www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello! First of all, I am thankful to find this group! I am 28 years old, have autism, and happily married.I am an electrician, and own my own business in the foot hills of the blue ridge mountains.
I am only trying to seek advice from others, so heres the back story.
I was in diapers until 7 or 8 for fecal incontinence. My folks took me out around then and made me clean my underwear until i was about 11 when I got it under better control.
To this day, I have been struggling to keep this 100% under control... My accidents consist of "stuff" leaking out without me noticing, leaving a stain, but more than enough to make my pants smell bad after less than a day, at least 3 times per week. I have tried wearing depends pull ons, but there is not enough coverage in the back to make much of a difference between them and regular underwear. Plus they shift around...
I have also tried tranquility briefs, and despite the bulk, it keeps embarrassing odors down. However, this leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling of the bulk of such undergarments, and makes want to rip them off... Not to mention questioning if I even need them...
It is hard to go to church wearing them, I am embarrassed to be around my friends. Ironically, I am not as embarrassed to have a minor accident and make an effort to stay down wind of people I am around; but I am sure it is noticeable (no one but a few blunt people in the past have said anything).

For 3-5 accidents per week, (which results in visible stains and noticeable smell by me even just sitting still), are diapers really the answer? I have already been to doctors in the past, biofeedback therapy, etc.
When I do wear diapers, no matter how clean I try to stay, and no matter how much I try to wipe down the nether-regions, it only takes 2 hours before there is evidence of a leak. Again, nothing major, but I cant control it! I wish I could!
I have days where I have no problem, and sometimes a week here and there.

I don't want to wear diapers, but unless I want to change my pants and underwear twice per day, or stay down wind of people (which I have gotten pretty good at I think) , I feel like this is my last resort... I do not want to go on meds, I do not want to go for surgery, I am healthy otherwise, weigh 190, 6ft tall, and very active.

Is choosing diapers the best solution in this case? Visiting bathrooms and cleaning down there 4 or more times per day?
Anyone here have an alike story? Solutions?

If it comes down to diapers, thats fine. I just don't want to be over-reacting to this, as diapers are rather unpleasant to wear.
Thanks!

There are internal deodorants like Nullo that can remove the odor from your bowel movements.

A physician probably would tell you to increase the fiber in your diet.

Taped diapers may be your best solution. A properly fitting plastic-backed diaper will help to contain odor. By selecting trousers a size larger you will be surprised at how difficult it would be to notice anything different about you.

Have you seen a specialist (not your primary care physician)? He may be able to help.

I really do sympathize as I am fecal incontinent.

--John

Your situation is similar to mine, although for a different reason. You might also consider Devrom, another internal deodorant, in addition to the Nullo mentioned above. If your body chemistry is compatible, these can be life savers, giving you valuable extra minutes to find a place to wash and change. I have been in the stands at high school sports contests, and nobody around me was the wiser; my family would not have hesitated to tell me if they had known. Good luck finding what works for you.

I wish I had seen this before. Quality pull-up underwear diapers worked for me in a similar situation.

They are not as thin as the Depend ones, but as you say the Depends for men are not useless for fecal incontinence.

I use the Tena Proskin for Men https://www.amazon.com/TENA-Proskin-Absorbency-Incontinence-Underwear/dp/B07TKCG9RV and they work great for me. I move to the Abri-Flex M1 or M3 (https://www.amazon.com/s?k=abri-flex&i=hpc&crid=2RJNLMZND3CTK&sprefix=abri-flex%2Chpc%2C122&ref=nb_sb_noss_2). M is size, 0-3 is absorbency when I am having bigger problems; I often "leak stuff" like you, but sometimes I go though a period of bigger accidents with mucus and things.

I have periods of time where I, like you, where I slowly leak stuff all the time. I can wipe every 30 minutes and more has just appeared. I often don't even feel it, it just appears.

A product like "Nullo" will help with odor, but I find the underwear solved the problem for me.