www.incontinentsupport.org

as i posted yesterday, ive been incontinent for about a month and have just started wearing diapers.
a friend is over and i had an accident and had to change my diaper.
he knows about whats going on and is supportive, but its really really embarassing.
how do you deal with this?
does it get easier?

It gets easier the more you have to do it. Before my wife could not even be in the next room if I had to change, now I just go in where she can't see me and change. Don't even think twice about it. The stigma though that I still have problems with is if we are out in town and I have to drag my bag into a store to change.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. Welcome to the incontinent club, were an elite group. Some people have an easier time accepting the need for diapers. I think it does get easier. At this point in my life, I just put a diaper on and get on with my life. I don't even think twice about it, most of the time I don't even remember that I have it on.

justej,

It does get better - but slowly. We both become more accepting of our medical situation and a little more hardened to the realities of life.

For me now, putting on a diaper is something I do almost without thought. Wearing a diaper, while a private matter, is not something I am ashamed of, although I do not advertise it.

However, as we are dealing with a very personal matter a little embarrassment remains when we have an accident around other people (at least that is the way with me).

I like pb&j's comment welcoming you to "an elite club" and will add my own!

--John

thanks everyone for the support.
i guess it will get easier, its just difficult right now as you said.
its a new learning curve!
its better than the alternative, though.

and thanks for the welcome to the club.
a club i never thought id be a part of!

I swear every time my friend comes over I have to change and have some sort of issue. Tonight my tabs ripped right after changing and I had to put a new one on. I fumbled around because I was embarrassed. I'm really self conscious in general and this just makes it worse.

Justej,

Assuming that you're dealing primarily with urinary incontinence, I wonder whether switching to a high-quality, high-capacity diaper would help. I deal with urge urinary incontinence that causes me to have several wetting episodes every day and every night. However, ordinarily an accident isn't much of a problem wherever or whenever it occurs because I wear a good, high-capacity diaper, an Abena Level 4. Under ordinary circumstances, one of those diapers will last me 8 to 10 hours during the day, during which time I'll have several "accidents" before I need to change. People who are around me when one of these events occurs never know what's happening, and I needn't do anything until the diaper approaches its capacity.

Of course, bowel accidents would be a different story because of the odour.

How is it that your friend is noticing? With the right protection it shouldn't be noticeable?

I can't stand being wet. Maybe it's just something I'm going to have to get used to. I leak pretty much all day and have surges.
I live in a one bedroom apartment and have another person staying with me for 2 more weeks while I recover from surgery. Because its hard to get around I stay in the living room and my friend (not the one that has been visiting the last two times) stays in the bedroom.
When he leaves it won't be too much of a problem, but as it is now all of my stuff is in the living room (diapers put away)
But I'm going to have to get used to the wetness I guess.