www.incontinentsupport.org

Over the years my incontinence has changed. It started as infrequent urge incontinence with floods. Several times a day I would experience severe urgency and not make it to the bathroom. That prompted me to wear diapers 24/7 just in case however I did not use them 24/7. I would maybe have an accident once a day. Then it was twice a day. Like many of you, once you wear 24/7, you start to use the product more often. Slowly with time I went from using the toilet sometimes to not at all. Also the incontinence has changed. It is more frequent and the volume is less each time. It makes we wonder whether my incontinence would have stayed the same if I wore less protection instead of getting too comfortable wearing diapers 24/7. I never anticipated that I would transition from occasional floods to frequent dribbling.
At this point I don't think I can go back to increasing my bladder volume because my urologist says my bladder volume is significantly less on urodynamic testing.

Fiacs,

Like you, I too have been incontinent (incon) for several years. My incon is caused my spinal nerve damage that became worse over time pretty much like what you described. I recall using the bathroom several times a day and to say it was 10, or more would probably be about right. Any time I had leakage (generally small volume) because I was using the bathroom so often I would change the diaper. Sometimes I would have floods, so using a full matted disposable diaper made the most sense because I didn't want to be out and about and have an accident with wet pants.

I can relate to what said. For me, I was slowly losing more control and felt I was a slave to the bathroom. Something needed to change. There are a LOT of things the doc's (urologist included) don't tell those that become incon. I DID have one urologist tell me that he knew very little about incon products. He said he went to college to learn about "urology" and never learned anything about incon products. Lesson learned, don't expect any urologist to give good advice about incon products. The only way they learn about incon products is from patient feedback which may, or may not be helpful.

I must have been using 10 diapers a day in the beginning, or so it seemed. Refastening the taps after using the bathroom didn't always work well. All the manufacture of disposable diapers tout their refastenable tapes but few work as well as described. Before I came to this website, I had to learn what products worked best by trying several different products,..... it was an expensive education.

Eventually, I gave up being a slave to the bathroom. Using the bathroom several times a day helped to a certain degree (less volume), but I didn't like being a slave, and I was still changing the diaper several times a day. I GAVE UP,....I went to timed diaper changes generally ever 6 hrs except for night. Whatever happened in between those changes happened. I was slowly losing what little control I had so I didn't worry about it. When I realized I was no longer a slave to the bathroom it felt like someone took 1,000 lbs off my shoulders when I went to timed diaper changes. Sure, I had some guilt feelings in the beginning because I was making little to no effort to use the bathroom and really didn't care. I have "Urge" incontinence. There were many times when I wet myself when I might have made to the bathroom if I ran but most the time that didn't work. By the time I got to the bathroom and tried to unfasten the diaper tabs the diaper was already wet.

Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. When your already incon, who cares if you use the diaper? When was the last time your urologist asked you if you might have made it to the bathroom in time but chose to use the diaper instead? If you do some research on the Internet you will find it is VERY COMMON for incon people using a diaper to become diaper dependent and only occasionally use the bathroom for those that are mobile.

I have no shame..., and I have no guilt. To this day, I change at certain times of the day and don't worry about what happens in between. Don't worry about it. If you don't care, WHO DOES? One thing I KNOW for certain, you undoubtedly feel better NOT worrying about making it to the bathroom in time and being a slave to the bathroom any more because you used the diaper,....am I right?

Like I said, everyone has to do what they feel is best for them. Don't worry about using your diaper 24/7.

Just my thoughts hope this helps.

My story is similar as the two above except my incontinence has been caused by an enlarged prostate. At first I used very light protection and that worked for a while until my icon got progressively worse, and I was also having some nighttime bed wetting incidents. Finally instead of trying to second guess how much protection I would need and when, I too just found it easier to wear diapers 24/7. I wouldn't say that I'm now diaper dependent, but I have noticed that my frequency has increased and the volume significantly decreased, but now wearing a diaper 24/7 these are non-issues. Nonetheless my peace of mind has increased tremendously and at night I'm now sleeping like a baby. Yes diapers can be a significant inconvenience and expense to say the least, but I've learned to adapt and now hardly give them a second thought except for unusual situations. So as those above have said you need to do what works best for YOU!

I think your contributions are valuable to this community.
Our shared experiences are one of the main reasons why incontinence sufferers unfortunately are reluctant to transition from inadequate protection to diapers. And once you switch to diapers, it is fair to say that diaper usage will inevitably increase.
Yes, I no longer worry. I can live my daily life. It comes at a price.
It would be interesting to hear if anybody has not progressed.

