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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 2:23 pm 
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Padded53,

I'm not a doctor, but the symptoms of your friend fits the description of "urge incontinence". The condition may remain stable and your friend may accept his condition as "normal" and be content living his current lifestyle. If he's "OK" with that, so be it,..it was his decision. However, there may come a time when he realizes his frequent bathroom visits are affecting his lifestyle and seek medical help. That's ALWAYS the first step, especially with his past medical condition.

Your friend's current lifestyle would not work for me,...but everyone is different.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:57 am 
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I agree that each person has to come to terms with their incontinence and what works best for their lifestyle.
The other aspect of urge incontinence is the discomfort of urgency. For me the discomfort and pain of holding it in is part of the urgency/urge incontinence.
When I say "I can't make it to the bathroom", often its because the intense discomfort of holding it in becomes too unbearable and I can't clench anymore. The urgency comes in waves with each wave getting stronger and more frequent. I don't want to speak for other people but thats my personal experience with urgency and urge incontinence. Thats how I would describe my urge incontinence when this problem first started.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:14 am 
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Fiacs,

For obvious reasons, I don't feel your urge or pain. All I can suggest is do the best you can and be happy with your decision. If your happy with how things are going for you, GREAT! That's all that counts, but if you're not satisfied then you should consider making some adjustments in your lifestyle. If your already incontinent and wearing a diaper why put yourself through a discomfort, or painful event? Bottom line,...be happy, not sad because you're a bathroom slave, or have bouts of discomfort and/or experience pain. Your choice,...

Just my thoughts.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 3:41 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:59 am
Posts: 380
Location: Florida
I don't know if using "diapers" necessarily means that you will automatically need to rely on them more. While I think that is a very possible action, because the longer you rely on them to manage your incontinence especially once you start using the better "premium" products you will get more comfortable wearing them and think less about it and just live out your life. Personally, there has been a very distinct progression of my incontinence as I aged, and when I started wearing them 24/7 nearly 17 years ago (I really struggled to avoid that) but pads were no longer working during the day and just trying to reach a toilet in time really negatively affected my quality of life. Based on your post I tried to think back if there is any chance that my progression since my started wearing 24/7 has changed? The answer for me would be maybe, I no longer rush to a bathroom anymore but that is because I no longer feel any urges that my bladder is full, is that because of my diaper use? no there are connections to my health for the loss of sensations, So I don't think that for me the progression of my incontinence is tired to the use of diapers but my use of diapers have really changed my life (for the better).

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:24 pm 
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johnstone wrote:
Fiacs,

Like you, I too have been incontinent (incon) for several years. My incon is caused my spinal nerve damage that became worse over time pretty much like what you described. I recall using the bathroom several times a day and to say it was 10, or more would probably be about right. Any time I had leakage (generally small volume) because I was using the bathroom so often I would change the diaper. Sometimes I would have floods, so using a full matted disposable diaper made the most sense because I didn't want to be out and about and have an accident with wet pants.

I can relate to what said. For me, I was slowly losing more control and felt I was a slave to the bathroom. Something needed to change. There are a LOT of things the doc's (urologist included) don't tell those that become incon. I DID have one urologist tell me that he knew very little about incon products. He said he went to college to learn about "urology" and never learned anything about incon products. Lesson learned, don't expect any urologist to give good advice about incon products. The only way they learn about incon products is from patient feedback which may, or may not be helpful.

I must have been using 10 diapers a day in the beginning, or so it seemed. Refastening the taps after using the bathroom didn't always work well. All the manufacture of disposable diapers tout their refastenable tapes but few work as well as described. Before I came to this website, I had to learn what products worked best by trying several different products,..... it was an expensive education.

