www.incontinentsupport.org

It has been 13 months since my surgery, and am still having incontinence issues at times. I can go quite a long time before feeling any urge to pee. I have thought, maybe I'm recovering. I will go unprotected at home at times, but that has not been all that successful. I'm to the point of giving in to diapers just in case. The anxiety of not knowing a good day from a not so good one is driving me a little crazy. How to the rest of you manage the uncertainty of your bladder control?

For a while now I have stopped worrying if I make it to the bathroom as most times now I have next to zero warrnings I need to pee and the bad days out number the good days. Managing my incontinence issues with diapers has not been as bad as I first thought it would be. Since giving into the fact I need diapers I have lost most of my remaining bladder control, but I am ok with it as my stress level is way down since I no longer need to worry about making the bathroom intime.

For me it was a simple but not easy solution, just wear appropriate protection 24/7. In my case the inconvenience and cost are well worth the reduction in anxiety. Here's something to be aware of though, since starting to wear 24/7 my incontinence has gotten worse. Clearly just wearing a diaper won't make you incontinent, and I'm not sure if it's due to my worsening BPH, unconsciously wetting since I know I'm protected, or just being a bit lazy and going whenever I need to. I suspect it's probably a combination of all three.

Like you, I used to try to base my protection on how I thought my bladder was going to act on any given day, but I soon realized the inconsistencies made it almost impossible to predict. This caused me great anxiety, as well, and after talking about it at length with my wife, we jointly made the decision to use diapers 24/7. We made the decision with the understanding that there would likely be no going back. It was the best decision I/we could have made in managing my situation while reducing my anxiety. I no longer worry about the possibility of getting a huge wet spot in public, or the almost panicked feeling of trying to find a restroom when that sudden overwhelming urge hits (and usually having an accident before I get there!). I can go about my daily life without worry, and remain just as active as I was before - just with a lot less anxiety.

Does it get frustrating at times? Yes, it does, but not often. It has become very routine for me at this point - pretty "normalized." To my knowledge, no one can tell I am wearing a diaper when I am out and about. Even a couple friends I have confided in say they can't tell, even though they know. At least in my case, the fears about wearing diapers have proven to be unfounded, and the reduced/eliminated anxiety has made it a great move for me. Good luck!

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Dp66, I have chronic prostatitis. The on/off incontinence symptoms you describe are very familiar to me. For me, the main symptoms are frequency, post-void dribbling, and post-void spasms. The spasms sometimes continue for thirty minutes after I use the restroom. Beginning in 2008, I started wearing a Depend brief when I was traveling. As my symptoms worsened, I switched to using them on as-needed basis. In 2015, a urologist exhorted me to wear protection only when I truly needed it. But I never developed a 100% accurate way of assessing what my level of need was going to be for a given day. A mostly clean morning could be followed by a messy afternoon. Like others here, I have resigned myself to wearing a Real Fit 24/7. I like these for two reasons: a) the provide the level of protection that I need and b) they do not provide more than I need. When I experimented with fitted briefs in 2016, my voiding habits really deteriorated. Personally, my goal is to continue with normal voiding habits for as long as this remains practical. I make one exception to this rule and that is nocturia. I cannot stand losing sleep because of nighttime frequency. Because of this, I have surrendered to prostatitis, and use my pull-up for small voids at night.