Telling Young Children

[dd1983]

My wife and I have recently decided to begin trying to grow our family and have a baby. Although it is an incredibly exciting time of our lives, I am nervous about how I to handle wearing diapers with young children. Obviously it is a ways away... but I am just curious if anyone here has had to tell children about your condition? Or do you just try and hide it for as long as you can and tell them when they are older? I don't want them to grow up embarrassed that I wear diapers, but I don't want to hide anything either.

Any suggestions?

dd

[mlhjr]

DD,
All my children were in there late teens when my issue arose so I can't comment on young children. They are were not at all embarrassed about it.

[Patrick]

My family watched me endure some six urological surgeries, in addition to two hospitalizations for Meniere's Disease (an inner ear condition). They simply accepted diapers as being as much a part of me as glasses or hearing aids. It has been a matter-of-fact acceptance rather than an emotional coming-out event. This could become an issue when potty training begins; however, if you can manage a matter-of-fact attitude when you approach the subject, it will rub off on your children, which should ease the situation for everybody. Good luck.

[B Brian]

This has come up on other diaper related sites. The consensus has been mostly that you just won't be able to hide your need for diapers from your kids for very long. At some point they will notice or find your stash, trash, or whatever. It is best to just let them find out when they find out, and to not make it out as a big deal.

Yes, some have had issues with their kids not wanting to potty train because their parent isn't either. Most still will potty train, but even the difficult cases usually get resolved during kindergarten when they see the other kids don't wear diapers any more (and possibly get teased for still being in them).

[PB&J32]

I can comment on this as I have two boys (ages 4 1/2 and 6) I am new to diapers and incontinence for a little more than 2 years. The kids noticed after they became potty trained. They noticed that "daddy wears diapers" they thought it was funny and they came out with that without hearing me or the wife call them that. (We rarely made mention of them as "diapers" in their presence) when they seemed to become aware that they were, in fact diapers. I had the conversation with them that some people wear different underwear and that some people have problems that they don't have any control over. We highlighted the point that this was a private family matter and that it wasn't something we should be telling people out of the house. I made the effort to be "matter of fact" about it. With children I feel that if you are straight forward with children and use language they can understand they will understand and it won't be a big deal to them.
I can't think of anybody's kids that don't have some kind of disability or cognitive impairment that actually go to kindergarten in diapers. It's been my experience raising children and knowing many other parents nearby that their children are potty trained well in advance of the kindergarten age. Though my son who is in kindergarten did come home and tell me about a boy his age who he saw wearing diapers when the kids shirt rode up on the playground. Again, I think this is fairly rare in schools for kids 5 or 6 to still be in diapers without some sort of disability. I told him once again that some people have problems beyond their control and that we need to be accepting of people who are different than we are because we don't know their stories. I told him to not make fun of somebody for being different or wearing diapers. Just trying to do my part to raise a good citizen. Hopefully some of this is helpful.

[Porkchop]

My issues started slowly but got worse about two years ago. At the time my sons were 4 & 6, and we decided to keep it from them because they didn't need to know. Plus, my youngest son is autistic, and now at 7 still isn't fully potty trained. They're 7 & 9 now and still don't know, since they don't need too at this point but when they are old enough to figure it out and have questions, I will have that talk with them. They DO know that Daddy got hurt in the war before they were born, which has allowed them to shrug off most of my health issues. I think you're likely stressing over nothing, so enjoy your kids and rock on!!!

[dd1983]

I think you're likely stressing over nothing, so enjoy your kids and rock on!!!

Thanks everyone for the input. Its been helpful to hear how you all have handled things. I am probably worrying about something that won't be a big deal at all. Appreciate the encouragement.

[msshendo]

My daughter knows. She's 8. We kind of told her that daddy needs to wear diapers because of issues he has. She understands they are daddy's underwear. We talked with her about keeping things private and that other people don't need to know what you wear for underwear. I trust her not to go talking about it. It wasn't possible to keep it a secret in a small two bedroom apartment. And I mean very small!

[63WArmy]

My 6 year old knows. He is high functioning autism. He has yet to say anything about them but he has walked in on me getting ready for my day. I really don't think he cares. We are very up front and honest in our family. He wants to know about everything. He was in the hospital with me and he wanted to know about the catheter that was placed in me. He was looking at the bag and said "thats a lot of pee daddy. It's between the 800 and 1000" he wanted to see the catheter but I told him that was private.

[Porkchop]

My 6 year old knows. He is high functioning autism. He has yet to say anything about them but he has walked in on me getting ready for my day. I really don't think he cares. We are very up front and honest in our family. He wants to know about everything. He was in the hospital with me and he wanted to know about the catheter that was placed in me. He was looking at the bag and said "thats a lot of pee daddy. It's between the 800 and 1000" he wanted to see the catheter but I told him that was private.

Sorry to hear that your son has these difficulties... my two boys are special needs as well. My youngest has high functioning autism as well.