I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 2:15 pm
HI all, I am relatively new to the boards....I have made fast friends already with Rope, however......I wanted to throw this out there and get the feeling of the group....I struggle with the term incontinent, because I am not sure the label appropriately fits my condition....I can hold it fine, except that I have to go to the bathroom 15+times per day.....I don't have any trouble making it to the toilet on time, its after I am done I leak and leak, sometimes small spots like a silver dollar and sometimes the size of a lemon.....I am wearing protection because of it because it makes it pretty uncomfortable....I struggle to call this incontinence because its not that I can't make it to the bathroom on time its just that I leak after I go.........I have been to a urologist, but am between urologists right now. I have had the cystoscopy and I am taking Vesicare (some of you may have seen my earlier post about that medication) the med was doing its thing but has abruptly stopped working leaving me right where I was before and now I am having the classic signs of OAB.....This has been going on since early February/March 2014 and now it is May 22, 2014, so 3-4 months this has been really bad.....
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 3:06 pm
Hello, PB&J32 and everybody.
Here, in the definition of the dictionary of the Royal Academy of Spanish language the incontinence is the patology consistent in the not volontary urine emission, i don´t agree 100% with it because it doesn´t even mention the fecal incontinence, but what I mean is that any unvolontary escape of urine (or fecal or both) with some frequence is tecnichally incontinence, whatever the quantity is. I know for everyone facing this it´s hard to assume at first, in fact here the tv spots of products for "low inc" talks about "little urine losses" without saying the word, trying not to be too schocking to the potential customer. But actually, incontinence is what it is, of course for people with very little losses or accidents wouldn´t be as important to their habits or rutines as the ones that have higher escapes or total. In my case all the urine finishes in the diaper or bag depending what I´m using, and I also have some "dirty" accidents a few times each month, but apart of the degree of incontinence of everyone my opinion is to call it by it´s name even if it is a very "light" incontinence because if you don´t I think it´s some kind of self-lying and to my humble thinking it´s doesn´t lead you anywhere, of course I say between us that we all have incontinence, with your relatives and friends you don´t have to call it no way because you don´t have to avow it neither if you don´t want to, but to you I believe it the first step to asume it with the best self esteem and dignity possible. I insist that it´s just an opinion and humble advice, and I encourage to all who don´t think what I say is true to correct me. Even if know it is incontinence with that low level maybe you can overcome and not to be it anymore!! but by now I think it´s the word to refer it "tecnichal". Hope I´m useful and I don´t want in no way to offend no body ok? I just try to help saying what I believe.
Salutations to everyone.
Duque
Here, in the definition of the dictionary of the Royal Academy of Spanish language the incontinence is the patology consistent in the not volontary urine emission, i don´t agree 100% with it because it doesn´t even mention the fecal incontinence, but what I mean is that any unvolontary escape of urine (or fecal or both) with some frequence is tecnichally incontinence, whatever the quantity is. I know for everyone facing this it´s hard to assume at first, in fact here the tv spots of products for "low inc" talks about "little urine losses" without saying the word, trying not to be too schocking to the potential customer. But actually, incontinence is what it is, of course for people with very little losses or accidents wouldn´t be as important to their habits or rutines as the ones that have higher escapes or total. In my case all the urine finishes in the diaper or bag depending what I´m using, and I also have some "dirty" accidents a few times each month, but apart of the degree of incontinence of everyone my opinion is to call it by it´s name even if it is a very "light" incontinence because if you don´t I think it´s some kind of self-lying and to my humble thinking it´s doesn´t lead you anywhere, of course I say between us that we all have incontinence, with your relatives and friends you don´t have to call it no way because you don´t have to avow it neither if you don´t want to, but to you I believe it the first step to asume it with the best self esteem and dignity possible. I insist that it´s just an opinion and humble advice, and I encourage to all who don´t think what I say is true to correct me. Even if know it is incontinence with that low level maybe you can overcome and not to be it anymore!! but by now I think it´s the word to refer it "tecnichal". Hope I´m useful and I don´t want in no way to offend no body ok? I just try to help saying what I believe.
Salutations to everyone.
Duque
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 4:21 pm
PB&J32,
If your medicine has stopped working and you're having "classic signs of OAB," then my guess is that your urologist will tell you you're incontinent. If I could live my life within five steps of a toilet at all times, I would not need to wear protection, especially in hot summer weather, when dehydration comes naturally. But that is impossible, so I need to wear protection. The same or something similar may apply to you. Good luck.
If your medicine has stopped working and you're having "classic signs of OAB," then my guess is that your urologist will tell you you're incontinent. If I could live my life within five steps of a toilet at all times, I would not need to wear protection, especially in hot summer weather, when dehydration comes naturally. But that is impossible, so I need to wear protection. The same or something similar may apply to you. Good luck.
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 5:01 pm
Thank You, Both, Those answers were well put.....I just struggle to put that name on it still because I can still make it to the toilet even though afterward, I am left with wet pants of varying severity.....So Yes, the meds seemed to come to a stop fairly suddenly about a week ago (5/15) I have only been on them since April 28 (the date of my last uro appointment) That was the last time I saw the old uro....I don't see the new one until early June....I have tried to get in early but to no avail yet.....their cancellation list hasn't worked out with my work schedules.....and I only work 2 days (24 hour shifts) a week........ 
