www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello All,
I decided I need some input from others with incontinence issues. I'm 61yrs old now and I think I'm beginning to see some problems. I've always had a less than normal bladder capacity and thru my life as I look back I usually had to find the restroom every hour or so to be comfortable. My job permitted free use of the restroom as needed so I never really saw a problem. If I needed to hold it, I could hold on for a couple hours and although a bit uncomfortable, I could do it.

15yrs ago I had what was then called a nervous breakdown. I had more things happen at once than I could cope with and ended up hospitalized. The following years introduced me to an endless stream of meds that had horrible side effects. Nausea, vomiting, clouded mind, diarrhea and yes, bladder incontinence. The real problem back then was night time and I ended up wetting several times a week without being conscious of it. Needless to say, I resorted to diapers. That was tough. My wife was a saint and totally backed me up. Due to the huge embarrassment and a mental state, I was having a hard time dealing with things, I never told the doctors about the problem.

It was around this time that night time bathroom calls began to increase to where they were becoming an issue in themselves. It happened at some point that while half awake and exhausted I relaxed and let the urge go. I wet only a bit and quickly fell asleep. This occurred several more times that night. I woke the next morning rested like I hadn't in weeks. I was really upset about the whole thing and discussed it with my wife. She was fine with the whole thing and said that my waking every hour was really a problem for her getting rest and that if a wet diaper was the only problem then life was better for the both of us. So, right or wrong I dealt with the problem by just letting the urge go and changed n the morning.

Now today there has emerged the beginnings of daytime problems. A recent vacation with air travel created situations where I ended up wetting. Only the fact that I was wearing very baggy shorts kept it a secret. My underwear was soaked. This happened every time I couldn't get to the bathroom when the urge hit.

I've done a ton of reading and this seems to be what most people call urge incontinence. When I get natures call it's not the gentle whisper that I need to pee. That's what it was years ago. Now It's Pee and PEE NOW! The sliding scale of urgency is gone. Added to this is the need to go hourly (on average). So I guess this is OAB. These problems have so gradually increased to where I can't say when they started

Here's my real problem. I dread the doctor. The time I was hospitalized I was diagnosed Bi Polar II. This condition has plagued me since youth. I now take meds that have totally relieved the problem. Due to the bi polar, years earlier I went to the doctor several time as was met with indifference and even anger. Once,the doc told me if the problems were so bad just quit my job. Yeah, right...
So now, here I am with another "uncomfortable" issue for the doc. What do I get this time. I don't think I can handle another moral outrage by the doc. Maybe I really don't have a problem. Maybe it's just me. Maybe this is all just nonsense. At this point I just can't say. All I know is I don't want to go on another vacation. I don't want to see another moral judge (physician). I don't want to be pushed prodded invaded humiliated or otherwise bent folded spindled or mutilated. So, where does one in mysituation go from here. Please. I need some input good or bad. Thanks a ton Ted

I guess the quick, easy, and totally non-professional advice is to purchase an inventory of diapers, both disposable and washable, and use them as needed. The examinations which a urologist is likely to order might give you better answers, but they are embarrassing; they can be painful, and they might not give the doctor the information necessary to effect a cure. Others here on psychiatric medications have noted that incontinence is a side effect that nobody told them could happen.

Years ago, a videocystourethrogram (an Xray video of my bladder filling and voiding) showed my bladder going into a painful spasm when four ozs. of saline had been instilled. My bladder's external sphincter had clamped shut, making the pain unbearable. The urologist was impressed, and when Botox shots no longer worked, gave me a sphincterotomy, which has given me blessed relief, at the cost of permanent urinary incontinence. I still get bladder spasms, occasionally painful enough to disturb my sleep, but, without the expletive deleted valve, they are bearable.

I do not suggest that our situations are in all ways similar; however, I do hope that there are enough points of contact to be useful.

Good luck.

Patrick has given you good advice. In the short term, you need to acquire and use diapers to manage your condition. However, although it is difficult, you also really need to see a urologist. You are at an age where prostate problems often cause continence problems for men. These problems can often be corrected with medication or surgery. And particularly if it turns out to be prostate cancer, you will need surgery to save your life.

Thanks folks for your replies. They mean a lot to me.
I should add that I have no pain. Just the tremendous pressure/discomfort that comes when your body tells you that you need to pee BAD.
When I was younger I'd notice this urge only slightly and as my bladder filled the urge would get more intense. If I waited long enough I'm sure the urge would become so intense that I would lose the battle to hold it. This never happened back then, though if I were dumb enough to wait that long it would have. (probably everyone else would too). Now, I experience the same sensations only they go from noticeable to overwhelming in a matter of less than a minute or so.

