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Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
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Author:  ILuvLA [ Fri Nov 10, 2023 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
I’m just having one of those “days“. I really thought “*those days*” of feeling “depressed“ about incontinence were behind me. I was wrong.

I’ve been poked, prodded, and pierced in ways that I wouldn’t want on anybody. I’ve leaked, stained, smelled, and been only in diapers and seen by many in just that state. I’ve experienced “shame“ to the degree that it is “laughable“ after the fact but not during (got lots of funny stories for another day; probably a new topic to start?). So I have all this experience. I'm a "pro". I can be *just in a diaper* and I'm "ok". No big deal for me, right?!?

Yet ... someone sent me a message today that set me off. It was just part of a normal conversation. They weren’t being nasty or probing. They were just asking questions. Totally innocent. Nothing wrong with that, right? … Well … It got me. And it got me hard. :oops:

And now I feel like I’m back at square one. Like when I first realized I am *totally* incontinent. All the feelings; questions; etc. Oh my gosh! I don’t even know how to process what I am feeling right now.

So, my dear brethren. … I’m using you as my sounding board. A place to vent .. I just feel like I needed to unload; and you guys/gals are my target. Sorry for unburdening on you all. But thank you for listening.
Author:  WetDad [ Fri Nov 10, 2023 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
I have had those days, I can sympathize with you. I still get them occasionally, and it always helps to remember the Serenity Prayer.
Author:  Patrick [ Fri Nov 10, 2023 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
Vent away, with my blessing.

I guess I may be an outlier here. My bladder was cramping painfully; the surgery that made me permanently incontinent protected my kidneys from reflux injury. I had a choice: diapers or dialysis. I chose diapers. I work hard to avoid inflicting my incontinence on folks around me, but I am embarrassed only when I have managed my incontinence unsuccessfully.
Author:  desertrat [ Mon Nov 13, 2023 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
ILuvLA wrote:
...and been only in diapers and seen by many in just that state..


Ugh. I get that.

I had hand surgery and afterwards couldn't urinate. They had to straight-cath me and something went wrong, it was incredibly painful and I passed blood and tissue for a couple days. I was wearing a pull-up because I have pretty frequent fecal incontinence. I was having it that day so I wore it into surgery.

They thought it was an anesthesia issue (turned out it wasn't), and even after they catheterized me they wouldn't let me go home until I could urinate on my own. I made many trips to the restroom to try to try to get something to work. By this point my wife had to leave and I was alone. I managed to drop the side of the gown into the toilet and now I have a wet gown and toilet water running down my leg. The nurse had to come in and help; it was a snap-type gown and I couldn't handle changing myself with one hand all bandaged up and an IV in the other. So there I was standing with my diaper on and toilet water down my leg into my hospital slipper-sock while she changed my gown. Not my best moment.
Author:  JDinVirginia [ Tue Nov 14, 2023 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
ILuvLA, I can so relate to all you have said. Please vent away. We all need to do that sometimes. Some days are just "downers." But, it gets better.

--John
(double incontinent)
Author:  ILuvLA [ Tue Nov 14, 2023 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
Thanks all. Well, quick update. I'm over my self-pity party. Funny how these feelings and emotions can be triggered. Can't even imagine what chronic depression must be like!

At any rate, back to *normal*. Thanks again!!!
Author:  sociologygeek [ Mon Dec 11, 2023 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
Ive been there, ILuvLa. In fact, a few months ago, i was in a pretty serious funk over my diapers. So weird. Usually so ubpbeat and positive about my incontinence. I think the fact that I was wetting so much I wasn't sure I had enough diapers on hand to get me through the night migh have been a factor.

Peace out!

Rob
Author:  wayne [ Mon Dec 11, 2023 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
ILuvLA wrote:
I’m just having one of those “days“. I really thought “*those days*” of feeling “depressed“ about incontinence were behind me. I was wrong. … I’m using you as my sounding board. A place to vent ...
I'm trying to avoid that feeling myself and just get through December. My urinary flow has gone back to nearly none and I've had to take antibiotics for a second bladder infection that I don't think completely went away in September. Back then, I had a stricture operated on and now need to go back to the urologist again (sigh). That means going through all that again, followed by yet another very uncomfortable week or two, with the catheter left in. I think I'd rather have a root canal!

And then I re-learned that I have to quit Chicken Milk (Eggnog) with rum. I had two glasses of my fav beverage recently, which gave me considerable cramping grief complete with vomiting for 4 hours (gastroparesis).

And as of a certain date in December, it marks 3 years now for my own incontinence. Some things have become more manageable/normal, others have not.

Hopefully ILuvLa, you're in better shape by now, even though Baltimore Ravens beat your LA Rams on Sunday in OT. :)
Author:  ILuvLA [ Tue Dec 12, 2023 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
wayne wrote:
ILuvLA wrote:
I’m just having one of those “days“. I really thought “*those days*” of feeling “depressed“ about incontinence were behind me. I was wrong. … I’m using you as my sounding board. A place to vent ...
…

Hopefully ILuvLa, you're in better shape by now, even though Baltimore Ravens beat your LA Rams on Sunday in OT. :)


:lol: Well I don’t track football like I used to, but I am in “better shape” now. Funny how I wear glasses (an aid to living) but they don’t affect me other than inconvenience every now and then. But a diaper?!? … well … As I previously stated, I am over my pity party. Back to living with the diaper “aid”.

Meanwhile, sorry you are having a bit of a spell during the holidays. Lord willing you will power through it all.

Thanks Wayne.
Author:  ILuvLA [ Tue Dec 12, 2023 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh My Gosh ... I can't believe I'm in this state ...
desertrat wrote:
ILuvLA wrote:
...and been only in diapers and seen by many in just that state..


Ugh. I get that.

I had hand surgery and afterwards couldn't urinate. They had to straight-cath me and something went wrong, … The nurse had to come in and help; it was a snap-type gown and I couldn't handle changing myself with one hand all bandaged up and an IV in the other. So there I was standing with my diaper on and toilet water down my leg into my hospital slipper-sock while she changed my gown. Not my best moment.


First, sorry for the late reply. Next: wow! So sorry you went thru that. Even though I’ve been in similar, they are just not fun at the moment. Nevertheless, we got through those situations. And we managed. And we moved on (at least I hope we did!).
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