Thanks for having a sympathetic ear.....I think the wife's patience has worn thin listening to me talk about my symptoms....She's been pretty supportive so far....
Thanks for having a sympathetic ear.....I think the wife's patience has worn thin listening to me talk about my symptoms....She's been pretty supportive so far....
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 5:56 pm
Hey PB&J,
I so know where you are coming from. I have been doing this dance for a while now and I'm still hung up with the word "diaper". As for the label of incontinence, remember there are degrees of incontinence but all are still incontinence. Let me make another analogy that might make since. I am a firefighter and we respond to house fires or the proper discription is a structure fire. Any fire in a structure is a structure fire as far as the report or the dispatch. It could be as major as a fully involved fire or a smaller room and contents fire. Even if it is as small as a wall outlet that shorted out and charred the wall and was out on arrival, it is still a structure fire.
My point is there are different levels and degrees to a lot of thing that share the same name. Don't get hung up on what it is called. If anything just tell yourself you have lite incontinence. That's the same as regular incontinence just with fewer calories.
*that last part was a joke*
Rope
I so know where you are coming from. I have been doing this dance for a while now and I'm still hung up with the word "diaper". As for the label of incontinence, remember there are degrees of incontinence but all are still incontinence. Let me make another analogy that might make since. I am a firefighter and we respond to house fires or the proper discription is a structure fire. Any fire in a structure is a structure fire as far as the report or the dispatch. It could be as major as a fully involved fire or a smaller room and contents fire. Even if it is as small as a wall outlet that shorted out and charred the wall and was out on arrival, it is still a structure fire.
My point is there are different levels and degrees to a lot of thing that share the same name. Don't get hung up on what it is called. If anything just tell yourself you have lite incontinence. That's the same as regular incontinence just with fewer calories.
*that last part was a joke*
Rope
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Thu May 22, 2014 7:35 pm
Rope, put it in those terms, and I can understand it!!!! like your speaking my language!! Thanks!! I especially like the part about the less calories part!!!! lol!!!
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Fri May 23, 2014 3:11 am
Rope_Wrench wrote: ... you have lite incontinence. That's the same as regular incontinence just with fewer calories. ... Rope
... that was funny!OK ... So I guess I am packing on the calories now!
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:34 am
One could also say its the low rash version 
Makes sense, because arent high calorie sodas responsible for giving some folks concentrated urine and diaper rash??
Makes sense, because arent high calorie sodas responsible for giving some folks concentrated urine and diaper rash??
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:55 am
I struggled with the EXACT same thing when i started having incontiennce problems It started like that for me almost exactly. I didn't call it incontinence, i called it urine dribbling. or spotting. I started wearing protection light pads for exactly the same reason you did.. tired of putting up with wet underwear and im going to say this as gently as I can.. its a small form of denial. It's like rope said..your'e still having a fire..and to continue the rash/fire/calorie analogy..diaper rash does make it feel like someone's unmentionables are on fire..with light inco its a small fire. To me, if you need any form of protection be it pads or undergaments or a diaper.. you are incontinent. Yes, it is true that some men who dont have incon do diribble after urinating..but we are talking a drop or two. also, they are not going 10+ times a day. as far as the denial thing goes, what shattered my denial was being at my GP's office and hearing them use the term incontinence to describe my situation. I read your previous posts, and it if i can be blunt, it sounds like your'e letting your life revolve around a toilet. I used to do that too, even when i wore the breifs 24/7. I got tired of doing that near the end of my incon journey last time. i missed out on so much stuff. I realize its hard to grasp the fact that you have less control. Consider this however: do regular adults go as often as you do? more to the point, do they still leak after making it to the toilet? Actually, your incontinence sounds a lot like mine, and turns out hte root cause wasnt OAB at all, it was oveflow incon.. yours might be the same.
I hope ive been helpful.. youre not alone in coming to terms with this! peace out!
Rob
I hope ive been helpful.. youre not alone in coming to terms with this! peace out!
Rob
Re: I struggle with the label "incontinent"
Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:27 am
Agree with all the above.
At first I had great anxiety over identifying myself with "incontinence" and "diaper." Yes, it was denial. I was too embarrassed to even discuss it with my primary care physician.
However, once I reached the point of mental acceptance, I was able to admit that I was incontinent and needed to wear a diaper. Most of the anxiety then disappeared. I mentally went to the opposite end of the spectrum and got really serious about finding out all I could about incontinence, controlling it, and wearing diapers effectively. A diaper is a diaper and it does not make me any less mature to use the term.
--John
At first I had great anxiety over identifying myself with "incontinence" and "diaper." Yes, it was denial. I was too embarrassed to even discuss it with my primary care physician.
However, once I reached the point of mental acceptance, I was able to admit that I was incontinent and needed to wear a diaper. Most of the anxiety then disappeared. I mentally went to the opposite end of the spectrum and got really serious about finding out all I could about incontinence, controlling it, and wearing diapers effectively. A diaper is a diaper and it does not make me any less mature to use the term.
--John