www.incontinentsupport.org

Diapers, Pullups, Briefs, Underwear, ??What do you suggest??

As the owner of NorthShore, a website and brand for incontinence supplies, one of the top complaints we get from people is that it's too confusing to figure out the different styles of products based on the euphemisms used on the packaging and websites. Endless surveys have shown this confusion to be one of the many barriers people new to the market face with getting started with the right products. It's extremely common for people to order "briefs" and then be terribly insulted when we ship them "diapers" when they were expecting "pullups". Those are the words that people tell us almost every time this happens which is an every day occurrence for us, but more importantly delays the needed supplies from arriving and adds costs and hassle to return, etc... along with embarrassment.

I also get hate-mail from people, mostly nurses, but not exclusively, that are very upset when they see the word "diaper" or phrase "adult diapers" on our website. We try to use it selectively, but nurses are trained for decades never to say the word "diaper" to a patient as "diapers are for babies" and we want to treat them as "adults".

Other problems exist like confusion over the words briefs. For 30 years Depends used the word "Briefs" on it's tab-style diapers, but then switched a few years ago to exclusively using "Briefs" on its pullup style underwear.

What do you suggest for a company like us? What would you like to see on our website or packaging? Are you offended if we use the word "diapers", even for tab-style briefs? I notice that "diapers" is far and away the most common term used on this and many other forums, but is it too stigmatized to put on packaging? Does it bother you if you see it on our site? The reason we use it on the site, but not yet on packaging, is that by far the vast majority of searches on google or on our site include "diapers" in the search bar. even when searching for pullups, most people type "pullup diapers" or "adult pullup diapers". If we don't use the word diapers on our site then we won't show up very high in search results and people won't find our products. Almost nobody that's new to buying ever uses the word "briefs" in their searches. They have to "learn" to use that word for tab-style diapers for some brands and pullup underwear for other brands. Oy vey!

We want to be as helpful as possible to help people better find the right products for them earlier as well as be sensitive to the stigma issues around the word diapers. It would be great if we could all just say "So what, diapers are just another type of underwear" but we don't seem to be ready for that yet. Does the fact that no doctor or nurse or pharmacist or packaging uses the word diapers help ease the stigma, or make it worse be reinforcing the taboo? I had one customer tell me "Every time I reach into bag to put on another diaper, and I see the bag says Briefs, it upsets me that it's so taboo and makes me feel more like it's my fault." Does that ring true with anyone. Perhaps you feel the opposite. I know there's no universal right way to approach this sensitive topic.

Any and all feedback is appreciated. I am eager to make any improvements we can to help people feel more "normal" and better find the products the need. Think about when you first started out and the struggles you may have gone through, if any, to find the right products.

Thanks in advance to all for sharing.

Sincerely,
Adam

that is a tough situation. I have never done a search using the word brief. always diaper.
it seems the medical field is wishy washy as well. when my dad was in hospice with ALS the Filipino Nurses
would always ask him if he needed a new Diaper while the others always said brief. he didnt care what they called
it. he just wanted to be clean and dry. at Least with my Experience with incontinence I was able to ship
quality "briefs" to the facility for his use. I was shipping AirSupremes from amazon right to the place.
.
I have seen the Amazon Reviews where folks complain about being sent diapers when they ordered briefs. even to the point that
because the picture showed a diaper that was taped up it looked like a pullup.,

maybe you could stick with a description that includes Tape on Diapers/Briefs and then Pullon Diapers/Briefs.

this forum and the Simon Foundation before this place put me in the right direction on what I needed to handle my situation

on the positive side if you search adult diaper currently Northshore is at the top of google search,.,,

I am personally not offended by using the word "diaper". It took me a while to get use to saying it out loud, but in time it does get easier. I guess, I feel call it what it is. Diapers have tapes/pins that are attached at ones side. Pull ups are also diapers, but just put on differently. I can't see confusing the terminology. People will call them what they want to anyway.

Very tough question. Just doing a search on different types of women's/men's underwear reveals the below types. Which type is right for the situation and what do you feel comfortable wearing is the big question. To the person who is first thrown into this they just know the word diaper. I'm not really sure of a better way to say what they are, but will think of a better way to say it.

lingerie/panties/underwear/briefs/boxer briefs/trunks/boxers/jockstraps/bikinis/long underwear/g-strings

So you're not offended by "diaper" being used, but took a while to accept that you needed "diapers" on a regular basis? Kind of the pride hit of admitting you had lost control of this function? If the first time you searched for "adult diapers" you found a website that sold "adult diapers" and products labeled as "diapers", would that have made it easier to get used to wearing diapers or more difficult?

Think of a less stigmatized condition like asthma. People need inhalers to assist. Your doctor prescribes an inhaler, you order inhaler, it's accepted that people with asthma need inhalers and you have no problem telling people out load that you need to take your inhaler. And nobody judges you for needing an inhaler that it's somehow your fault. The goal is to work towards this scenario for diapers and incontinence too.

If we got the whole industry to adopt new standards so all products changed to same packaging and labelling at same time, what would be easiest for people to understand and also accept from stigma standpoint. Remember that "pullups" is trademark of Kimberly-Clark although does seem to be commonly used for whole category of undewear-style diapers so maybe they'll eventually get challenged as too commonly used like Kleenex. but for now, it's not possible for any others to use at all in marketing...

