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Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: packages
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2014 2:50 pm
Posts: 687
Location: Oklahoma
Just when I think I am feeling more comfortable around my wife I get embarrassed when my supplies arrive and she has to bring them in the house. I mean we have been dealing with this problem for years now, she knows what I have to wear and the bags I have to carry around. I just hate that feeling when it happens.


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:11 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:08 am
Posts: 24
Im so sorry to read about youre embaresment feelings Batman :( what i would suggest is try to look at this on a more Normal situation, i mean as you say youre self she is very aware and have accepted the fact you need to have this medical suplies due to youre medical iccues so technicly there shouldent be a need for you to feel embarest. Its in my opinion simular to if she would feel embarest to buy and carry her special suplies around you for that special time of the month if you can think of it that way & im shore we both agree on that there aint no meaning to feel embarest about that.


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:49 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:23 pm
Posts: 11
I know how you feel. However, I think Sarah put it the right perspective. Its just a part of life for us. Not always fun but certainly better than the alternative.

Max

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Bowel incontinent due to IBS-D and removal of diseased sigmoid colon. Mild urinary incontinece. In diapers 24/7


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 6:43 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:16 am
Posts: 220
Location: Ohio
We were in the driveway when FedEx arrived with a case of diapers. As the driver got out and handed the package to me, my wife asks, "what did you order?" I said "supplies," but she asked again. More firmly, I said "SUPPLIES" and the lightbulb turned on. I told her the next time that happened, I was just gonna say "my diapers" right in front of the driver...she hasn't asked since!

Even though I am, at this point, comfortable with her seeing me in diapers, changing, getting ready for bed, etc., I still sometimes feel funny when she sees the large brown box sitting on the porch, so I can understand how you feel. Like Sarah said, your wife probably has her own products to use. Early on, when I just had the occasional dribble or leak, my wife suggested I should try some pads, so I went to the local superstore and bought some (before we knew anything about male guards, etc). While standing in the checkout line, the cashier asked if they were for my daughter. Without thinking, I said no, they were for me! Then I caught myself and said they were for my wife. She was surprised, and told me guys will buy pads for their daughters, but never for their wives!

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 8:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:01 pm
Posts: 554
Location: Florida
Batman:
It's interesting how the various members here have different feelings about this situation. For me it's almost he opposite as to what you are describing. I don't have any problem with my wife seeing me buying diapers or having bags of diapers in sight in the master bathroom. In fact I'm the one that calls them "diapers" and she's the one that kind of sheepishly calls everything "supplies". We both don't have any problem with me wearing just a diaper and t-shirt around the house. However what does embarrass the heck out me is when she sees me either taking off a wet diaper or putting on a dry one, even though she doesn't even blink an eye I just want to crawl under a rug. Go Figure!


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:42 am
Posts: 65
Location: United Kingdom
My wife's issue with accepting my diaper shipments isn't about the diapers themselves, but the weight of the package. I have an order delivered about once every two weeks, and it is usually 4 bags. My wife is pretty small, and not very strong. She has to push & pull the package down the hall.

Every now and then, she won't be home for a delivery, and they will leave it with our neighbor across the street (we have a reciprocal agreement with them). My neighbors aren't nosy, but they have probably guessed that one of us is incontinent.


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:01 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:50 pm
Posts: 6
I'll admit- I still struggle. I can't bear to buy the stuff in the store, I'm worried someone who doesn't know will find out.
Thank you, amazon prime.


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2018 11:12 am 
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Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 4:59 pm
Posts: 216
While it does get easier for us, the embarrassment for our loved ones is always a concern.

I live with my in-laws currently in Chicago who don't know. While my wife had no issues with my packages in our old home, she doesn't want her family asking questions. Luckily, I can drive to Northshore and pick up my packages there and bring them into the house when I know I will have privacy. (also saves on shipping)


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 Post subject: Re: packages
PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 5:12 pm
Posts: 32
Location: USA
My wife understands and I have been having no problems with her. While I do get crappy diapers via the VA, they now come via UPS in unmarked boxes. She has no problem bringing them into the house, then tells me I need to put them away. They used to come in marked boxes via USPS and had to be picked up at the front desk where everyone can see what they were. She hated that. I wear cloth diapers every day. She washes them for me as just being another laundry day. We both feel it’s nobody else’s business including family. Maybe cause she is a nurse it’s easier for us as she deals with this everyday at work. As some of you know I have the beginnings of dementia. She now has full power of attorney on me. I have good days and bad. More good than bad. Yesterday after we donated goods to Good Will, on our way back home, i passed by our home and my wife asked where we are going. I had no idea. She was very calm and said we should go check the mail at the Post Office. This is harder to deal with than incontenence.

Bill


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