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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:23 am 
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Location: MI
For those of you who don't know and didn't guess by reading my signature, I happen to be a devout Roman Catholic Christian. Part of our theology is that we believe that the saints in Heaven can pray for us and their prayers have special power because they are very close to God. It's known as the communion of saints. Thus, there are patron saints that people pray to (and by doing so, direct the prayer ultimately to God) for certain intentions. For example, St. Aloysius is the patron saint of seminarians and youth, because he was a Jesuit novice who died at a young age (and happens to be my Confirmation saint). So, praying to St Aloysius as a seminarian or praying for a seminarian through his intercession has been believed to be efficacious. Ok this is not a post about religion, but this background is necessary to understand my point of the post.

I am a member of several Catholic groups, and I have been having a resurgence of incontinence episodes in recent days. I thought perhaps prayer might help, and wondered if there was a patron saint for bladder problems. I asked this question on one of my Catholic groups and someone said St Incotinencia. They were joking. I did not find it funny. I was asking a serious question and someone was making a joke. the worst part is that 2 people reacted with the Haha emoticon. For that reason i removed the post. Thankfully someone answered with a legit saint.. (In case any fellow Catholic is wondering, the patron saint of bladder issues is St Vitalis of Assisi) Understand here, that I do have a sense of humor with incontinence..in fact I recently posted about dealing with my incontinence with a sense of humor. But, correct me if I am wrong, it is only appropriate to joke about it if the person themselves starts the joke and poking fun? Otherwise it goes from laughing with a person to laughing at them. It seems that incontinence is still the popular condition to joke about since it involves bodily functions. Were I a diabetic and were to ask who is the patron saint for diabetics.. no one would dare say St. Sugarless or some thing. So why is it that incontinence is still the butt of jokes?? Yes, we incontinent folk have a sense of humor about our condition, but laugh with us, not at us!

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"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 8:55 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:15 pm
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Location: Germany
:-)... Ok... I did'd guess that by reading the signature and THX for the introduction to Roman Catholics - I'd know that say have something with saints but did't know the deeper background - interesting. But anyway I wonder more about that in combination with your username - how can a sociology geek be in the same time a Roman Catholic? On the other hand this explains the question.

I think the answer is simple: The more embracing things are the more people tend to laugh about it. This is one of a couple of psychological coping mechanism people use. I would bet, that one who had laugh loudest had some how it's own experiences with it.

But I would like to shape the question in a different way: Why is incontinence more embracing then diabetics?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 9:19 am 
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michael_dahlke wrote:
:-)... Ok... I did'd guess that by reading the signature and THX for the introduction to Roman Catholics - I'd know that say have something with saints but did't know the deeper background - interesting. But anyway I wonder more about that in combination with your username - how can a sociology geek be in the same time a Roman Catholic? On the other hand this explains the question.

I think the answer is simple: The more embracing things are the more people tend to laugh about it. This is one of a couple of psychological coping mechanism people use. I would bet, that one who had laugh loudest had some how it's own experiences with it.

But I would like to shape the question in a different way: Why is incontinence more embracing then diabetics?

Are you asking how i can be a man of faith and also have a background in sociology? I hold a Bachelor's in Sociology. The two are not mutually exclusive. Just because a phenomenon like faith can be explained by a social science does not invalidate it, no more than a scientific explanation of how hormones work and how humans are sexually attracted to each other makes one not believe in the power of love, whether it be erotic or altruistic love.

I think what your'e asking is why is diabetes more embraced than incontinence, correct me please if I am wrong. By embraced do you mean accepted? I don't know. The ironic thing is diabetes often causes urinary urgency frequency and incontinence.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 9:57 am 
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sociologygeek wrote:
michael_dahlke wrote:
I think what your'e asking is why is diabetes more embraced than incontinence, correct me please if I am wrong. By embraced do you mean accepted? I don't know. The ironic thing is diabetes often causes urinary urgency frequency and incontinence.

Sorry maybe it's my English so my apologys for that. What I want to say is, that if it's come to talk about diseases people have more problems to talk about incontinence but about diabetes. So there must be a reason for this and I would guess this might have a lot to do with a social cultural background - maybe even with religion. Please don't get me wrong here - I just find it interesting to get a deeper understanding about the interrelation between disease and society.

And yes - I know Religion and Sociology are not mutually exclusive - but at last for me somehow uncommon. So I was wondering about the background behind it and the story.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:26 pm 
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I think Incontinence and jokes tend to fall into two maybe three categories,

one Bodily functions tend to always be part some joke mostly because it is usually embarrassing and every human on the planet has experienced it at some level and time even incontinence. these tend to be the juvenile jokes and we all have those moments these are usually innocent jokes but can be taken out of hand ...