This is a very tricky situation, while it is very important to be clear about the nature of these products, we also need to keep in mind that diaper stigma is very real. Someone that is very new to dealing with what can be a traumatic change may not be very accepting of using a "diaper" , even though they may recognize that that's what they are using. Heck I've been dealing with this for years and sometimes I still have trouble calling them what they are. Ending diaper stigma won't happen overnight, so my suggestion would be to make the change slowly. Start by calling them "tape on briefs/diapers" or "absorbent underwear/pull on diapers"
This way you are still being clear about what they are, while still giving people an alternative name to call them if they are not yet ready to call them what they are. And hopefully people will get used to calling a diaper a diaper, and not have to resort to using alternative names in an effort to not offend anyone.

Seems like you are between the proverbial rock and a hard place. I like the suggestions of "tape on brief/diaper" and "pull-on or pull-up" or something along those lines. For my purposes, I prefer "diaper" to "brief" for a couple reasons: it virtually eliminates confusion and it can help with acceptance (if you need a diaper, there is no sugar coating it by saying "brief"). It seems to me, using euphemisms ("briefs") to lessen the impact of the situation also serves to slow acceptance, which by extension hinders one's ability to get on with their lives. Also, I am probably in the minority here, but I hate the term "pull-up" and would much rather be in a diaper. Weird, I know...

I am, however, keenly aware of the stigma associated with incontinence and the various products associated with it. I watched as my father became something of a recluse the last couple of otherwise "good" years he had because he was too embarrassed to wear protection and often refused to leave the house for fear of having an accident. I'm sure that played a part in my acceptance of my situation and my resolve to put on a diaper and continue with my life.

Just my two cents. Thanks for the opportunity to chime in, and thanks for providing excellent "diapers" with great prices and service!

_________________
"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Great question Adam! The terminology that the various companies use to label their incontinence products is quite confusing, especially for someone new to incontinence.

To me (with regard to regular non-protective underwear) the word "Briefs" has always meant a medium to high rise pull-on style garment. Even the generic term "underwear" conjures up the same vision in my mind. Other terms like Lo-Rise, Bikini, Thong, G-String seem descriptive enough and in my mind leave little room for confusion as to the style of underwear being described.

But with regard to protective garments it's a whole other thing. The various companies label their products very inconstantly. For example Depends labels all of their pull-on style products as "Briefs", and I think that would make sense to most people. But then there is their "Adjustable Underwear" which I would think is a pull-up style but it has velcro tabs. At least to their credit, the style and tabs are clearly shown on the front of their package. Likewise their other similar product "Protection with Tabs" is labeled as "Briefs with Adhesive Tabs" and again clearly shown that way on the package. But I'm sure to many the use of the term "Briefs" is confusing since it's used to describe two very different types of their protective garments.

I can only speak for myself here but to me when referring to incontinence products "Briefs" (or the less desirable "Underwear") is a pull-on style, and a tape style is a "Diaper". I too fully understand the unfortunate stigma surrounding the word "Diaper" and here is my only suggestion to get around using that word to describe a tape style garment. I think the term "Protective Garment" might be able to be used. It is a bit generic but at least it doesn't directly conjure up a pull-up style garment.

When it comes to the various pads there is also some confusion in terms but for the most part I think that in the advertising it is critical to clearly indicate that the item is a flow through type or a containment type pad. After that it's really only a matter of capacity which is another can of worms in itself. The "number of drops" system is again all over the place and the various technical systems don't really reflect what an everyday user can expect to experience. I will say that Northshore does a very good job of accurate descriptions in this area.

And finally, with my Wife and online I use the terms pull-ups and diapers. However when speaking with friends I use what I consider to be the most socially acceptable and immediately understandable term "Depends". Why, it's my way of reducing the impact on both parties by not throwing an "uncomfortable" word in their face. It's also because unless specifically asked, it's really all they need to know and other more descriptive terms could easily be TMI (To Much Information). Sometimes I do feel that by using the now nearly generic term "Depends" I'm not doing anything to reduce the stigma attached to the word diaper but I guess I'm just not the rebel type. Hope this helps a bit.

Yes, I also watched my father struggle with acceptance of incontinence. When it was lighter from prostate issues, he just coped because he would never go to the local store. When he was in hospice for brain cancer, and there was no choice, he couldn't say the word "diaper" and just called them "pads" and shook his head. These moments were very influential in me starting this company, among others. It affects just about every family at one time or another.

Yes, I agree that using euphemisms helps reduce short term anxiety, but can lead to long term depression and does nothing to break the taboo that makes the whole situation much scarier then it needs to be. I can't think of an example where it has helped reduce taboo for health issues. Think "c-a-n-c-e-r" (whisper) in the 60s or HIV/AIDS in the 80s. It takes the average person years to start using "diapers" and that's years of anxiety and restricted living and missed medical appointments that really affects quality of life. Somehow we need to break the taboos that "diapers are for babies only" or "diapers are dirty, etc...". We should be able to move past that and treat people with dignity regardless of their health condition.

Seems to me that calling a diaper a diaper would go a long way by making it so commonly used that it was no longer a secret that adults and teens often need diapers. The more we hear something the more we get used to it, the less taboo it is. There must be other ways we can alleviate the initial fears of diagnosis and acceptance of this condition then by talking around it instead of about it.

I see your point and you're probably right, I know that I have definitely experienced the anxiety and depression that go along with dealing with incontinence, and this continued even after I started using diapers. Perhaps it is time that we rip the bandaid off quickly so to speak, start calling a diaper a diaper. We can be the facilitators of change and really end the stigma once and for all.
Maybe we can best help those that are new to this by showing them that this isn't the end, that you can go on and live a full and active life even while using diapers. I seem to remember some other manufacturers doing "real stories" but those always seem to focus on people that need much lighter protection, and they never seem to address the diaper issue. Maybe by doing something similar would be helpful.
And before I forget, thank you so much Adam for all that you and your company have done.