Also if I fight the urge I can overcome it and the urge goes away for anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes. When the urge hits this next time it is considerably stronger than the first time. If I can tough thru it again, the urge goes away for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and when it hits this time I just don't have the muscle strength to hold the pressure back. It's like trying to hold a heavy object up with your arms out. It's just a matter of time before you're overcome by the weight. When this happens I end up in a wrestling match with my bladder. The spasm presses, I press back and I end up with a "squirt". When this happens I overcome the urge for a second and then it hits again and there is another "squirt". This can happen several times in a matter of seconds and continue till it seems my bladder is satisfied that it no longer needs to void. I'll end up with pretty wet shorts sometimes. After the battle I can wait maybe 30 minutes and the whole scenario repeats itself as I'm sure I've only lost the liquid that pushed me over my limits.

I guess this is where I start to wonder if I do indeed have a problem at all. Its actually the way my body has worked all along. The only difference is that the time scale has been shrunk considerably to where it is very difficult to go about life without an accident. With this in mind, if I go to the doc do I get the condescending attitude from him and end up wishing I didn't bring it up? All of this makes it a big problem for me. But that doesn't make it a medical problem. Like I mentioned in my last post, I've had some very callous experiences from the medical profession and very few positive ones. Sadly, the only place I've really had any kind of compassion is in the mental health field. I read a post here where a member here made the lethal mistake of wearing protection to see the urologist for his first visit. I'm afraid of what would happen in if I were put in the same circumstances.

All this has brought with it tons of questions. Should I post those where they are more appropriate in other discussions or just continue this thread? Thanks again, Ted

I think you really need to find a urologist who will get to the bottom of this. We have all been in your shoes, and they are uncomfortable. The tests will be embarrassing, perhaps even painful, but necessary. Good luck and keep us informed.

Ted,

The big thing is to find a doctor you are comfortable with. Testing goes much easier if you trust your doctor. If not find one you can trust, its your body, so you choose your plan. Finding the right protection also takes time, hang in there. I have no control of my bladder and have filled my shoes more than once, so I understand. Were here to listen and give help were we can.

Mike

Ted,

Like everyone else has said, to find out what is really going on some test will have to be ran. Glad to hear you have a supportive wife. As for your fears of what a doctor might think, please set them aside. I have had that run in with one rude doctor, but that was just one out of the 4 or 5 I have seen. Since I get to use the VA, I really don't have a choice which doctor I see. I will tell you the other doctors and nurses just want to help and get to at least a cause of your issues. If that one rude doctor ever returns to the VA, I am more confident now about my situation and will tell him about how he made me feel years ago and then walk out of the office. It is your body and no doctor should make you feel bad about what it is doing to you. Yes, they have thrown medicine at me, but the side effects where worse than accepting the fact of wearing a diaper for protection. So I have been in diapers for awhile, but at least I know the cause of my incontinence and know it is not life threatening. I am glad I found this forum, as it has helped in so many ways. I can only hope it helps you along your journey for answers.

Plus, incontinence supplies can get expensive over time depending on what you need. By seeing a doctor and getting diagnose with what is going on, your insurance might pick up the tab or you will be able to claim them on your taxes.
Bruce

Thank you all for your support. I talked to my wife yesterday about setting up an appointment to see the doctor. We are currently without a GP so we're in the process of looking one up. I need to move fast on this before I lose my nerve and back out and hide the issue away. I also have a laundry list of other issues that need to be addressed. It's just they aren't so hard to discuss with the physician. Its funny how I can talk about numbness in my fingers and not wetness in my pants. It makes me wonder just how much we are emotionally damaged by the potty training years

I wanted to add. Yes, I do have diapers. When night time problems arose 15 years ago. I tried a number of disposables and had disastrous results. I finally turned to old fashioned cloth and plastic pants. They have never failed for the night time issues.
I really would like to consider disposables for daytime. But looking at different sites on the net just leaves me a bit confused. Like I mentioned earlier, I spent a lot of money on stuff that I just threw away. Seeing there are some seasoned veterans here, what are your personal choices. I'd prefer a more absorbent (but not necessarily insanely absorbent)diaper that still doesn't break the bank. Being somewhat overweight, I'm not overly concerned with how it hides under my clothes. Whatever I end up wearing would hide better than wet pants. Thank you all again, Ted

Deciding what protection works best for you is a matter of trial and error, sometimes lots of errors. One of my urologists insisted that I use external catheters. When I resisted, he wrote an order for enterostomal therapists to instruct me in the correct way to apply and use them. I did as told; after three hours the external catheter which the therapists had put on me came unglued, and I had one memorable accident. Nearly a liter (quart) of urine all over my living room floor. I went back to diapers. Live and learn. Good luck.