why can't I just be normal
Wed May 13, 2009 3:21 am
I woke up yesterday, took off my wet diaper, showered and as I was getting out of the shower the same nagging question popped back into my head,"Why can't I be normal"
I put on a good show that wearing diapers is fine with me and that it's no big deal. I think I said once that with all of the disabilities I could have, wearing a diaper wasn't even a blip on the radar. Well yesterday morning it all came to a head once again.
Maybe it's the economy and the loss of work and all the worry on top of being wet all of the time. I just wanted to be able to get dressed with regular cotton briefs and jeans and go off to work. I really didn't want to go through the daily ritual of putting on a diaper for the day. For some reason yesterday just made it all too clear that this is my life and I just wasn't in the mood to accept it.
I put on a good show that wearing diapers is fine with me and that it's no big deal. I think I said once that with all of the disabilities I could have, wearing a diaper wasn't even a blip on the radar. Well yesterday morning it all came to a head once again.
Maybe it's the economy and the loss of work and all the worry on top of being wet all of the time. I just wanted to be able to get dressed with regular cotton briefs and jeans and go off to work. I really didn't want to go through the daily ritual of putting on a diaper for the day. For some reason yesterday just made it all too clear that this is my life and I just wasn't in the mood to accept it.
Wed May 13, 2009 9:37 am
What's Normal 
What's one persons insanity is often another's reality
..............................Sandy
What's one persons insanity is often another's reality
..............................Sandy
Wed May 13, 2009 10:03 am
JRB,
I think anyone that has a handicap, and/or disability feels the same way at times. I share those same thoughts from time-to-time, but I also know my situation could be a lot worse than it is.
Staying postive and moving forward is the key to keeping a "good" attitude. Anyone who has a handicap can always think of the negative,......but you can ALWAYS find something positive in every situation.
I think anyone that has a handicap, and/or disability feels the same way at times. I share those same thoughts from time-to-time, but I also know my situation could be a lot worse than it is.
Staying postive and moving forward is the key to keeping a "good" attitude. Anyone who has a handicap can always think of the negative,......but you can ALWAYS find something positive in every situation.
Wed May 13, 2009 7:17 pm
Normal is just a setting on a washing machine.
We're all different... and incontinence may be a blessing or a curse, just depends on how you look at it.
There are times where I wish I could just toss on some briefs and head out the door... but there are plenty of times I'm thankful for the diapers too.
Live for the good times, and forget about the bad.
We're all different... and incontinence may be a blessing or a curse, just depends on how you look at it.
There are times where I wish I could just toss on some briefs and head out the door... but there are plenty of times I'm thankful for the diapers too.
Live for the good times, and forget about the bad.
Thu May 14, 2009 7:25 pm
Amen to that.. sure there's times where i resent having to diaper up to go to work..particularly when i was still using Wings Supreme... 
One Wendesday morning.. it took me a HALF HOUR to get ready to go.. because my diapers were just not cooperating.. i was a half hour late.. how in the world do you explain to your boss that you were late cuz you couldn't get your diaper on right? That was when i decided to drop the Wednesday shift. I honestly don't know why i put up with wings supreme as long as i did.. it wasnt until december that i switched.. LOL.. i guess i got tired of packing tape every time i had to diaper up..LOL. Yeah, it gets me down sometimes.. and its made me avoid some situations.. like swimming..i have yet to get a swim diaper.. i know its not strictly necessary for urinary incon..but better safe than sorry, especially with what my bowels SOMETIMES do.. so, if my incon does turn out to be permanent, wearing diapers will take on a whole new significance. they will cease to be a "back up" and become more of an every day use kind of thing.. where i dont really use the bathroom at all.. right now, i do wear them ALL the time.. but i still try to use the bathroom whenever i can.. but, it takes its toll.. diapers aren't meant to be pulled down, then taken up, pulled down then taken up.. thats more meant for a pullup..but we already know how i feel about using pullups.. not enough padding in the crotch. Today was actually quite mild. Diaper stayed dry all day.. with frequent but not over the board bathroom trips.. like it wasnt enough to drive me bonkers or disrupt my day.. i was taking a break at the time anyway.. it didnt really interrupt anything..
