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Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
http://incontinentsupport.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2204		 Page 2 of 8
Author:  batman381327 [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Welcome to the group trufitgirl. I echo everything that has been said. I still have my days, but it does get better and thanks to the many folks in this group, I have quickly realized I was not alone.
Author:  Wetters [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Hi and welcome. I'm sorry about your issues. Can surgery correct the problem? Do you wear the GoodNites Tru-Fit pad-and-pant system? Are you actually that small/young, and do they work well for you? I wear pull-ups day and night, and I'm not at all embarrassed about it. Of course, no one knows besides my husband (and the folks who read the postings here, lol!). I don't give my incontinence or padded underwear much thought - I'm grateful that I can be out and about and have a life.

Wetters
Author:  Scott902 [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Not too sure on many others, but since me sees things like a kid does, with how me is, at first, was really embarrassed about wearing diapers.
Then, finally got to the point, where no longer care who knows, or even sees.
Imagine a lot of times, shirt rode up when reaching higher shelves in stores, and really not worry anymore.

It's a medical issue, and if people can't respect that, then it's on them, not me.
Author:  Noe [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Deleted
Author:  dd1983 [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
johnstone wrote:
Welcome to the group. I guess most everyone goes through an acceptance phase of wearing diapers n the beginning. The good news is the faster you make adjustment and accept your handicap the better off you will be. It's NOT easy to wrap your mind around everything at once, and certain things will take tame to adjust since wearing diapers means doing some things differently, or at least planning ahead for things you probably didn't gave much thought to until recently such as using a public restroom...., now you will most likely use this facility for diaper changing. The best advise I can offer in the beginning is find the type protection that works the best for you so you have confidence about going about your daily activities in a normal manner. Just take each day one step at a time and don't let your new disability hold you back from any previous active you did before you started wearing diapers all the time.

What does your doc tell you? Will the use of any meds help?

Hope this helps. Be positive,...think positive, one step at a time.


Trufitgirl1221 - really good advice here from johnstone.

I would also add, be patient with yourself. Some go through the accepting phase faster than others. Requiring protection full time can be a life altering event. As johnstone said, find the protection that works best for you. Finding the right protection was one of the biggest hurdles that helped me accept diapers (at just 32 years old). With the right protection, I soon realized I could do just about everything I was used to... I just might have to do it a little differently and plan ahead more. In the beginning, I was definitely embarrassed and I can totally relate to you. But as I began to figure out how to manage the condition, it gradually got better. Nothing to be ashamed of. This community is awesome and is here for ya!
Author:  Porkchop [ Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Welcome to our unfortunate group, and like everyone said just take it a day at a time!!! It's been right at a 6 months since I gave up on pills and diapered full time..... so I'm still figuring out the logistics and taking it a day a time. May we can race to the finish line of acceptance.
Author:  CJinNM [ Thu Mar 31, 2016 5:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Welcome to the Group!

I admit I was completely embarrassed when I started wearing diapers full time during the day. I've had to wear them at night for a long, long time and I guess that sort of helped, but losing my daytime control really played hell with my psyche. Ironically, my worst embarrassment came from a ridiculously poor interaction with a urologist who essentially shamed me for wearing diapers before he even knew my story.

Now that I'm a few years in to wearing diapers 24/7, I can easily see the two things that have helped me the most. 1) My closest friends and family know and that makes it feel less like a secret I have to carry around all the time. Now that real, live people who know me are aware and none of them have handled it poorly, I honestly feel like I don't care if people do find out now. 2) Coming to his forum and interacting with real, live people who also live this life and this condition every day made a HUGE difference in how I coped. I'm not alone. I can talk to people who "get it". Wearing diapers or using whatever form of protection works for you is entirely reasonable. Thanks to people here and to the people who know me and support me, my diaper is now literally just a pair of underwear to me. If I didn't have it, I'd be locked at home with no life, having visible accidents or being worried about accidents constantly. With my diaper, I get to be me. No apologies. I don't go around showing it to anyone, but then again, I didn't do that with my non-absorbent underwear either.

Hope this helps.

CJ
Author:  Patrick [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
I guess that embarrassment caused by incontinence has been slightly different for me. When my incontinence began, I had intensely painful bladder spasms. A measured four ozs. of urine/saline, was enough to give me a bladder cramp so painful that I doubled up on the exam table or my bed, begging for my next dose of morphine. Embarrassment was far from my mind when the doctors, nurses and technicians were working on me; I just wanted relief, whatever the cost. Embarrassment entered the picture only after my sphincterotomy ended the pain, at the expense of continual leakage. Numerous urological procedures since, years of pelvic floor physical therapy and occupational therapy, and medical school exams by students, interns, and residents, have since pretty much made me accept that this is the life I must lead, and that the doctors and students examining me now will be more understanding of the incontinents they encounter in the future.
Author:  B Brian [ Fri Apr 01, 2016 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
Patrick, I can so relate. Having that painful urge incontinence combined with my previous inability to go was horrible. Being able to pee freely has been so much better for me that I'm now more embarrassed I didn't pursue using diapers sooner.

Yet at first I did resist needing/using them due do that social stigma and potential for embarasement. Still, even when I did over come it, it took me another decade to find and convince a urologist of it as well. It seems we aren't the only ones who are embarassed to embrace diapers too- like you said, our doctors are too.

The truth is, diapers can be a true life/pants saver, and there is no reason any of us should be embarrased about that (easier said than done though, I know)
Author:  MikePNW [ Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Are you embarrassed to wear diapers?
I posted the following on another site (wearing-adult-diapers.com) a couple of weeks ago in response to a similar thread. Given its relevance to this thread, I'm reposting it here:


"Due to leakage and heavy urge (flooding) urinary incontinence that started about 5 years when I was in my late 30s, I had to start wearing diapers. At first, it was extremely awkward, especially when wearing and changing in public. I felt very conscious about it, and I was constantly concerned that the bulk of my diapers was visible, despite making some wardrobe adjustments to conceal the bulk. As I became accustomed to the bulk of the diapers, it became the "new normal." Now, the diapers are just a different form of underwear. I don't notice them until it is time to change.

Not once has anyone asked or commented about the diapers even in situations where the odds are higher that someone else may notice. To illustrate: I use the restroom whenever one is available in order to reduce the frequency of leaks and urge accidents, which reduces the number of diapers I go through each day. Since using the urinal is next to impossible when in diapers and waterproof (PUL or vinyl) pants, I have to sit on the toilet to urinate. This means that my pants/shorts, PUL cover, and (thick) diaper are down low enough to be visible under the stall divider if anyone outside is looking down toward the floor. I have changed diapers and pads in many public restroom stalls in airports, stadiums, arenas, parks, and restaurants, which means carrying a trash bag with the wet diaper out of the stall to the trash can. Plus, there are unusual noises (ripping tapes, crinkling plastic, etc.) that accompany a diaper change. Not once has any acted as though they have noticed the diapers.

The reality is that, wet pants are much more likely to be noticed than the bulk of a diaper, even if it is very wet and in need of a change. I have accepted diapers, and I appreciate having them so I can lead a normal life without having to worry about wet pants. After 5 years of wearing and changing diapers in public without a single person commenting or asking, I don't worry about it any more.

Sorry about the length of this post and the detail, but I believe that most folks are focused on their own activities to notice or guess what kind of "underwear" someone else is wearing. And, if folks happen to notice, they are considerate enough to not ask."
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