And secondly one of defusing awkward moments when confronted in embarrassing moments one response is to "lighten the mood" these are also usually intended to be innocent but these are usually the times that bother people the most because the other party is being serious or in mental stress of the moment but the joker just does not know what the proper response may be to the situation or person.

And there may be a third group that I don't consider jokes, these may be the cruel taunts from immature brains, either these are coming from 5-year-olds or seriously ignoramus adults and this group are very rare in my experience but does happen. the best thing to try to ignore or if you are strong enough to confront them with the realities or suggest how would they feel if the roles were reversed. I have personally seen the light switch turn on when I confronted by a security guard who found "diapers" in my bag it suddenly was not funny to him anymore. (this takes a huge amount of courage and self-acceptance!)


while Laughter is the best medicine one needs to comfortable and accepting of themselves and body first to not feel discouraged when confronted by these jokes. and THAT AINT EASY.
Time and patience will get you to the point of it not bothering you and being able to ignore the slight jokes or at least not feel personally attacked by the jokes in the first category. one needs to be the better or more adult in the situation and this is hard when you feel you are the butt of the joke.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 12:00 pm 
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I really don't care that much, and personally I thinka that almost anything can be laughed at. But hmour is difficult and highly personal. I joke about incontinence myself with the few people who know about my issues, but usually incontinence jokes are not very funny. They are constructed all wrong. Rather than trying to find the absurdities of incontinence or the perceptions of the condition or the oddities sensitive and embarrassed "product marketing", they focus on the "peepee-caca-poopoo"-side of things. That is old and unimaginative and the easiest route to take.

I give an example: there is this sketch show in my home country that once featured a speed-dating sketch: a businessman sits at a cocktail lounge and his date comes in. The woman looks at the man ad says "your pants are... puffy" and the guy goes: "Yeah, I wear diapers 'cos they make mah busy life soooo much easier." And then he starts to exxplain to the shocked lady that "all great men and women in history have worn diapers to save time and be more effective" and then they march historical characters on the stage presumably wearing diapers.
That joke is not offensive. It is not a joke at all. It's just goddamn stupid and embarrassingly cringy writing. Even more cringy was hearing the audience howling with laughter. And that piece of excrement of a sketch went on for *SIX FULL MINUTES*. And why link diapers with "busy life". Try something new.

And the butt -"haha"- of the joke was that the guy's pants were puffy because he had a diaper on and he was busy and "went to the toilet" while talking to his date. Jeez. Disgusting.

What if they built the joke around the fact that both of them are wearing and worried that the other will notice. Then they try to hide it the best they can but at some point the truth surfaces. Give me something, professional writers! You could really try to say something while being funny at the same time: for example you could use your show that has a million viewers every saturday to dissect a taboo. To show that yes, perfectly "normal" people who have jobs and go on dates may be wearing diapers due to a myriad of reasons - and you could still build humour around that.

Come up with something better than just filling an actor's pants with cottonwool and having him go "I am a successful businessman and when I'm on the go and I gotta go I go." AARRGGHH.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 12:34 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:16 am
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Location: Ohio
Überaktive wrote:
I really don't care that much, and personally I thinka that almost anything can be laughed at. But hmour is difficult and highly personal. I joke about incontinence myself with the few people who know about my issues, but usually incontinence jokes are not very funny. They are constructed all wrong. Rather than trying to find the absurdities of incontinence or the perceptions of the condition or the oddities sensitive and embarrassed "product marketing", they focus on the "peepee-caca-poopoo"-side of things. That is old and unimaginative and the easiest route to take.

I give an example: there is this sketch show in my home country that once featured a speed-dating sketch: a businessman sits at a cocktail lounge and his date comes in. The woman looks at the man ad says "your pants are... puffy" and the guy goes: "Yeah, I wear diapers 'cos they make mah busy life soooo much easier." And then he starts to exxplain to the shocked lady that "all great men and women in history have worn diapers to save time and be more effective" and then they march historical characters on the stage presumably wearing diapers.
That joke is not offensive. It is not a joke at all. It's just goddamn stupid and embarrassingly cringy writing. Even more cringy was hearing the audience howling with laughter. And that piece of excrement of a sketch went on for *SIX FULL MINUTES*. And why link diapers with "busy life". Try something new.

And the butt -"haha"- of the joke was that the guy's pants were puffy because he had a diaper on and he was busy and "went to the toilet" while talking to his date. Jeez. Disgusting.

What if they built the joke around the fact that both of them are wearing and worried that the other will notice. Then they try to hide it the best they can but at some point the truth surfaces. Give me something, professional writers! You could really try to say something while being funny at the same time: for example you could use your show that has a million viewers every saturday to dissect a taboo. To show that yes, perfectly "normal" people who have jobs and go on dates may be wearing diapers due to a myriad of reasons - and you could still build humour around that.

