5bugles,
I too am a side sleeper and have worn cloth over a disposable diaper at night (usually a day-weight prefold). An advantage is that, if the disposable diaper does not leak, there is no need to launder the cloth diaper. This was very helpful to me when I was in an apartment with an inadequate washer-dryer system. I often would go three or four nights before the disposable diaper leaked. I think the extra pressure from the cloth diaper helped to keep the disposable snug against my body and that helped reduce leaks.
You are quite correct about the complexities of finding the right products for various situations. As you have seen from the postings here from others who have been incontinent longer than I have, that process never ends. There always is room for some more "fine-tuning."
You obviously are willing to experiment. That is an important trait for those who cope successfully with their incontinence.
--John