Eventually, I gave up being a slave to the bathroom. Using the bathroom several times a day helped to a certain degree (less volume), but I didn't like being a slave, and I was still changing the diaper several times a day. I GAVE UP,....I went to timed diaper changes generally ever 6 hrs except for night. Whatever happened in between those changes happened. I was slowly losing what little control I had so I didn't worry about it. When I realized I was no longer a slave to the bathroom it felt like someone took 1,000 lbs off my shoulders when I went to timed diaper changes. Sure, I had some guilt feelings in the beginning because I was making little to no effort to use the bathroom and really didn't care. I have "Urge" incontinence. There were many times when I wet myself when I might have made to the bathroom if I ran but most the time that didn't work. By the time I got to the bathroom and tried to unfasten the diaper tabs the diaper was already wet.

Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. When your already incon, who cares if you use the diaper? When was the last time your urologist asked you if you might have made it to the bathroom in time but chose to use the diaper instead? If you do some research on the Internet you will find it is VERY COMMON for incon people using a diaper to become diaper dependent and only occasionally use the bathroom for those that are mobile.

I have no shame..., and I have no guilt. To this day, I change at certain times of the day and don't worry about what happens in between. Don't worry about it. If you don't care, WHO DOES? One thing I KNOW for certain, you undoubtedly feel better NOT worrying about making it to the bathroom in time and being a slave to the bathroom any more because you used the diaper,....am I right?

Like I said, everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. Don't worry about using your diaper 24/7.

Just my thoughts hope this helps.


Thanks for posting this. Its some good perspective as to why being a "bathroom slave" sucks and something I needed to read. I'm an older member whose issues became much more manageable for a while but are creeping up again recently and this whole thread was some helpful insight into this.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:08 pm 
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Food for thought.
I recently read about a technique used to treat bedwetting. It involves strengthening the bladder muscles by holding the urine for progressively longer periods of time (within reason) so that the need to urinate also increases at night.
Each individual has to decide what is best for themselves


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 10:01 pm 
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fiacs wrote:
Food for thought.
I recently read about a technique used to treat bedwetting. It involves strengthening the bladder muscles by holding the urine for progressively longer periods of time (within reason) so that the need to urinate also increases at night.
Each individual has to decide what is best for themselves

Are those kegel exercises or is it something else?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2018 7:38 pm 
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I understand that this is different.
Kegels involves repeatedly contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles.
I am describing a practice that involves holding in your urine for gradually longer periods of time to promote continence. My disclaimer is that I tried it and it didn't work for me. After feeling the sensation to urinate, I would typically need to urinate within 30min before having an accident. My goal would be to hold it in for 60min. I would try to increase that duration to 35min, then 40min, then 50min then 55min and then 60min. However, after 35min I usually had an accident. After trying this exercise for several days, I gave up this practice.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:07 pm 
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Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
fiacs wrote:
I understand that this is different.
Kegels involves repeatedly contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles.
I am describing a practice that involves holding in your urine for gradually longer periods of time to promote continence. My disclaimer is that I tried it and it didn't work for me. After feeling the sensation to urinate, I would typically need to urinate within 30min before having an accident. My goal would be to hold it in for 60min. I would try to increase that duration to 35min, then 40min, then 50min then 55min and then 60min. However, after 35min I usually had an accident. After trying this exercise for several days, I gave up this practice.


I remember trying that too... I wish it had worked.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:10 am
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Location: San Diego area
Thank you for sharing your experience. I really agree that it is easy to become a slave to the bathroom. After my prostatectomy I tried for a couple of years to achieve urinary continence but obviously couldn't. I wore guards mostly and when I tried something as light as a shield, I discovered that I was actually pretty incontinent. To avoid the accidents I was having and deal with the problem of stress/urge incontinence that had me running to the bathroom at awkward moments I switched to Depends Fit Flex about 1.5 years ago and haven't looked back. What I quickly discovered was how often I was running to the bathroom or would, when traveling somewhere look for restrooms first. Wearing my Depends has meant that I can relax and be normal. That has meant my incontinence has 'worsened' some with time but I think that most of that is giving up the inhibition to peeing. Things have stabilized for the most part though I have been using more absorbent diapers, Prevail Extended Use, at night so I don't have to run to the bathroom if I start overflowing my Depends brief.
Therefore, I am happy with my current state even though my dependence on incontinence products has increased.


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