www.incontinentsupport.org

I am posting this here because it seems like a nice warm comfy board to post in.

The title really does say how I feel sometimes. I feel like my own body is working against my will and mind sometimes. It seems that as much as I attempt control, the less control I have. I have found through research that I most likely have overflow and urge incon. I have times and days that are better than others. For those days, like yesterday, that are just not going well, I have started to keep diapers at work in my desk drawer and in the car just in case. Usually, I can tell in the morning how my day might go but that is turning out to not be 100% accurate anymore.

Yesterday seemed to start out ok. Around mid day I had a bit of an accident and changed into a diaper for the remainder of the day. I held ok until I was done work with minor leakage. By the time I got home from work I was soaked and had to change. I had never had that much issue while driving before.

Now I know most of you are going to suggest/recommend that I talk to my doctor as I have not done that yet. I just haven't had the courage to do that. I think part of that has to do with reading what others have gone through to determine the cause and I'm just not sure I want to go through all that. I know it is the only way to be sure. And, I have held out so far. But now with yesterday's incident I am feeling this is only getting worse and it is time to have that talk with the doctor.

I also know from hanging out here and reading posts that all of you are and will be very supportive and believe me I appreciate that more than you can know. It is just comforting to know that SOMEONE understands. I finally feel that I am no longer lost and on this road by myself. Thank you everyone for being here and sharing and encouraging. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

We appreciate your kind words, msshendo, about this board and it is very nice to know we are offering support and encouragement. A lot of us have been thru the mill, so to speak, facing increasing leaking issues and seeking help from the medical communitiy, which can not always give us positive answers but you should start there.

Your post indicates you are taking the right steps....you are pushing on with life and work while taking the precaution of stocking diapers at work and in the car. You have already found diapers are a valuable management tool for keeping your problem private and your pants dry.

Your feeling as tho your body is working against you is shared by many. When we've always been continent and can count on appropriate warning that we need to urinate and go find a toilet and then go......it is taken for granted. Finding that your underwear and pants are now getting wet is certainly as tho your body has double crossed you and "has a mind of its own". A great many of the folks here have been down that road and will be very supportive of how you feel.

In addition, many have been thru all the tests and when you do see your doc and then a urologist and find out what they want to do, you can ask here and get info from those who've already been thru it, and find out which tests are not so bad and which ones you may need to grit your teeth to get thru. Of course, everyone is different and percieve things differently with different thresholds of pain / discomfort....but at least you will get some idea of what to expect beyond what the doc tells you, which often is pretty skimpy.

A lot of times we have to overcome diaper denial due to diaper stigma. People just don't want to or can not accept that a diaper is needed. They won't wear a diaper and put up with wet pants accidents. You are a step ahead in that you already accept that a diaper works and unless and until you can get your body to cooperate with you, you will wear a diaper so you can continue with your life. And while we all wish we didn't have to wear a diaper, if there is no remedy in our future, we mostly have come to realize a diaper is not the end of the world, there are worst things to put up with and work around then having to wear a diaper to keep our pants dry.

Again, thank you for your kind words of appreciation for what we try to do here and best of luck as you seek a medical evaluation!

JoeK

Thanks Joe. I guess part of where I am at is in part I am still trying not wear diapers 24/7 and not have to rely on them. Like I said, I do have good days and bad days. Where the problem comes in is that I do not always know if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. I am considering starting some type of tracking to see if there are certain times either weekly or montly that are good and bad and also if there are certain triggers.

And I am going to make an appointment with my primary.

msshendo, it can all certainly be frustrating for sure. Good that you are going to talk to your doc, not easy to do, took me a long time as well, first time didn't go so well, so I figured forget it, I give up on him... You can download a bladder diary online and use it to try and monitor your activity, and see if something comes up that may be a trigger in elevating youe episodes, I like this one as it also lists a Foods section, which may also be a cause... http://www.nafc.org/uploads/pdf/OnlineUroLog.pdf Good luck, and hang in there, keep us posted on how it all goes, Puffy

Puffy,

Thanks. I will have to start utilizing that. It would be nice to know if there is a trigger.