Same thing happened to me. I think for many it is a catch 22 situation; especially for males. The only product that could handle a sudden whole bladder urge incontinence episode was an overnight diaper. It is a pain to take on and off and tends to fall apart. Using it gradually also reduces the chances of leakage to almost zero. Now a days I have to be thinking about it to even hold it and can only do so for like a minute. And I pee like every hour or two. So you are not alone and I also think it is very common.

Food For Thought:

Those that suffer "light" incontinence may be able to manage their incontinence with the use of pads, liners, or pull-up style protection. I highly encourage those type of people to frequent the bathroom as needed but DON'T become a bathroom slave in the process of managing their incontinence.

Anyone that has experienced what I describe as a "bathroom slave" can tell you it is a life changing experience you DON'T want, and the sacrifice is NOT worth the effort notwithstanding of all the anxiety that goes with those occasional accidents, clock watching, and/or frequent changes. My advice to anyone that is currently a bathroom slave needs to change their lifestyle and re-think what they are doing to themselves.

There is nothing shameful about using a "diaper" if the use of the diaper provides a better lifestyle. It took me a while to wrap my mind around the use of a diaper, but when I did, my entire lifestyle changed. In my opinion, anyone mentally aware of using a diaper for protection has experienced what I will describe as, "mental adjustment of diaper use". I'm certain those with "urge" incontinence can relate to what I'm saying. It takes time to adjust to the use of a diaper but when that adjustment is made there is a HUGE relief of anxiety.

I can't say enough about the meaning of these simple words, "Do What You Think Is Best For You".

After almost 4 years of being back in diapers for a Bladder issue I too have given up the fight to make it to the bathroom in time for the occasional times I would have made it as my diaper is never dry very long any ways so whats the point of stressing about finding a bathroom in-time.

Diapers are something we would all like to not need any more but if the worst medical issue we have in life is an incontinence issue then I can handle being back in diapers 24/7 for the rest of my life.

This concept of a "Bathroom Slave" reminds me of a very good friend of mine that went through radiation treatment for prostate cancer last year. We hang out together quite a bit and since his treatment I've noticed that he has to run to the bathroom what seems to be once an hour. In addition he has mentioned that he has to get up to use the bathroom 2-3 times a night. It's quite a contrast to me even though I'm the one that is technically incontinent. I only have to use the bathroom 2-3 times a day to change my diaper and I sleep straight through almost every night.

Even before his cancer treatment he knew about my condition and that I use diapers to deal with it. He was fine with that but I could tell that it was not something he would ever want to deal with, basically the "diaper stigma" thing. So then he has his radiation treatments and it has eliminated his cancer but left him running to the bathroom every hour or so. I've mentioned his "frequency" but he just sort of shrugs it off as if it's normal. I even once hinted that maybe he should use some protection to eliminate the frequent bathroom breaks but from his response I could tell that was a total non-starter and I didn't press the issue any further. So, who's the one that's being affected more by "incontinence"? I'd have to say that it's my "continent" Friend and not me the Diaper wearer.

The two different approaches that you mention are dry changing vs wet changing. Dry changing is changing whenever you have an accident and staying dry as much as possible to maintain continence. Wet changing is accepting the fact that you will be wet and changing only when necessary.

"The two different approaches that you mention are dry changing vs wet changing. Dry changing is changing whenever you have an accident and staying dry as much as possible to maintain continence. Wet changing is accepting the fact that you will be wet and changing only when necessary".

Fiacs,

I agree with what you are saying but you have to remember there are many types of incontinence. If the loss is only a small dribble a pad, liner, or pull-up style protection may work fine with occasional trips to the bathroom. However, those people with urge incontinence suffer a different type of incontinence and have different needs. What it comes down to is the type of incontinence a person has and how they learn to best manage for their lifestyle.

There is no one fits all application here. People have different needs and different lifestyles. "Urge" incontinence is the worst type of incontinence, and it is a very common form of incontinence. Frequent small voids can become overwhelming to many and those people sooner, or later CAN degrees and experience what I call "bathroom slavery". When that happens, the continuous and frequent need to use the bathroom is NOT worth that type of lifestyle in my opinion. Some people may disagree, and for those that do fine, be a slave to the bathroom but that type of lifestyle is not for me. Some people never experience that level of incontinence (different needs) and for those people including myself that manage our incontinence via timed diaper changes makes perfect sense in managing our level of incontinence. I'm NOT a bathroom slave,...I'm in control, NOT my incontinence.

What works for me may not best for others. People have different needs and different lifestyles.

Do What You Think Is Best For You.