I am in my 60s and have been managing type-2 diabetes for about 20 years. I have some loss of feeling in my feet and the beginnings of sharp pains in my lower legs that last between 5 to 30 seconds.
In December I discovered to my horror(!), that I can lose control of my bladder. The first time was at an office supply store while standing in line to pay at the cashier. All of a sudden, I felt myself starting to go. Being in a public place and shopping there with a relative, I immediately grimaced and mustered all of the inner strength I could find and managed somehow to stop it. I knew that if it were to happen again that it would be a battle lost (fortunately I succeeded in getting home ok). All this pandemic stuff makes shopping difficult with closed washrooms and lineups for everything!
That was followed by another incident at home a week later but I was able to grab myself and pinch it off until it subsided (I was waiting for our one and only bathroom). After that, it had my attention. I discussed it with my wife and after some research contacted the doc. I had my urine tested for infection, but that test was negative. The doc said what I was expecting to hear -- that it was due to nerve damage from the diabetes.
So while waiting for the test results, I was in a quandary. The last thing I wanted to suffer was the public humiliation of a bathroom breakdown in the mall or at the office. My wife half heartedly suggested that I might wear a diaper when I went out, which I immediately dismissed. During the following week I lost a lot of sleep over this. But by mid week, I decided that a diaper would be far better than publicly leaking all over the checkout line. So one night on my way home from work, I brushed aside my pride and bought a package of adult diapers. She was out that night, so this gave me the needed privacy to try them out.
The next challenge was to let the mrs know that I was going to wear a diaper on my way out to the mall. Even though she had made the suggestion a week prior, we had never talked about it again. At the time I was so nervous about this. I was about to change my clothes while holding a white pull-up in my hand when she came into the bedroom to discuss something. I figured that she would see the diaper in my hand and ask about it. She later finished talking but never noticed the diaper! Go figure. So as she is leaving finally I just blurted out that I was going to put on my diaper before going to the mall. That stopped her cold in her tracks.
Anyway, after some discussion and showing her what I had in mind, she was mostly supportive. I say mostly because then she wanted to discuss all the alternatives like guards. I think her primary motivation was to save money. But I have had some struggles with diarrhea also (I take the max dose of metformin along with slow acting insulin), so I wanted the full solution.
So, now I wear a pull-up every day for accident prevention. It has saved the day a few times on shopping expeditions. The first time out I was so afraid someone might notice. Several weeks later, I can say I don't care anymore if someone notices or "knows". But for a while I did feel guilty about it -- was I over-reacting? Did I really need to do this? But the few episodes since have convinced me that this is the right thing to do. My wife has been supportive by buying packages for me when they are on sale. My kids (over 27) don't know yet. I'm not too concerned about that.. one day though, they will likely be brought into my "circle of trust".
So far, I can say that the diaper has brought me confidence that I was starting to lose. I sleep in it too, just in case the incontinence starts in the night (which so far, it has not).
The nurses at a diabetes session 20 years ago warned us that some would become incontinent. So while this wasn't new to me, I just assumed that it would apply to someone else. Nothing else prepared me for any of this. What to buy, how to know if you need it, and how to discuss with your wife etc. Wives however don't seem to be as stigmatized by this with their experience giving birth and pads etc. I just had to laugh when my wife had to show me how to use a guard (pad).
So there you have it. Life goes on, though perhaps not in the way you imagined it would!
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