One Wendesday morning.. it took me a HALF HOUR to get ready to go.. because my diapers were just not cooperating.. i was a half hour late.. how in the world do you explain to your boss that you were late cuz you couldn't get your diaper on right? That was when i decided to drop the Wednesday shift. I honestly don't know why i put up with wings supreme as long as i did.. it wasnt until december that i switched.. LOL.. i guess i got tired of packing tape every time i had to diaper up..LOL. Yeah, it gets me down sometimes.. and its made me avoid some situations.. like swimming..i have yet to get a swim diaper.. i know its not strictly necessary for urinary incon..but better safe than sorry, especially with what my bowels SOMETIMES do.. so, if my incon does turn out to be permanent, wearing diapers will take on a whole new significance. they will cease to be a "back up" and become more of an every day use kind of thing.. where i dont really use the bathroom at all.. right now, i do wear them ALL the time.. but i still try to use the bathroom whenever i can.. but, it takes its toll.. diapers aren't meant to be pulled down, then taken up, pulled down then taken up.. thats more meant for a pullup..but we already know how i feel about using pullups.. not enough padding in the crotch. Today was actually quite mild. Diaper stayed dry all day.. with frequent but not over the board bathroom trips.. like it wasnt enough to drive me bonkers or disrupt my day.. i was taking a break at the time anyway.. it didnt really interrupt anything..
Sat May 16, 2009 12:51 pm
Thank you all for your support. I have worked out my issues regarding this topic. I guess no matter how much we are able to cope with a lifetime of diapers, it still gets to us sometimes.
I'm sitting here in an Abena extra plus and a booster pad and all is well. My life is back to my state of normalcy. I had a good week. I am currently working on a deck project and I would not have been able to be productive if it wasn't for the fact that I wear diapers. So with that said, I am back on track
I'm sitting here in an Abena extra plus and a booster pad and all is well. My life is back to my state of normalcy. I had a good week. I am currently working on a deck project and I would not have been able to be productive if it wasn't for the fact that I wear diapers. So with that said, I am back on track
Sat May 16, 2009 2:43 pm
The question is, normal?
As it has been said, normal is not the same for each of us.
Economics, the worry of keeping a job and many other things are starting to get me down as well. Another thing that didn’t help me is the type of diaper I use is no longer on sale. Being a tightwad, like I am, this just escalates my feelings.
Another thing that didn’t help is on the top of my physical therapy folder, they had listed my drug allergies and then there was something else listed, NO AQUA Therapy. The only reason that is there is because I am incontinent. For what ails me, I don’t think aqua therapy would be something that helps, but just having something written down, labeling, preventing me from doing something because I am incontinent is just another blow.
As it has been said, normal is not the same for each of us.
Economics, the worry of keeping a job and many other things are starting to get me down as well. Another thing that didn’t help me is the type of diaper I use is no longer on sale. Being a tightwad, like I am, this just escalates my feelings.
Another thing that didn’t help is on the top of my physical therapy folder, they had listed my drug allergies and then there was something else listed, NO AQUA Therapy. The only reason that is there is because I am incontinent. For what ails me, I don’t think aqua therapy would be something that helps, but just having something written down, labeling, preventing me from doing something because I am incontinent is just another blow.
Mon May 18, 2009 2:04 am
I started out taking all of this one day at a time, beginning with my incontinence some years ago. After being face to face with a life threatening infection, tons of meds, an IV pump for three months following my three week stay in the hospital and the realization that I would be spending the rest of my life wearing diapers.
Yes after all of that, having to wear diapers for the rest of my life didn't seem all that bad. he best therapy at the time and what seems to work the best for me is to take it all one day at a time. Not to look at the big picture but to concentrate on the small victories. Well this all worked quite well in dealing with my loss of bladder control, that is until the bottom fell out of everything else.
Losing my job of ten years do to a flagging economy. The loss of health insurance due to the high cost. Trying to pick up the pieces by going into business for myself, my wife losing her job of over thirty years of service to Kmart and on and on.
