Teen Daughter Incontinence

[MSUSpartan]

I totally get the hesitation to do that to her, but if she can't/won't be responsible for her own care, as a parent, you have to make up the difference.

I would warn her that she needs to wear her pullups, and take care of herself, or you'll have to have the school check up on her. Perhaps the potential consequence will get her to toe the line.

[greenbank]

Hi laurasmom

I feel so sorry for your daughter she must be going through such a lot of trauma at the moment her head must be in a spin it is bad enough copeing with the uncontrollable natural changes she is going through let alone diabeties and incontinence on top. On reading your post on face value it would appear that she is trying to gain some sort of control back on her life probably in the wrong way but the only way she knows how. The art is to give her some control back in her life to show that she is worth something. Perhaps a hobby a pet or something enjoyable to give her focus and some confidence and control back and that that wearing and using protection in the correct way is benefit not a disadvantage.

Teenage years can be so cruel at school with peer pressure teasing bullying any person with a slight deviation from the norm is prey I have been there.

Today manufactures like depend offer a non clinical looking pull-up that looks like normal underwear I assume that you have given this a go. I don't know if she has many friends if so safety in numbers it can be quite supprising how far true friends will go to protect others.

Have you thought about suggesting that the staff loo might be used by your daughter and to keep a supply of pull-up briefs there to used in lesson changes/breaks so that the embarrisment is removed from her bag for others to see. In the UK it is possible for children in certain situations to have lunch at home.

Are there any diabetics support groups for young adults in your area for her to join and show that she is special and normal.

I do hope that your daughter finds some solution that will work to remove one less stress from her teenage years.

Greenbank

[Wetters]

Hi, laurasmom. Although it isn't great news, I'm glad that you finally have an accurate diagnosis and can implement a compatible plan of action.

Maybe if you could help your daughter to understand that her need to wear diapers to school stems from a medical event, as opposed to babyishness, she may be less reluctant to embrace effective management of her daytime incontinence.

Kudos to you, Greenbank - you are very insightful.

Wetters

[Vandel Fisher]

It might be a good idea for someone to open a support group for incontinent teens and children. As you can see from many post here, even many mature adults have problems dealing with this emotionaly. I'm sure for not yet matured youngsters it is much much worse.

[Wetters]

I like your idea, Vandel.

Wetters

[greenbank]

It might be a good idea for someone to open a support group for incontinent teens and children. As you can see from many post here, even many mature adults have problems dealing with this emotionaly. I'm sure for not yet matured youngsters it is much much worse.

Hi there

What a great idea however we as adults must be careful with youngsters and ensure that the community owners consider child protection and Heath and Saftey issues before going down this path.

Greenbank

[Porkchop]

Greenback, I fear that such a group might bring on the freaks and doom the forum that hosted it....

[mattwp]

Lauras mom knowing from my school days if you dont step in soon things are going to get bad fast the kids are going to catch on to what the wet spots are and smell them with spring just around the bend and the warmer temps

[MightyChipmunk]

Your daughter seems like she has mixed feelings and decisions about whether or not to wear a pull-up, which is creating the conflict she is having. I'm wondering if sometimes she is not trying to control herself, and that she is just using the pull up. Your most recent post make it sound like the wetting has intensified since starting pull-ups. Considering she is a teenager, I think she needs to make the choice for herself, she will also have to face the consequences of whatever choice she is making. The more you try to force a choice on her the more likely she won't do it. If she seems to be struggling a lot with this, you might want to have her see a good counselor who can help figure out what she wants and what the right choice is for her. You might also consider where she is developmentally. If she has developmental, or emotional delays, you may want to respond different. Overall, you want her to be completely in agreement on whatever plan you try, otherwise she will fight and sabotage it.

[Vandel Fisher]

I wouldn't accuse her of not trying to control herself. I know from my self, I have enough control to go with out protection at times which I frequently do if the situation allows. I find that I have less control when wearing protection. It must be subconcious but I find myself wetting at times without realizing even when I is inconvienent for me & think I probably should have made it to the bathroom on time. It is even worse when I'm sure I will end up wetting the diaper/