www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello,

Up until this morning, I was feeling upbeat and positive about dealing with this...and then after Mass this morning i go back to my apartment.. pick up a tena slip Maxi.. and stare at it.. and then I get depressed about the idea that I have to wear these AGAIN.. and doctors cant tell me why. Now, i think i could come to terms with it bettter if it was due to a car accident, or spina bifida.. you know, something definitive... but to have accidents in your childhood, then get dry.. and then have control issues again with no real reason other than neurogeinc bladder or stress..is a bit frustrating......

Don't get me wrong, im glad adult diapers exist... id be mortified to be in pubic witout one on..i just wish I didnt have to wear them....



Does anyone else go thru this deprression even while being mostly up beat?


Peace out,

Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Rob,

I think that dealing with incontinence is more marathon than dash. Although there is a sameness to so many days, each day can also be just enough different to catch us off guard if we relax. The depression is all too real, but finding reward in managing successfully can be uplifting. Keep posting. Keep us informed. And, never forget that incontinence does not define you, any more than it does any of the rest of us. Diapers belong on the same shelf as glasses, hearing aids, braces, canes, orthopedic shoes, and casts.

You are certainly not alone in feeling like this SG, I get the same thing here, the "Why can't I just have a normal bladder that I can trust, instead of THIS". Some days are far worse then others, but the up days outnumber the down ones, keep your head up, I look at the big picture of many others around me, and remind myself that it could be much worse then what I have to deal with, much, much worse. Believe me, I have attended mote then one Pity Party in my house! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Rob, dude, and all the rest of us...

It took me a long time to come to grips with the reality that I cannot trust my body. Sometimes my knee folds up on me. Other times, my bladder stops storing and just lets go. It is a part of life, and I have become accustomed to it. I know that bit of personal enlightenment does you no good, but perhaps you can simply look at it that way.

Think of it this way- growing old is not for the faint of heart. Be strong, keep the faith. Compared to what others face, this is nothing.

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- Tom

Rob, for me my bowel incontinence is the real emotional downer, not the diapers. I go through periodic emotional swings over the incontinence. Given my medical circumstance, good quality diapers enable me to go on with a nearly normal life. The diapers are my physical safety net, and, equally important, an emotional crutch.

--John

Puffy,

You are so right..Things could definently be worse... I'm still mobile..can walk.. dont ave any recurring health issues.. and the control issues for te most part are urinary..not bowel.. knock on wood... I don't think I could manage as well if i had to deal with that.. I know you do JD,but youve dealt with that for a few years.. I have the opposite problem...im quite often constipated.. which I learned recently is a side effect of the Ritalin LA I'm taking...

JD, you are an inspiration to me..even though we dont have the same issues exactly.. i admire your can do attitude..and ways of treating it..

Peace out!

Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Being incontinent and needing to wear protection are things that you can get used to. They become part of daily life that no longer elicit emotional arousal any more than choosing which shirt to wear or needing to brush your teeth. These adjustments come about when you accept that needing to wear protection is something that is going to be part of your life forever. Sociology Geek, I think a big part of your problem is that you have experienced a peried of incontinence followed by a long period of continence, and now you're back to being incontinent again. I hope you're able to return to continence, but the on-again, off-again nature of your problem is likely one of the reasons you find acceptance hard.

Rob, thanks for the kind words. Re acceptance and periodic emotional adjustment, I think that Inconimiss has nailed it.

--John

Yes, both of you raise excellent points. I don't know how much of this is caused psycologically and how much of it is physical, and how much is preventable by dropping everything or squeezing my pelvic floor. The hardest part is that its not consistent. while it lately does occur every day.. it did not for the past 4 years... and now its back.. not once but twice. I'm not going to the same lengths i did before in 2008.. I had urological and neurological testing up the wazoo.. and it invovled 5 hour trips to U of M. Nope, not going to happen this time. I have to be honest here... Intially i posted that i would do the biofeedback again..but lately.. it just seems like living with this would be a lot easier if it was consistent, predictible, and untreated.. That way, every day would be the same.. i wouldnt have false hopes of being permanently dry.. and id move on with my life. I was very close to reaching that point the last time I dealt with incontience. I had set the date of my college graduation as the cutoff point.. id either be wearing underwear.. or Abena Abri Form X-Plus.. and just moving forward with life diapered. Once you accept that the bladder is unreliable.. the worst part really is diaper rash and/or leaking.. which are both preventable by using quality products. Despite the disintergation problem.. i have found that wellness does an excellent job of keeping my skin dry.. or maybe its that my wetting isnt always a full void..

Another thing.. I have PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder.. and i tend to perseverate on things.. which in layman's terms mean i focus on one thing intensely.. and id much rather be focused on something cool like a movie, or rockets...NOT my bladder.. and id be doing that if i constantly used the distarction techiques they taught me.. Yes, they may work to a point.. but the fact is, it STILL doesnt make me normal. The average indivdual doesn't do pelvic floor contractions.. does'nt have to watch his diet to keep himself from wetting.. its kinda akin to when my dad started losing his hair... the doctor told him basically you can either go with a razor.. or a wig.. meaning that he wouldn't get his natural hair back..so he decided to start shaving his head and get adjusted to his situation.. i might do just the same... of course.. I wouldn't give up the toilet compeltly.. bowel movements in the diaper are probably not the way i want to live if i can avoid it.. from the few accidents ive had.. clean up is a hassle.. And, at home id try to use the toilet to pee for the sake of cutting down on diaper use..but in public..eh... whatever..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II