Try as I may and looking at the fact that it can always be worse! (I am beginning to hate that phrase), all of this just got to me. It wasn't really the fact that I felt abnormal due to my incontinence, it just seemed to be all too overwhelming at the time.
I am back to taking it one day a t a time and trying not to become unhinged again.
Yes after all of that, having to wear diapers for the rest of my life didn't seem all that bad. he best therapy at the time and what seems to work the best for me is to take it all one day at a time. Not to look at the big picture but to concentrate on the small victories. Well this all worked quite well in dealing with my loss of bladder control, that is until the bottom fell out of everything else.
Losing my job of ten years do to a flagging economy. The loss of health insurance due to the high cost. Trying to pick up the pieces by going into business for myself, my wife losing her job of over thirty years of service to Kmart and on and on.
Try as I may and looking at the fact that it can always be worse! (I am beginning to hate that phrase), all of this just got to me. It wasn't really the fact that I felt abnormal due to my incontinence, it just seemed to be all too overwhelming at the time.
I am back to taking it one day a t a time and trying not to become unhinged again.
Mon May 18, 2009 8:33 am
There are a lot of people that become incontinent over night with injuries, or with some type of serious infection like what you had. Incontinence for this group of people (myself included) is a secondary issue to the cause. While you were in the hospital for 3 weeks how much did you think about being incontinent? Probably not much when your faced with a live, or die situation. 
If there was an option of how I would become incontinent,.... I would have much rather become incontinent gradually over time,... and not over night. At least I would have time to make a mental adjustment.
Just about anything can happen with the economy being what it is. Not the best time to start a new business unless it can some how provide some type of free service. However, things are beginning to look a little better in the BIG picture but as many have already said,....this is going to take time so there is still hope for your wife who has worked for Kmart for 30 years. I would recommend that she keeps her name fresh by calling the company from time to time just to let them know she is still available for work and looks forward to hearing from them sometime soon.
If you've not already done so, check with your state and see what benefits, if any, you might qualify for. I have no shame in receiving benefits from the state after paying into all of these programs for so many years with all those deductions that were taken from my paycheck.
I can relate to how you feel. I became bladder incontinent from an injury some time ago, so becoming bladder incontinent happened over night. Over time, I also became bowel incontinent but this was more gradual. Like many people right now, I was laid off from work and it didn't take long before the saving was gone. The only income I have is unemployment, and my health coverage is paid for by the state with no deductible for meds, doc visits, incontinence supplies, etc. There are several types of programs available so I recommend you contact you local Department of Economic Security as soon as possible and find out what's available. Many services (health care included) have a sliding scale so even if the service is not free, it may have a very "reasonable" cost including any meds you may need.
Hope this helps.
John
If there was an option of how I would become incontinent,.... I would have much rather become incontinent gradually over time,... and not over night. At least I would have time to make a mental adjustment.
Just about anything can happen with the economy being what it is. Not the best time to start a new business unless it can some how provide some type of free service. However, things are beginning to look a little better in the BIG picture but as many have already said,....this is going to take time so there is still hope for your wife who has worked for Kmart for 30 years. I would recommend that she keeps her name fresh by calling the company from time to time just to let them know she is still available for work and looks forward to hearing from them sometime soon.
If you've not already done so, check with your state and see what benefits, if any, you might qualify for. I have no shame in receiving benefits from the state after paying into all of these programs for so many years with all those deductions that were taken from my paycheck.
I can relate to how you feel. I became bladder incontinent from an injury some time ago, so becoming bladder incontinent happened over night. Over time, I also became bowel incontinent but this was more gradual. Like many people right now, I was laid off from work and it didn't take long before the saving was gone. The only income I have is unemployment, and my health coverage is paid for by the state with no deductible for meds, doc visits, incontinence supplies, etc. There are several types of programs available so I recommend you contact you local Department of Economic Security as soon as possible and find out what's available. Many services (health care included) have a sliding scale so even if the service is not free, it may have a very "reasonable" cost including any meds you may need.
Hope this helps.
John