Personal Update and Bachelor Party Advice on Discreteness

[Dallasinc]

Dallasic,

You ask how I go about telling people about my urinary incontinence when I discover, for example, that I will be sharing a hotel room with a professional colleague. If there is any special technique of disclosure that would work better than another, I haven’t discovered it. I just tell the other guy in something like the following: “Since you and I are going to be sharing a hotel room on our upcoming trip, I need to let you know that I have a medical condition that causes me to have urinary incontinence. I manage this condition by wearing diapers. I will disposing of the used diapers in a way that should not cause you to be exposed to unpleasant odours.”

I respectfully disagree with Padded53 about the use of the word diaper. I believe in being straightforward and “calling a spade a spade.” However, if using euphemistic terminology makes life easier for you, go for it. But don’t be surprised if the person to whom you’re speaking responds to your euphemistic description with something like: “You mean that you wear a diaper?.”

Inconimiss, that’s a good way to approach it. Laying things out there in a truthful, mater-of-fact, way is probably the best way to go. As you mentioned, I’m not sure that any way of informing others is “easy” per se, but that seems like the way to go. I agree that calling a “spade a spade” is typically the best policy, but I think Padded’s idea has some utility in certain contexts. Thank you for the reply and the advice. It’s especially helpful to hear from someone dealing with this stuff in my career field.

These are old friends from long ago? You will have plenty to catch up on. As your group begins the unpacking and notices how many others have a CPAP the issue of aging will come up. Knee replacements, hip replacements, oral surgeries... That would be a good segue for you.

Yeah, these are mostly friends from high-school. We’re all around 28 so maybe not quite old enough for knee replacements, but I get your point haha. Hopefully a opportunity presents itself to have a mature conversation about it. You’re right that we’ll have plenty to catch up on!

[Padded53]

Hey Inconinmiss:
No problem at all with your disagreement with my approach and I have to admit that yours has a lot of merit. In this situation I don't think that your approach or mine, is necessarily correct. I suspect that should Dallasinc decide to talk to his friends about his incontinence it would be best to tailor his message to his audience. IMHO if his audience was a good bit older I suspect that saying "Depends" would conjure up the idea of a tape-up diaper just as you mentioned. However to a younger audience who has most probably been exposed to the many recent Depends/Always Discreet TV advertisements that emphasize the discreet "underwear" nature of their incontinence products they may not instantly think "Diaper".

BTW...Honest disagreement and discussion is what makes this forum such a valuable resource and differing views and approaches are always encouraged.

[sociologygeek]

Dallas,

I have recently become VERY open about my incontinence, and being able to tell anyone that I deal with it, and ive told complete strangers about it and people ive met in the library. I do this to raise awarness, as I am founding a nonprofit that has as its core mission providing diapers to low income or disabled individuals who are not served well by mediciad with the highest possible quality, in additon to ending the stigma of incontinence and raising awareness. Im so open that my mom recently expressed her wish that im less open about it. She said its a private matter because its in the bathroom.. and then brought up the fact that people get queasy when they see a diaper being changed on a toddler.. Yeah, welll, life is life.. when babies go, they go.

Quite honestly I don't know why we as a society consider bodily functions taboo. Its just another function of the body. We all pee and poop. When I "came out" pubicly about my incontinence on facebook, i recieved nothing but supportive comments, and it felt like a relief. I no longer had to hide the fact i have to wear diapers. Now do i go around saying to people at random i wear diapers? No, its usually in context with talking about my nonprofit.

I agree with everyone here. You are worrying about nothing and more than likely it will be a non issue to them. it will only be a big deal if you make it a big deal.

Peace out!

Rob

[Dallasinc]

Dallas,

I have recently become VERY open about my incontinence, and being able to tell anyone that I deal with it, and ive told complete strangers about it and people ive met in the library. I do this to raise awarness, as I am founding a nonprofit that has as its core mission providing diapers to low income or disabled individuals who are not served well by mediciad with the highest possible quality, in additon to ending the stigma of incontinence and raising awareness. Im so open that my mom recently expressed her wish that im less open about it. She said its a private matter because its in the bathroom.. and then brought up the fact that people get queasy when they see a diaper being changed on a toddler.. Yeah, welll, life is life.. when babies go, they go.

Quite honestly I don't know why we as a society consider bodily functions taboo. Its just another function of the body. We all pee and poop. When I "came out" pubicly about my incontinence on facebook, i recieved nothing but supportive comments, and it felt like a relief. I no longer had to hide the fact i have to wear diapers. Now do i go around saying to people at random i wear diapers? No, its usually in context with talking about my nonprofit.

I agree with everyone here. You are worrying about nothing and more than likely it will be a non issue to them. it will only be a big deal if you make it a big deal.

Peace out!

Rob

Rob,

I appreciate the encouragement and advice. Your candor and honesty is admirable. Admittedly, I don't think I am at your level yet, but I can appreciate the choice you have made to be open about your incontinence. Also, I meant to respond to your other post but I suppose I can tell you here that I think your non-profit sounds amazing. It's very cool that you care enough about these folks that you are willing to put your time, money, and effort into facilitating real aid to those who need it. I am reminded of the famous quote "you must be the change that you wish to see in the world." People like you make the world a better place. I wish you nothing but the best of luck!

Regards,

Dallas