johnstone wrote:
Fiacs,
Like you, I too have been incontinent (incon) for several years. My incon is caused my spinal nerve damage that became worse over time pretty much like what you described. I recall using the bathroom several times a day and to say it was 10, or more would probably be about right. Any time I had leakage (generally small volume) because I was using the bathroom so often I would change the diaper. Sometimes I would have floods, so using a full matted disposable diaper made the most sense because I didn't want to be out and about and have an accident with wet pants.
I can relate to what said. For me, I was slowly losing more control and felt I was a slave to the bathroom. Something needed to change. There are a LOT of things the doc's (urologist included) don't tell those that become incon. I DID have one urologist tell me that he knew very little about incon products. He said he went to college to learn about "urology" and never learned anything about incon products. Lesson learned, don't expect any urologist to give good advice about incon products. The only way they learn about incon products is from patient feedback which may, or may not be helpful.
I must have been using 10 diapers a day in the beginning, or so it seemed. Refastening the taps after using the bathroom didn't always work well. All the manufacture of disposable diapers tout their refastenable tapes but few work as well as described. Before I came to this website, I had to learn what products worked best by trying several different products,..... it was an expensive education.
Eventually, I gave up being a slave to the bathroom. Using the bathroom several times a day helped to a certain degree (less volume), but I didn't like being a slave, and I was still changing the diaper several times a day. I GAVE UP,....I went to timed diaper changes generally ever 6 hrs except for night. Whatever happened in between those changes happened. I was slowly losing what little control I had so I didn't worry about it. When I realized I was no longer a slave to the bathroom it felt like someone took 1,000 lbs off my shoulders when I went to timed diaper changes. Sure, I had some guilt feelings in the beginning because I was making little to no effort to use the bathroom and really didn't care. I have "Urge" incontinence. There were many times when I wet myself when I might have made to the bathroom if I ran but most the time that didn't work. By the time I got to the bathroom and tried to unfasten the diaper tabs the diaper was already wet.
Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. When your already incon, who cares if you use the diaper? When was the last time your urologist asked you if you might have made it to the bathroom in time but chose to use the diaper instead? If you do some research on the Internet you will find it is VERY COMMON for incon people using a diaper to become diaper dependent and only occasionally use the bathroom for those that are mobile.
I have no shame..., and I have no guilt. To this day, I change at certain times of the day and don't worry about what happens in between. Don't worry about it. If you don't care, WHO DOES? One thing I KNOW for certain, you undoubtedly feel better NOT worrying about making it to the bathroom in time and being a slave to the bathroom any more because you used the diaper,....am I right?
Like I said, everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. Don't worry about using your diaper 24/7.
Just my thoughts hope this helps.
Thanks for posting this. Its some good perspective as to why being a "bathroom slave" sucks and something I needed to read. I'm an older member whose issues became much more manageable for a while but are creeping up again recently and this whole thread was some helpful insight into this.