Hi Elmo I'm also in New Zealand.
I have a few suggestions for good quality nappies for you. I don't sell them and I'm not affiliated with any of these businesses, but I know how hard it is to source a good quality nappy here without spending a fortune. I apologize in advance for the links, however it took me some time to find all these on my own and would like to save my fellow kiwi the trouble.
One little known brand is Prevail, their Night Time or extended wear nappies are well worth the price. I highly recommend them. You can find them from Supercare.co.nz a division of Babyonline.co.nz. You'll find them listed under Supercare Night Time Briefs, but they are Prevail. They are by far the best nappy I have found here in New Zealand and well worth their price. They are US manufactured, with cloth outerlayer and refastenable Velcro tabs. Although they are highly absorbent they hide well under baggy pants. These are way better than anything you'll find at your local druggist or grocery aisle.
I'm sure you've heard of Abena, they make a high absorbency diaper. Personally I think Prevail makes a better one, although Abena holds more the Abena diaper's filling falls apart causing them to sag so they're really only good for night use. You can find Abena here:
http://yellow.co.nz/y/bunzl-outsourcing-services?c=9334Attends are hard to find here in New Zealand but they do make an excellent Slip. You can source their products from two places
http://www.qualitycare.co.nz/ &
https://online.ebos.co.nz/default.cfm?a ... nd_id=1118the slips are an excellent daytime product, discreet, silent and surprisingly highly absorbent.
Abena makes a great male guard for lighter accidents. They can also be sourced from BUNZL. They were surprisingly reliable for a small pad.
Don't feel bad about wearing a nappy for incontinence. It's better than taking medicines that rot your brain. It's better than soaking your car seat or friend's chair. It's way better than staying home and being a recluse. I would rather explain the nappy than find myself soaked in public. I used to worry about people noticing them under my pants but really most of the time people are too busy doing their own thing to notice.