www.incontinentsupport.org

Lts, it sounds like you were in a tough situation with your friend. She definitely noticed when you ran to the bathroom, but may also have noticed if you wore a diaper. I'm not even sure where I'd fall on that issue. Pick your poison, I guess.

I find it interesting because it seems like we're all worried that people will know you're wearing diapers, but this is the first I've heard of worrying about what they notice if you're not. Does make you think though...

I guess its something you just have to go through and there's nothing more to it. I found some track style pants that are good for hiding. I don't think my coworkers will talk but its just so emabrrassing. Right now I have a terrible uti and I'm so uncomfortable anyway, I just don't care at this point. I couldn't work today because of it. Yesterday I had on sweat pants at home and it was the first time that I realized while passing a mirror that you could see the lines very well. I hadn't realized this before so someone must know. Come to think of it, I recall this incident while riding a bus. A middle aged man waiting for the bus wet himself and everyone was looking at him. He had to go all the way to the back for a seat. I remember thinking to myself that he must be mentally ill or something. Now I feel bad for thinking that after experiencing the same thing. I guess the stigma comes from ignorance.

Hi LtsofQues,
Sounds like you're on the right track on finding some pants to hide your diaper. I have found in the past sweat pants don't do a good job hiding a diaper. Don't feel bad about seeing your diaper lines thru your sweat pants. That story about the man on the bus was sad. I can't think of any situation that can be more embarrasing than that. You know people will look, but when they get off the bus, most will forget about it. But it'll leave emotional scars on the person who had the accident.
As long as you have your protection on, I wouldn't worry what co-workers think. You're doing your best to hide it, and I think no one will ever notice. Good luck with your UTI. I thought cranberry juice would help that. .......Paul Martin

Much better today the cranberry has helped. That is sad, but I think we have all been there. My point is that now I realize this is a medical problem and shouldn't have reacted that way. The track pants are really good plus have an extra liner inside. I will ditch the sweat pants and get a full length mirror although I'm a little self concious that I didn't notice this before and I'm sure others did. Noone gave me a look or said anyhting but it was only notieable from the back. Maybe it is only that particular pair.

In case of having to work in another area I thought about what you guys have said. I wonder if this would be approriate. To have a conversation with the personel manager and tell her about this medical problem and the need for bathroom breaks. Also ask to use the manger's restroom to change and possibly store extra diapers and wipes in there instead of hauling it around. All they can say is no. The reason being that even if a restroom break is given every hour (probably won't happen) but for example if it is given and the need to go arises within the hour it could mean needing to change right away. Staying wet too long could have triggered the uti and it's embarrassing to change an entire diaper not just a pad in the big restroom where coworkers can hear everything and see the plasic bag disposed in the trash. It could be a hard coversation but accidents and more uti's need to be avoided and the cost of shame.

Ltsofques,
That's what I would do. It may be a bit embarrasing, but having accidents on the watch would be worse. I would explain it to her, and I'm sure she'll help out in some way. Go for it, girl! .................Paul

I haven't gotten the nerve to say anything yet. I just thought I'd check and see if this would be appropriate. I just don't want to have an accident at work. How do you deal with an accident at work if it happens? I can't imagine how horrible that would be and then everyone would know for sure. Do you ever struggle with the stigma in your own mind? Sometimes I'll be in a conversation with coworkers or other people and think, I bet know one else here needs a diaper. It seems kind of dysfuncional although you can't help it, but its isolating.

I have had accidents at work. It's aminly because I wait too long to cahnge out of my wet diaper. It's worse when I wear Khaki pants. I wear navy blue too and it hides it very well. I just like khaki because I have more shirts that go with that color.
Anyways, if I do have an accident, I just try to dry my pants as best I can with paper towels, and hurriedly walk back to my desk. Usually, my pants will dry out enough that you can't notice it after about 20 minutes.
I'm always diapered so I've hd no accidents without a diaper on. Now that would be a disaster! ......Paul

When you have accidents at work does anyone know or treat you different? The fear of an accident at work is a horrible thought. It could force you to be outed to your coworkers. I hate this and feel very different from other people. It's ups and downs all the time. Leaks tend to come at the back of the leg gatherings. This is no problem if it happens while shopping in winter with a long coat, but summer could be a bigger challenge. The worst part is the anger and frustration of not getting there in time or getting there just as it's too late, and worse, finding a place has no bathroom and having to be doomed. This all can be avoided with frequent bathroom breaks and enough time to get there, but that can't always happen. So why worry, just be prepared. I think personel managers have to keep stuff confidential so that's the best bet. I wouldn't take a chance with khaki's, it's black or blue cargo for work. It's good to bring an extra change of clothes but if coworkers see you in a different pair, they may know. Maybe duplicates would be a good idea.

One idea that can help with those leaks at the leg gathers (or the sides on some diapers with men)...

When I wear most disposables that are less than the really major ones (i.e., Abena X-Plus), I will wear a pair of waterproof pants over them. Also if the cloth-like cover is on the outside, it will actually absorb some of the spill if it's contained within the pants. Daytimes, I often use the urethane-lined nylon pants found at DMPonline, which are a bit cooler than vinyl ones.

Just a thought.

Gimwet

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Gimwet