like you, I was very concerned about making my incontinence worse unless I always at least attempted to get to the bathroom whenever I felt the "urge." But over time, I have come to think that, if I have to wear a diaper, why bother about always trying to make it to the bathroom when it's inconvenient to get there.
I still urinate in the toilet when one is nearby and it's convenient to do so and in fact use the bathroom most of the time when I'm at home. But if I'm away from home and especially when I'm driving my car, I just use my diaper. Another way I look at is, if my incontinence is bad enough that I have to wear a diaper 24/7, how much worse could using a diaper when it's convenient to do so make my incontinence.
I also wear a diaper because I have urge incontinence. My incontinence developed as an unexpected side effect of surgery when I was 14 years old. I'm 71 now. So I've been dealing with this issue for a long time.
When I first became incontinent, I was determined to do everything I possibly could to get over it. There were no drugs for urge incontinence in those days. So following my urologist's advice, I became fanatical about doing Kegel exercises at least 10 times a day. As a result, by the time I went away to university, I had gotten to the point where, provided I was able to use the bathroom every couple of hours, I could go without a diaper during the day. However, I still needed to wear a diaper if I didn't always have a nearby bathroom; and I still wet regularly at night.
Things went on that way until I was in my forties, when I gradually lost my ability to stay dry reliably during the day. As a result, I had to go back to wearing protection 24/7/365. At first, like you, I was very concerned about making my incontinence worse unless I always at least attempted to get to the bathroom whenever I felt the "urge." But over time, I have come to think that, if I have to wear a diaper, why bother about always trying to make it to the bathroom when it's inconvenient to get there.
I still urinate in the toilet when one is nearby and it's convenient to do so and in fact use the bathroom most of the time when I'm at home. But if I'm away from home and especially when I'm driving my car, I just use my diaper. Another way I look at is, if my incontinence is bad enough that I have to wear a diaper 24/7, how much worse could using a diaper when it's convenient to do so make my incontinence.