Ellyn wrote:
Depression has EVERYTHING to do with confidence.
This is so true but even that hard to overcome this circle...
For me it took really a long time... Maybe half a year after my problems started I found a local support group (what actually also was an idea of my wive...) and - it might sound stupid, but it was easier to talk with people with similar problems about that but with my wive that I loved for so long and with who I share such a long time of my live.
One of the things helping me, was to get more awareness for small feelings off success that I reached while trying to improve my continence and also to realice that this is not only "binary". But I think the secret of success for the return of our sexual live was, that I overcame my fears to talk with her about my own intimate fears and wishes and to ask about her's. I mean we know each other for a long time - but it was probably as it is often in long time relation ships - somewhen you stop talking about things like that - what might be a big mistake at all. How ever I learned that I was still attractive to her and that her care wasn't just compassion - what was my biggest fear and it was really important for me to get this feedback. I learned also a couple of new thinks about her and I think in the end we maybe have now a deeper relationship then before.