What to wear- our best ways of concealing diapers and leaks

[MightyChipmunk]

I wear black and grey camoflage pants when not at work. Any leaks even major ones fade right into the pattern. I once had a major leak, huge wet spot going down my thighs. My wife who was with me didn't notice. And no one else mentioned anything.

[Don]

I have neurogenic incontinence and have been wearing diapers for several years. I've come to the point of not caring what other people think. I wear whatever I want. Board shorts, khakis, athletic shorts, jeans, and sometimes dress pants if the situation calls for it. I don't limit my wardrobe to just black. I have found that most people do not care what you wear. Nobody has ever said anything to me about wearing diapers. And for the most part, I don't value their opinion unless it is close family and friends. Nobody picks on me. I wear molicare super plus, which is not the thinnest diaper. Perhaps sometimes an outline is visible. But I try to stay comfortable and not worry about other people. They have their own problems to worry about besides concerning themselves in my affairs. When I go into a bathroom to change, I take my backpack into the bathroom, do my business and come out. I am long past trying to hide until everyone leaves and them changing. I have health problems and try not to worry. I don't think most people care. I change frequently and generally do not have any leeks.

[don0417]

I have neurogenic incontinence and have been wearing diapers for several years. I've come to the point of not caring what other people think. I wear whatever I want. Board shorts, khakis, athletic shorts, jeans, and sometimes dress pants if the situation calls for it. I don't limit my wardrobe to just black. I have found that most people do not care what you wear. Nobody has ever said anything to me about wearing diapers. And for the most part, I don't value their opinion unless it is close family and friends. Nobody picks on me. I wear molicare super plus, which is not the thinnest diaper. Perhaps sometimes an outline is visible. But I try to stay comfortable and not worry about other people. They have their own problems to worry about besides concerning themselves in my affairs. When I go into a bathroom to change, I take my backpack into the bathroom, do my business and come out. I am long past trying to hide until everyone leaves and them changing. I have health problems and try not to worry. I don't think most people care. I change frequently and generally do not have any leeks.

Now this guy has the right idea! Don't worry about things and live your life. I am like Don as I just don't care what others think. There's more in life to worry about.

[Papa]

I, too, often say "I do not care what others think." I wear jeans and shorts dress pants and casual pants. 80% of the time I am wearing cloth diapers and night weight at that. But... I still look in the mirror after dressing, still ask wife how I look, and she knows what I mean. I make sure my shirt is always tucked in or I have a onsie on and prefer longer shirts if worn out of pants, but always with a long tee or onsie under any shirt not tucked in. "I don't care what people think!" The truth is...I do care. I am just less stressed now than I was in the first few years because I have a much better handle on it now.

[msshendo]

Papa, I think you hit the nail on the head there. I like to say that I don't care what other's think. But inreality, I do care to an extent. I care to not walk around with a billboard that says I'm incontinent and wear diapers. I care to buy and wear diapers that are more discrete when needed. I care to make sure I don't leak. I care to do what I can to avoid the looks and giggles from those around me.

So, though I don't care to the extent that if someone finds out I will talk with them and explain it, I do still care.

[JDinVirginia]

I'm like Papa - I do care what others think - however I am not longer paranoid about it.

Most of the time I wear ComfiDry Dry 24/7 diapers with a booster pad, plastic pants, and a onesie or compression pants - not exactly a thin diaper combination. Despite that, I would challenge anyone to really be able to tell that I am wearing a diaper. However, I don't think that people either notice or care. I wear black jeans or dockers not to hide the diaper, but to hide any leaks, should they occur.

--John

[ILuvLA]

JD & Papa: You are both "spot on". I do and don't care what others think/see. I do try to avoid obvious displays that I am wearing a diaper. But I am no longer paranoid about it; if it shows (and it has at times), then so be it. No more black pants/shorts or religiously tucked in shirts for me; yet I try to keep my "diaper line" underneath the waistline of my pants. To date, no one has ever said anything; I assume that either they didn't see anything or didn't care! And if they do, then ... "oh well" ... It's how I "cover up" much like *you, the other person* wears underwear and clothes to cover up; any questions?

[JDinVirginia]

Guys (and gals),

If we were to pass each other on the street, not knowing who the other person is, I seriously doubt that any of us would think "That person is wearing a diaper!" Yet, if anyone in the general population is best qualified to play "spot the diaper" it is those of us who wear 24/7.

Of course, when you are new to wearing diapers, it is natural to feel insecure and anxious. When I first found this and other groups, my first priorities were to learn how to stop leaks and how to conceal the diaper. It has taken me about 3 years to get to my current stage.

How long did it take you guys to arrive at a point where you felt comfortable and emotionally secure with how you wear, particularly when out of the home?

--John

[msshendo]

JD, I would say it took me several years too. I think that where I am now has more to do with having my family and a few close friends know. The breaking point for me was when we went away for a weekend with friends and all shared one room. They had to know because we were in one room together. So I told them. Their reaction was along the lines of, "Ok, no problem." That helped to put my mind at ease that this was no big deal and just something I lived with. My diapers are just my underwear. When boxes are delivered, my daugther who is 7 says, "Daddy, is that your underwear?" That's all it is. Underwear. Nothing else. The only difference is I can take my underwear off and throw it away and put on a new one.

[CJinNM]

There are so many positive things about what you've all posted here. Acceptance is a wonderful thing. Yes, it took me a couple of years to calm my anxiety down thinking "everyone must be able tell what I'm wearing" just because it felt so obvious to me. Having worn a diaper 24/7 for the past couple of years I've become desensitized to it/them. I would say the only thing that I have as a requirement for my daily wardrobe is that I only by shirts that are long enough to be tucked in. I tended to dress that way before I was incontinent and now it's just like a little insurance policy.

The one exception for me is that I don't tuck my workout shirts into my gym shorts. I still buy workout shirts that are fairly long to help cover the puffy bottom effect and which would have to go a fairly long way to fully ride up enough to expose a waistband of a diaper. It's just too hard to keep a shirt tucked in while exercising strenuously so I gave up trying and count on length to save my a$$ (pun sort of intended).

CJ