www.incontinentsupport.org

I have been bladder incontinent for several years now. My family knows that I wear diapers and are just surprised that I handle it so well. I have the same ups and downs as everyone else but I have tried to get on with my life despite my incontinence. For me, wearing a diaper affords me the ability to lead a fairly normal life.

My brother-in-law recently had prostate surgery. He was assured that his lack of control would diminish or completely clear up after surgery. Before the surgery his doctor put him on Flomax but that was short lived as he had side effects. Post surgery,(six months) he still has bladder issues. He won't wear protection and insists on dealing with it on his own. He usually stays home as he doesn't want to be away from the bathroom. When we get him to go out to dinner he's constantly running for the restroom.

Now perhaps it's just me but I prefer to wear a diaper and enjoy life as much as I can. I am not frantically running for a restroom only to have a wetting accident before I get there. I don't have to make several unscheduled stops while driving or carry a urinal with me.

My brother in-law knows I wear a diaper but says he could never wear something that babies wear. I personally don't get it. I have tried to talk with him and let him know that there is nothing wrong with wearing a diaper for incontinence. I try to assure him that no one will know and most importantly, he will have a much higher quality of life without the added stress of trying to find a restroom.

I think it is a lot harder for people who suddenly become heavily incontinent to wear diapers. It is easier on the psyche for those who progressed to needing them. This is especially true for men who never had to wear anything absorbent between their legs. My only suggestion is try to give him a crash coarse in wearing protection. Try to coax him to just wear pull-ups and then if his condition does not improve in a month or two bring up the diapers. If that does not work, try to coax him to wear male guards.We all know he will have leaks and still need to constantly go to the bathroom with the guards but it sounds like he need to get mentally accustomed to wearing absorbent products so that is all I can think of doing. Hopefully he will agree to pull-ups. While pull-ups won't save him from needing to rush to the bathroom, they will save him from the embarrassment of wet pants. And like most of us, after pull-ups he will learn to accept that protection is an effective way to deal with the problem and be more inclined to try diapers to avoid having to rush to the bathroom. You should definitely buy him the first pack of pull-ups. A lot of people can not get the nerve to buy the first pack so that might also help. Don't expect him to immediately use it. He probably will not just throw it away and eventually use it after a few days of reflection.

I agree...6 months ago, i fought the idea of wearing anything except a guard.. i didn'nt want to give up my underwear.. but slowly, as i realized that guards were unreliable, and my incontinence got worse, i eventually became accustomed to wearing undergarments with underwear over them.. but then it came time to wear pullups when the undergarment straps got unconfortable.. then briefs when the pullups got flooded more than i liked them to.. it was a gradual process.. but now, im most comfortable in a brief 24/7, even though i'm not totally incontinent and can mostly make it to the toilet..but let me tell you, im really glad to be wearing a brief and not have to worry about where im pointing when that sudden accident does strike.. and, with max protection, i can choose whether i want to clench or just let go.. its a gradual thing.. I never wear regular underwear anymore..and frankly, i feel odd (not to mention unsafe and unprotected) doing so. Do i want to get out of diapers? Of course! But, if i do, it will take some getting used to wearing regular underwear again.. after wearing 24/7 for 3 months, its weird not to be wearing a diaper.. i feel and look weird in a pair of underpants.. the exact opposite was true of wearing a diaper 6 moths ago..how ironic! Anyway, my point is, it does take time, and mental adjustment. It just becomes a part of life..and its impossible to rush the process.