www.incontinentsupport.org

I have tried most of the top brands of disposables and had issues. I’m between sizes for most manufacturers. I’m a little too big for mediums but large’s engulf me and don’t seal well. I have wet my pants in public several times because the diapers don’t fit well. It’s extremely troubling. I have very heavy bladder and bowel leakage. I decided a few months ago to try cloth. I wear heavyweight prefolds with a tri-folded gauze flat diaper as an insert. It suits my needs and is incredibly absorbent for my heavy incontinence. I don’t have to change when out till I get home in most cases and it allows me greater flexibility and freedom. The cloth is more comfortable and doesn’t break down in the heat. But the cloth is very bulky. The disposable was thinner but I had leaks and problems with getting a seal. I have some health problems that effect my nervous system and I don’t sweat. So I wear light clothing to keep as cool as possible in the summer heat. Heavy black jeans and dark long shirts can cause me to have a heat related illness. This has happened before and I ended up in the ER getting IV fluids. So I do the best I can at concealment. But I’m under no illusion that the bulk of my protection shows through. I don’t know what else to do. I ask my wife about my wardrobe and she says yes or no. But I can only do so much. I just try not to worry about it and dress as conservatively as I can. But concealment is not always 100% possible. Lines do show through. It’s kinda like a darned if I do or don’t. I just do what’s best for me. I have never been confronted about my issues. I’d rather have the bulk then wet clothes.

I generally wear a premium disposable when out and about, but will also wear cloth occasionally. I gave up on going to great lengths to be "unnoticeable," so to speak. I wear a pants/shorts a size larger than I need and an untucked shirt and roll with it. No one has ever said anything, except my wife who (for example) has reminded me to change the angle I am sitting so it doesn't look like I have a softball in my crotch. If I'm just working around the house or will be home for a long period, I will typically double up on cloth diapers and add a booster. This results in a lot of bulk, but we don't usually get unannounced company, so I don't worry about it. We regularly interact with the neighbors when they are out in the yard, however, and they have never mentioned it.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

You are not alone in finding yourself in between sizes I too often have that issue, medium fits but a bit tight and Large fits bit is too big, I usually tend to go large as I feel for me that larger wings that can wrap around are better and the excess length can be folded down a bit. I have never been able to get comfortable with cloth products both the extreme bulk and the constant feeling of being wet but if they work for you that's great, I think the best action to hide the bulk is like others have said wearing pants a few sizes large allow the fabric to flow over the bulk and is harder to see also wearing an untucked shirt also helps disguise it. usually, most people don't seem to notice or care about such things unless its really noticeable and cloth products can easily to reach that point.

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Bulk.... I believe that bulk depends on the type (and overall thickness) of the garment. It also depends on your body shape and choices in clothing, as well as other likely factors that escape me at the moment.

I'm barely five feet tall and very slender (small waist, wider hips, but very small butt). I have a full top which combined with my wide hips and small butt actually helps me to conceal 'bulk'. Let me explain...

Though I use disposable products quite a bit, my 'normal' and highly preferred protection is cloth. The thickness of the cloth diapers (usually double) adds the fullness to my skinny butt, making it appear a more 'normal' profile. Because my hips are wide and my legs quite slender, the gap at the top is quite wide, allowing for the bulk of the diapers at the crotch a place to go, resulting in a very normal silhouette and walk.
I'm nearly always in a dress or skirt and top so that adds yet another buffer. I choose prints and nearly never solid colors as they tend to show irregularities. I also usually wear a compression brief of some type to keep things in place and cut noise.
When I wear jeans, shorts, slender fashions for nights out, I usually choose disposable diapers or combos.
I've been sick lately and have actually dropped a little weight, which has affected the way my clothes fit.

You make a great point about body type. As my wife says, I have "no butt," so it is probably easier for me to conceal the bulk back there.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

While we would rather not bulge, we should remember the old adage that it is better to bulge than to leak!

--John

I'm 5'2" and have a fairly round butt from years of gym and deadlifting >.<
I pretty much only wear camo cargo pants now (used to be in my rotation with blue jeans etc...) but still fairly conscious of my rear end showing too much.
When I'm around town I wear a fairly discrete Tranquility with boosters or a Blue Molicare with booster placed between my legs and not at the front or back. For some reason Molicares seem to be bulgy at the front :/
When I'm flying somewhere, all bets are off and I don't care about any bulk showing.

I deal with bulk by wearing pants that are a size or two larger than I wore before I became incontinent. I wear loose shirts and bulky sweaters, in appropriate weather, to disguise the outline of my protection. Summer, when such garments are inappropriate, offer a challenge. Fortunately, I live in the mountains, so really hot days only happen maybe six or seven times each summer.

I live in Florida. It gets really hot here in the summer. The sun can be brutal. I try to stay out of the sun during the mid-day. Try to at least. I generally wear dry-fit cargo shorts in the warmer months. They wick moisture. I wear light t-shirts in public or tank tops around the house. I never tuck my shirt in unless I’m at a more formal event. I wear my pants a size or two larger with a belt. The manufacturer of my cloth diapers told me when I bought them that based on my level of incontinence, I would require a heavy weight diaper. He was right but I still needed more absorbency. He told me with that thickness, people would be able to tell. And if I was that self conscious, don’t buy them. But they are the only thing absorbent enough for my needs. To make them that way, I bought gauze flats from ACD in size 36x36 for day and 44x44 for night. I take the flat and fold it into 3rds and 4ths. People who use flats may know it as a “pad” fold. I lay that in the center. With the 44x44, which I use for sleeping, I do the same only I have extra material in the front which I fold in and down. These are 4 ply flats. So when I fold them, they end up being 12+ layers thick plus the thickness of the diaper and plastic pants. They are incredibly absorbent and have never leaked despite hours of wear. With my medical needs, there’s probably not much more I can do. My wife says it’s not that bad. It’s just looks a little “poofy” like I have a big butt. Which I don’t. I’m still a little self conscious. I find myself looking in the mirror to see how I look. When I sit, the front of my shorts puffs up with extra diaper material. That’s a futile battle I won’t win. I can’t do anything about the excess material. I tried compression shorts once and they hurt my skin. The waistband of the shorts compressed the waistband of my plastic pants and caused irritation and pain. Haven’t done it since. I do have a couple onesies but they’re not tight and don’t help with bulk. I don’t like constricting clothing. I have just resided to the fact that it is what it is. People are bound to notice. So far, nobody has said a word. I’ve never heard anyone laugh at me. I’m not sure how many people are staring at my backside. I pretty much exclusively cloth as disposables aren’t absorbent enough. I wear them everywhere. ER’s, doctors appointments (even ones where I have to undress), and I even wore them camping (that took some planning). So far, nobody has commented. It must not be a big deal.

In reality, most people don't look for or notice the bulk of the whatever protection we use, But they would notice any leaks this is just a source of anxiety we don't need and best to let go if are able, it is just not worth the stress we give ourselves.

_________________
Incontinence does not Define NOR limit you!
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