Again, thanks all for the hints, tips, and advice!
We had lunch today. After some general catch up and chit-chat, the "flood gates opened" (pardon the pun).
Overall, he's doing quite well. Just shocked that the procedure that was supposed to help him had the 100% opposite effect. He had the steam procedure where steam is injected into the prostate to shrink it. Apparently this is the least invasive of all the prostate procedures. ... well ... the fluid bags that were connected to him in order to keep his bladder full after the procedure were inadvertently allowed to run dry. This caused bladder lesions/scarring, atrophy, stricture, and a bevy of other problems. He had to have a second procedure to correct all of the above. A few days after having the catheter removed, all seemed well. Then, *it* happened. UI/OAB. He has about 15 seconds warning and then, *bam*. According to his surgeon, he is in the 4% category where things go wrong and he may or may not regain continence. Gut puncher to say the least; but he seems to be *accepting* (with some trepidation of course).
We bonded over the fact that both of our issues were the result of medical failure (i.e., negligence). So, yes I shared my journey; the ups/downs, etc. He seemed to "get it". It helps that he is 65 and things happen when you are "old". I was 36 when my gut punch hit. But he also knows that my wife and I travel (a lot), we raised three fine, productive, working young men, we enjoy life, etc. So he can witness that there is life even if you are in diapers. In fact, he was surprised that I was in a diaper during our lunch. He said he had no idea (of course because 99.9% of people don't know and/or care).
Of course I shared with him this forum since there are others here who have had some type of prostate procedure that he might relate to. And that there are better products than depends and attends. He was surprised to learn that there were such things that could let me go on with life for many hours at a time!
All in all, it was a great lunch. I don't think there was any shame on either side; just understanding. That was the best I could hope for.
Hopefully he joins this forum. It would be wonderful to learn of his surgical experiences.
Thanks again to all.
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