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Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2021 11:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 453
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I am in my 60s and have been managing type-2 diabetes for about 20 years. I have some loss of feeling in my feet and the beginnings of sharp pains in my lower legs that last between 5 to 30 seconds.

In December I discovered to my horror(!), that I can lose control of my bladder. The first time was at an office supply store while standing in line to pay at the cashier. All of a sudden, I felt myself starting to go. Being in a public place and shopping there with a relative, I immediately grimaced and mustered all of the inner strength I could find and managed somehow to stop it. I knew that if it were to happen again that it would be a battle lost (fortunately I succeeded in getting home ok). All this pandemic stuff makes shopping difficult with closed washrooms and lineups for everything!

That was followed by another incident at home a week later but I was able to grab myself and pinch it off until it subsided (I was waiting for our one and only bathroom). After that, it had my attention. I discussed it with my wife and after some research contacted the doc. I had my urine tested for infection, but that test was negative. The doc said what I was expecting to hear -- that it was due to nerve damage from the diabetes.

So while waiting for the test results, I was in a quandary. The last thing I wanted to suffer was the public humiliation of a bathroom breakdown in the mall or at the office. My wife half heartedly suggested that I might wear a diaper when I went out, which I immediately dismissed. During the following week I lost a lot of sleep over this. But by mid week, I decided that a diaper would be far better than publicly leaking all over the checkout line. So one night on my way home from work, I brushed aside my pride and bought a package of adult diapers. She was out that night, so this gave me the needed privacy to try them out.

The next challenge was to let the mrs know that I was going to wear a diaper on my way out to the mall. Even though she had made the suggestion a week prior, we had never talked about it again. At the time I was so nervous about this. I was about to change my clothes while holding a white pull-up in my hand when she came into the bedroom to discuss something. I figured that she would see the diaper in my hand and ask about it. She later finished talking but never noticed the diaper! Go figure. So as she is leaving finally I just blurted out that I was going to put on my diaper before going to the mall. That stopped her cold in her tracks. :) Anyway, after some discussion and showing her what I had in mind, she was mostly supportive. I say mostly because then she wanted to discuss all the alternatives like guards. I think her primary motivation was to save money. But I have had some struggles with diarrhea also (I take the max dose of metformin along with slow acting insulin), so I wanted the full solution.

So, now I wear a pull-up every day for accident prevention. It has saved the day a few times on shopping expeditions. The first time out I was so afraid someone might notice. Several weeks later, I can say I don't care anymore if someone notices or "knows". But for a while I did feel guilty about it -- was I over-reacting? Did I really need to do this? But the few episodes since have convinced me that this is the right thing to do. My wife has been supportive by buying packages for me when they are on sale. My kids (over 27) don't know yet. I'm not too concerned about that.. one day though, they will likely be brought into my "circle of trust". :)

So far, I can say that the diaper has brought me confidence that I was starting to lose. I sleep in it too, just in case the incontinence starts in the night (which so far, it has not).

The nurses at a diabetes session 20 years ago warned us that some would become incontinent. So while this wasn't new to me, I just assumed that it would apply to someone else. Nothing else prepared me for any of this. What to buy, how to know if you need it, and how to discuss with your wife etc. Wives however don't seem to be as stigmatized by this with their experience giving birth and pads etc. I just had to laugh when my wife had to show me how to use a guard (pad).

So there you have it. Life goes on, though perhaps not in the way you imagined it would!


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2021 12:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
Wayne, I can relate to a lot of what you have experienced. Although I have only been diagnosed with pre-diabetes, I have had a couple of prostate surgeries. The last was a robotic prostatectomy combined with the removal of a large diverticula. For quite a number of years I suffered with a large prostate which caused some leakage. To try and ease the incontinence at that time, I had green light laser surgery. That worked for a while. It wasn't until about 10 years later that cancer was found. Considering my past history it was determined that removal of the prostate along with the diverticulotomy would be the best course of action. Since I had issues with incontinence prior to these procedures, and wore diapers on occasion I was pretty well prepared for my continued use for them. It has been nearly 4 years since my surgery, and still need to wear a diaper. I find the tape on diaper to work best for me. Sometimes, it is a little bit of an overkill, but other times It's been a good choice. Plus, I don't have to completely disrobe in order to change. I order my supplies on line which definitely eases the embarrassment of purchasing in a store. As far as people knowing that I wear diapers; some do some don't. My wife obviously knows, and a few close friends. It's not a topic of conversation. I'm 73 years old, so not much embarrasses me anymore. In addition, I am now dealing with heart failure and all the procedures and tests related to that. Needing to wear diapers is not that big a deal in comparison. I wish you luck in adjusting to this "new normal".


