Up until this week, I haven't had much of an issue with the TSA and airport security and I've given advice that said as much: relax, they've seen it all before, if there's any issue it will be minor and cleared up quickly.
I stand corrected.
First, my prior experiences:
The diaper I was wearing was flagged as an anomaly on a body scanner, back when they were first introduced. A pat down cleared the issue. I've had no further issues with body scanners identifying a diaper, moderately or minimally wet, as an anomaly requiring a pat-down.
On several instances, my carry-on bag with spare changes has been flagged in the x-ray machine. In every case, they have opened my bag, taken out the contents, sometimes taken chemical swabs (negative results), then repacked my bag and sent me on my way.
This time, I went through the body scanner (no problems) but my carry-on duffel packed with four days worth of diapers was flagged. There were no liquids or creams at all in that bag, in compliance with 3-1-1.
So they take apart my duffel like usual, take chemical swabs--and it tests positive. They run the individual contents through the x-ray again using their trays. There is a group of four guards around my bag at this point, looking rather tense; I am not allowed to touch any of my possessions, including the backpack and shoes that cleared security. Then I get a pat-down and they swab my hands--positive. Crap. So they take me into a back room.
I get a second pat-down by a different guy, apparently of a higher level, while they question me about my travel plans. I'm asked to disclose any pertinent information about what is on my person, so I tell them about my testicular implants and diaper. They do a third, more involved, pat-down and I'm asked to lift my shirt for some reason. The first guy leaves the room for a bit while a second guy watches me.
First guy comes back. Apparently he had taken a chemical swab at my waist band--and it came back positive. At this point, he explains my options. My bag has tested positive (for what exactly, I don't know) but has apparently been visually cleared. My hands have tested positive, but there's nothing suspect on my person--except the one thing that they can't clear because it tested positive for whatever and they can't see what's inside. He said 'I don't want it in my airport.' He presented my option: leave security with a guard, go downstairs to the restrooms, take off the diaper and go through security without a diaper. I tell them I'll try not to pee on their floor on the way back through security and I'm told they'll speed me through.
I note that my diaper bag usually causes problems at security and he isn't surprised--he then specifically mentions super-absorbent polymer as the likely culprit. I'm going to go ahead and assume something about it shares a similar density and chemical makeup to whatever is used in making explosives.
Yet another guard is called over and the 'sensitive situation' is explained to him. At this point I'm allowed to take my bags down the stairs with him to the restroom. He follows me in, watches the bags while I'm in the stall, and I come out with a wrapped up diaper in hand to dispose of in the trash can. We head back upstairs, the security line is long but he skips me to the front, and I basically start from square one with the whole routine while he keeps watch. Second time nothing is flagged, not even the offending bag (?!), and I'm cleared to go catch my flight. I head to the first bathroom I see to clean up and put a diaper on; on my way out I see a group of agents looking over and laughing. For my own sake, I will go ahead and assume it wasn't about me.
Other than that, they were acceptably professional (the gentleman who took me downstairs was a genuinely kind person), it was somewhat awkward, and this is why I arrive at the airport really early.
Incidentally, on the return flight I had zero issues at security. They didn't bat an eye at my duffel (which still had diapers in it--I tend to pack a reserve) on the x-ray, so no further scrutiny was warranted. Go figure; absolute inconsistency is apparently part of the plan. Never know when it's going to be a bad time.
|