www.incontinentsupport.org

Hey everyone. so unfortunately for me I'm fairly new to all of this... At the moment, for me, which I think is the hardest thing I'm dealing with, is I'm not to sure why I'm having bladder problems. It's taken me a few months to confront my problems and go see a doctor. I've had a few basic tests run and was given some adult diapers for my protection, but its less than a month before my 30th, I dunno how can I be in diapers. I'm just way to embarrassed, I don't even know how to tell my best mate.
Well tonight I wet myself in front of everyone and I didn't even realise it was happening until it was way to late.

If anyone can offer any advice about how do deal with getting by with diapers, also telling friends... I just don't know what to say, I worried no-ones gonna hang out with me anymore.

Sorry about rambling but I'm all over the place and any help would be very welcome
Thanks, Phil Campbell

First, let's hope that your doctor finds an effective way of dealing with the problem. Incontinence is often curable or capable of being greatly helped.

When it comes to dealing with diapers, experience is the key. If you have to wear protection for the long term, you will learn which products work best for you and will get into a routine for handling your situation.

When it comes to telling others, I go on a "need to know" basis. Anyone who shares your household or in whose house you will be staying overnight will need to know. So will your physician or almost any other medical practitioner you deal with. But most people really don't need to know, and i don't tell them. If you weren't incontinent, how many people would you discuss your underwear with?

Thank you very much for your response Iconinmiss, I really hope this is something that can be fixed. So far none of my tablets have done a thing for me but my doctor said to give it some time and if not theres still other things to try, so fingers crossed.

I really do hope I don't have to get used to diapers but at the moment i'm really struggling, I just can't seem to get my timing right. Can you suggest some good pads for a bit of a heavier wetter, the depends ones the nurse gave me seem to be really thin, I keep getting embarrassing leaks when I still down or have a second wetting before I can change.

Do you think its absolutely necessary to let someone know if i'm temporarily living at there house. Because I'am living at my friends fathers house ?
And I haven't told anyone yet...

Again much thanks, Phil

As far as telling people goes... I honestly think that YOU will be happier if you tell the people in your household. Just because... every day that goes by when you have to hide something like this is a day when you're carrying this enormous burden all on your own, that could be lightened by being shared.

But... I'm not you, and I don't know the people you're talking about. So that's just a guess. But that's been my experience, in my life.

I've spent most of my adult life wearing diapers -- I used to be totally intimidated by the idea of doctors, medication, exercises, etc, and compared to that, diapers seemed *easy*. It's only recently that I've started to get the courage to try to fight the problem "on its own turf", I guess.

Yes, there are totally more absorbent brands out there. Abena, Tena, Dry 24/7, Molicare are all well respected brands. You can also get booster pads that fit inside the diaper and that give them even more absorbency. It's possible with diapers to get to the point where you can go hours and hours without ever even having to *think* about bathroom stuff. Which, for me, is freedom -- it's the total absence of all of the negative stuff. Fear of leaks, fear of wetting, fear of being far from a toilet, etc.

I would say, go research a few brands, get some booster pads, and don't beat yourself up over it!! Life is a good place!!!

What medications have you tried? I had no luck with Ditropan or Vesicare... Enablex seems to work well, but only at very high dosages. Amitriptyline... works, somewhat, but makes me feel kind of "blah" as a side effect. I've also had the course of 12 treatments of PTNS, or "percutaneous tibial nerve stimulation".

I'm not willing to consider the Interstim implant... I don't want to be a cyborg. So if my current "take a whole lot of Enablex and practice a whole lot and hope for the best" plan doesn't work out, I think the next thing I'm going to want to consider (for myself) is Botox.

And I've been doing all of this experimenting and exploring, knowing that going back to diapers is always an option if none of it gets me to a place I'm happy with, in the end. And that's important for me because it keeps me from feeling too freaked out -- I always have a backup plan. I hope that diapers can be a good "backstop" for you, as well.

Good luck, and keep the board updated... :-)

I am on the side of don't tell unless it is an absolutely necessary thing for the other person to know about. You can get alone fairly well withint informing the wolrld of your problem, but it can certainly get nerve racking at times, all depends on how you want to deal with it all. Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hello Bcca, How r u ? I really have to say thanks!

Although as embarrassing as today was, I feel so much more comftable about so many more things now. Although I'm still not diggin the diapers too much, a couple of nights ago, I went on the net a found a few places around Melbourne that specified in incontinence products and yesterday, I went and bought myself a bit of a range of diapers to try. So Embarrassed when I got there, but the lady that helped me was really helpful and understanding, think I might have even walked out of there with a smile lol. She Suggested The abena x-plus and molicare but I also got a pack of the tena ones aswell. Don't know about the purple, with the molicare... A bit vibrant for me lol.

Kinda with Puff Pants here, Still not to sure about telling anybody yet, I know I should, but I think for now, I'm just going to figure a few things out for my self first.

My doctor has me on vesicare right now but by the sounds of it, it hasn't worked for you ? Do the pills really help, i'm still hasn't really set in that i might be in diapers for the rest of my life...

Hey. :-) No problem! Things are OK here. I went to visit my parents yesterday, and today I'm just waiting at home for an air conditioner service tech to come by before I can head to work.

It's good to hear that the shopping trip wasn't so bad. All of those ones should be fine IMO.



The Vesicare (at either the 5 or the 10 mg level) didn't do much for me, no. Neither did the 7.5 mg of Enablex, which was the starting dose I was on this spring. If you look back at my first posts on this board, then, I said that the Enablex was "doing something discernible"... I could tell it was there, but it wasn't really making day to day life a lot easier.

15 mg of Enablex... for the four days or so that it was actually working... was an eye opening experience. Previously I had assumed that there was something *mechanically* wrong with my bladder, but the experience of Enablex at the 15 mg level made me realize that my bladder (the hardware) was capable of doing amazing things, and there really are just a bad set of neurological (software) circumstances that keep it from doing that most of the time. So yes, the higher dose of Enablex did really, really, REALLY help, for me. It was amazing!!

And then of course it stopped working. And after going around in circles a few times and trying other things, I'm back on the Enablex now, but at an *even higher* dosage. And it's... working, but not quite up to that awesomely high level.

How many mg/day of Vesicare are you taking at the moment? If 5, has your doctor shown any signs of willingness to try 10? Just to gather that data point and see what it's like at 10?