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2021 3:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 453
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I can see how prostate surgery of any kind can be quite serious as it relates to continence. And agreed that the heart is most important to take care of and I hope that goes well. Thanks for your well wishes for my "new normal". :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2021 12:44 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2021 11:14 am
Posts: 212
Jenn wrote:
If you have urge incontinence, has it changed since it started?

When mine started I had 3-5 minutes before I started leaking and the urgency wasn't dire until several minutes after the initial urge. After a couple decades I have less than a minute from the initial urge until I start wetting. The urgency has also changed. I go from, "oh I need to pee" to "I have to pee now!" in 10-15 seconds.


I have had OAB since my early teens. In 2008 I had my first "small accident" but it was seldom I didn't make it to the bathroom in time and be dry. In 2015 I started having "little leaks" it mostly stayed that way gradually increasing in frequency and amounts until last summer. It seemed almost like overnight I lost control completely. Now almost zero warning. My bladder will spasm with increased intensity, and will release "the pressure" on its own if I try to resist.

This was unsettling, and infuriating at first. I manage it by wearing full on diapers, and using the bathroom preemptively. I've been on almost all of the medications for OAB and they simply just stopped having any effect on me.

Glad I read this string. Sounds like you all had similar experiences.

Thanks,

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Thank you kindly,
CG


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2021 7:46 am 
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Joined: Sun May 09, 2021 7:50 am
Posts: 4
My urge has become more frequent and less predictable. Using a male pad simply is no longer viable.


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2021 11:40 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2021 11:14 am
Posts: 212
PhilGood wrote:
My urge has become more frequent and less predictable. Using a male pad simply is no longer viable.


Sigh... yep. Seems to be the way it goes. I started with pads but quickly had to step up. I was so mortified by the idea of wearing diapers so I didn't really find good solutions until it was clear I had to figure it out. That was around the same time I started Googling things and found this site.

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Thank you kindly,
CG


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2023 4:33 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2023 6:55 pm
Posts: 2
I have Urge Incontinence
I have had it for years and for years mine was where I had around 10 to 15 minutes to get to the bathroom
Then in 2020 i had Fournier's gangrene and spent 4 months in the hospital
Now I have less than a minute and don't even try to get to the restroom, I just go in my diaper. I have no feeling of how full my bladder is and i can try to go but 10 minutes later i am going in my diaper
I wear XP5000 diapers and only need to change every 12+ hours.


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2023 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:46 am
Posts: 373
Location: UK
Hi All

I feel for anyone with Urge Incontinence I have been this way since my teenage years nothing can be done so for 30+ years have been relying on diapers to manage it. These are the cards life has given me so just get on with it took me a while to reach acceptance but when it arrived was so liberating. Yes the constant changes, re-supply stress, enhanced hygiene, constant bladder diary recording etc. are a pain but the alternative is much worse. I have a range of different types of diapers, plastic pants, creams for different situations. Yes I have incontinence but incontinence does not have me and I have a normal as possible life.

Wishing everyone well as you all negotiate your way through the incontinence journey.

Greenbank


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 Post subject: Re: Urge Incontinence
PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2023 5:26 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2023 3:32 pm
Posts: 1
dp66 wrote:
My incontinence is a combination of urge, stress, and overflow. When I feel the urge, I have little time to get to a bathroom. If I do feel a slight urge, it's not long before it becomes more intense. I begin to slowly leak which turns into a steady stream. Stress can used phenq at amazon occur from just a slight bending, twisting, lifting. Overflow is due to my retention. Many times I don't sense that my bladder is filling until I start to void. Now that I have heart failure, and am encouraged by my cardiologist to drink 4 liters of water per day; well, you can pretty much guess what that does for my incontinence issues. I have gone from 1-2 diapers per day to 3-4. BUT, I'm still alive!

This is bad to know about your health situation.
The best I can say to you is keep going with the hope of that things will go better by time.


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