www.incontinentsupport.org

I'd say the people on the boards here are likely an exception to the norm. We've already shown were more open and able to talk about our incontinence than most others, so it probably wouldn't bother us too much if someone approached us first. I doubt that could be said for the majority who already prefer to remain silent about it.

I don't wear diapers during the day, only "guards" and sometimes pull up underwear, but if someone heard the crinkle of the wrapper and approached me in the men's room to ask me if I was incontinent I'd be seriously put off. While I get the desire to seek out people in the same boat and find someone with whom you have something in common, I think it would be grossly inappropriate to "confront" someone you don't know in a public restroom about such a personal issue. I'd probably just shoot them the stink eye and walk away.

It would be different if someone got to know me a bit first and then asked me, but even then I'd not be thrilled about it. Anyone I want to know about my continence problems already knows. If you don't know, it's by design.

It's different on the interwebs. It's still anonymous. "Mike" isn't even my real name LOL.


I agree with your second point. If someone found out and told me and that they had the same problem I might be better off....but if someone finds out I'm a bedwetter it's most likely not a stranger....either I'm sleeping in your house and you saw my diapers or you're sleeping at my house and saw my diapers.

I think the location is a huge factor....not for nothing but I really don't want anyone approaching me to chat in a public bathroom. If I was checking into a hotel at which I requested a mattress cover and the bellboy was like "hey I wet the bed too, such a bummer man but it is what it is" I'd be a lot more receptive than some dude in a public restroom.

I think I would only say something if the person seemed like he needed assistance. For example, I take care of an elderly guy with a history of incontinence. Based on my experience with him, I can imagine situations in which I think it would be appropriate to reach out and offer help to an elderly person. But I doubt I would ever use my perception of an otherwise healthy person's incontinence as a conversation-starter. It's just too personal. Whenever I have to change my own diapers in public restrooms, I try to do so as discretely and as quickly as possible. On one occasion, someone seemed to understand what I was doing (I was throwing away a used diaper after I had changed). He sort of looked away and gave me some privacy. I really appreciated that and I have an intuition that others probably would, too. To me, it seems like a logical extension of standard, locker room etiquette. You sort of minimize personal interactions. If you see acquaintances while they are disrobed, you don't greet them the way you normally would. Interactions with strangers are held to an absolute minimum.

Noe

OK, I've been watching this thread and till now, I've remained silent. It seems to me the key word here is "confront" and I would never want that used in reference to me. Would you?

Let me leave it at that.

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- Tom

I think "confront" was just a bad choice of words. What he's describing is more like "approach".

I guess I have been I/C long enough that when folks approach me and ask me question Im there to help. Everybody's different, but for me I have to help and yes I have been asked some wild question.

I agree 100% with concerns about the verb "confront." We all seem to know what the OP meant.

Noe

Sorry for all the confusion, when submitting this post i was half a sleep so things weren't worded to my best ablitties. Also what i was really trying to say is how would people here feel if you were approched by another person asking about your UI or anuother type of icon, and would you ever approch someone else. Using what i said previously as an example scenario. As for myself Im not sure how I would feel probably would have felt invaded of personal space, but understanding of the other person.

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Bob

Yeah...approached/confronted . Most of us got what you were saying. Regardless, my incontinence isn't something I like to talk about with strangers. I probably wouldn't be rude about it but I'd probably just walk away without engaging them. I'd just find it really weird for someone I don't know to approach me and ask me something so personal.