www.incontinentsupport.org

So Im a down to earth kind of a guy and don't let my UI or anthing really get to me. Ive learned to accept my incontince and diapers as a part of my life now, another thing to add to my everyday tasks. However yesterday it got to me, after having a conversation with my father about it and seeing the sorro on his face for me, which only got me thinking of how its also affecting other people in my life. Like my future wife who knows about my condition and is understanding of me wearing 24/7, and remebering all the bad day of having leaks in public and feeling disgusted at myself and wishing I can just get away from all this.

I know there are brighter days to come and that this experience will only make me stronger, and that to take each day one at a time but some days are just hard...

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Bob

You're correct on both counts - some days are hard and there are indeed brighter days ahead.
I don't mean to brag, but my take on this problem is so close to neutral compared to what I would have expected, if I'd known in advance that it was coming, that I see it (my reaction to it) as a blessing from God. When I have a diaper on, I feel safe; when I am able to do without, I feel free (if a bit nervous...)

One day at a time, that is all you can do... just remember, it could be worse, not to make it seem like this is a fun affliction to have to deal with! Hang in there! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hi Bob

You are a super person you must never be ashamed of who you are. You have been so very blessed with a future wife who has accepted who you are don't discount this priceless love plant the love in your memory and on a down day focus on this. If your father is having any issues I feel sure that there are support groups to help him on his journey.

Take care

Greenbank

i also feel down sometimes. i think its normal. i had a down moment today when none of the tapes on any but one of the diapers i brought would stick. i said a few choice swear words and tried to get on with my evening, but damn it sucks sometimes. and id be lying if i said it didnt. hang in there. you will have good and bad days but its all manageable.

Thank you all you guys for all the responses, things are feeling better now, don't know how much I appreciate this site and the people here.

GreenBank, I hate when that happens to the tapes, ruins the whole day!

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Bob

Hi Bob

Glad you are feeling better, we all have down days and it really helps to bounce back when you have the support of your family and the members here

One thing I have learned over the years no mater how old you are your parents will always worry about every aspect of your life and always feel bad when they can not help to fix whats wrong.

never feel ashamed you have to wear diapers and leak once and a while when your diaper fails, it does get easier over time and you will get to the point that wearing diapers will be a none issue.

glad you are feeling better, bob. i totally comes in waves for me. yesterday i was fine then my tapes screwed up and i was feeling crappy for even having to deal with all of this. i dont have a partner but my parents definitely feel sorry for me. ill be 39 on the 8th and i have been dealing with a lot of "i shouldnt be dealing with this at my age." so yeah it comes and goes but just weather the storms and enjoy the good days.

Bob,
You have been getting lots of positive reinforcement here, take it to heart. We have all been there before. Your underwear does not determine who you are. Plain and simple. There will come a time here when you will be reminding one of us about this simple truth, but tonight is my turn. Take care of your self, and remember that you are as valuable as anyone of us. Also remember, when you get to heaven, tip your guardian angel.

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- Tom

yeah I hear you. My wife feels for me a lot with my bedwetting. When the problem really ramped up to where I couldn't hide it and had to start wearing diapers, she was really worried and concerned. I think her feeling bad for me made it worse. She's been nothing but supportive though and we're doing well with it. Sometimes she'll get in bed with me (she comes to bed much later than I do cuz she's a tv junkie) and will wake me up. She'll ask my if I'm dry and if I am she'll rip my diaper off and initiate sex. It's awesome because she's showing me that the diaper doesn't turn her off. When we're done, I just diaper back up and I'll crack a joke that she just cost me a dollar forty three. Our love life and intimacy hasn't missed a beat and that's been huge for me. One of my biggest initial problems with wearing a diaper was not feeling like much of a man and not feeling sexy for my wife. It's turned out, like most things I find, to be more of a problem in my mind than in reality.

If you're future wife is half as understanding as my wife (she must be, you're marrying her) then you'll be just fine. I don't have to wear 24/7 but if my problem progresses to that, I'm not at all concerned about it from a me/the wife standpoint. I'd have a lot of learning and coping to do to deal with that but my wife is my rock. I'd have a very hard time dealing with 24/7 diapers at work and stuff but even so, God never gives us more than we can handle. I believe that. So if I end up in diapers then so be it. There's so much more to life than this little health nuisance.