Come up with something better than just filling an actor's pants with cottonwool and having him go "I am a successful businessman and when I'm on the go and I gotta go I go." AARRGGHH.


Wow! Great post, and a great idea about writing a sketch where both are wearing and worrying! I am fortunate to be married to a supportive wife, so I don't need to worry about entering the dating pool, but even she (jokingly) made a comment along the lines of, "well, I guess you can't leave me now..."

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:57 pm 
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I once toyed around with the idea of writing stand-up about incontinence and the associated need to buy diapers. Like, have you ever considered how adult incontinence products are marketed? If they don't go with the "serenity and confidence in a discreet form that keeps you fresh and active" route, they try to make those products appealing by listing their advanced properties. But they always faal a bit short. They should really go full-on hi-tech. Although Tena, for example, has tried this approach with their Guards and Shields for men. They have friggin' corsshairs(!) in the packaging! They make your underwear a James Bond level of Cool! Sure hit with the ladies (or hunks if that's your preference)! They come in different colors too! Like Black! Roar! (but usually oddish yellow, but hey..) Seriously though, Tena has rally tried making their packaging more appealing to men. You can get them in boxes even, I think. As if you were buying after-shave or a razor machine.

Like, how would you like this:

"The new extra-strech wings technology and resealable Quattro Tab® adhesive system of the QuantaBrief series IV allow for a comfortable and anatomically engineered fit that adapts to the contours of the user's body. The new modular construction allows for adjusting the product as needed even after Quattro Tab® has been activated, simulating non-absorbent undergarments while allowing for maximum security with the new Doube Side Shield® -barrier that allows for an innovative channeling of liquid flows towards the SuperAbsoran core of the product. The new simulated Egyptian cotton experience makes the interior smooth, soft and luxurious while allowing for a free flow of air thanks to the fully active Nanopore® ventilation system.
The rear and front buffer zones utilize a memory-fibre construction that retains shape even after long exposure to adverse conditions and prolonged use in the field. The Odour Eliminator® combined with the Natura pH® -system provide dry comfort even in wet environments and guarantee a cool and fresh feeling even under heavy use. The product has also been tested in Switzerland by Aeordynamisch Versuchsanstalt Bern for best aero- and urodynamic performance in all conditions. New QuantaBrief Superabsorbent Undergarment for Adults® series IV comes in four classes: Lightstreams®, Gush®, Torrent® and Tsunami®. QuantaBrief®. For all your needs®."

And then, of course, you have those cheap house-brands that come in a big white package that says DIAPERS FOR INCONTINENCE XTRA LARGE (The missing E saves printing and design costs) in the front with six inch letters. They have nothing to hide. They know what they are for and what will happen to them eventually. They don't bother. They accept their fate. But they try to embarrass their buyer before the end at the supermarket aisle.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:51 pm 
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Location: San Diego, CA
Although I am not Roman Catholic, I am a serious Christian, and I too have prayed about my extreme overactive bladder. Over the course of a lifetime no relief has been forthcoming. So, rather than relief from my condition I have been given multiple opportunities to encourage others whose life has been impacted by incontinence. While I would prefer the healing, I'm also grateful that my experiences are not in vain.

I've used some form of "protection" off and on for my entire life, more recently in diapers full-time since 2006. I am very discrete about my incontinence and use of diapers, and tend to be very private, even with my immediate family. While I am sensitive to incontinence humor, I appreciate a bit of comic relief, and it usually starts with my wife. One example was a statement in an advertisement that said, "void where prohibited", to which my wife pointed out that she guessed that it was okay then for me to wet my pants where prohibited, i.e. in public. The other instance was just the ordinary kind of everyday humor. Even though I wear a premium disposable diaper (with booster pad) I still wear plastic pants. I keep the plastic pants pretty conservative, only wearing white, yellow and light blue. When our youngest child was still a pre-schooler, she surprised my wife and I in the bedroom as we were dressing one morning, and all that I had on was a t-shirt and my diaper with plastic pants. Our daughter immediately noticed that my "underwear" was a lot different than her's and my wife's. I played it cool, but later my wife talked to her about it. Interestingly, even though she had never seen plastic pants before (she only wore disposables), our daughter had figured out that I was wearing mine over a diaper. She was curious why she was potty-trained, and I wasn't. My wife was matter-of-fact about it, and after showing our daughter my supplies, our daughter announced that she thought my yellow plastic "panties" were prettiest, to which my wife responded that she preferred the blue ones! I guess a three year-old can make a fashion statement, even for an incontinence garment. I do not like the term "panty" applied to anything I wear, which I guess is why my wife and daughter still refer to my plastic pants as plastic panties. Oh, well!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2019 4:28 pm 
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@Überaktive: ROTFL that great - you make my day! For which ad agency your working for. :-)


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