www.incontinentsupport.org

Yea Puff. I'm glad it worked out too. I didn't think they would have anything bad to say. I've known these people and have been in there lives for the past 10 years. My wife and I met in Oct of 2000. So I've known my in-laws since then. It just made it so much easier knowing I did not have to hide. My father in law works in the medical field so he understands things like this. Also, my wifes grandmother is a cancer survivor and she has incontinence. She wears depend pullon underwear. So incontinence is not a new thing to my wifes family. My wife was also incontinent for a few weeks after the birth of our first child. Kegel exercises helped her regain control. They haven't helped me though.

I agree with Don about not feeling ashamed about being incontinent. I came out to my family and a few friends about my diaper wearing. I wanted to be able to explain to them what had happened to me and how I was coping with it.

We have a close knit family and it extends to close friends as well. We do outings and vacations together and I knew eventually my diapers would get noticed or seen or talked about. So I thought it best to take the bull by the horns and explain it to all concerned.

I don't need to live a secret life. My diapers arrive at my house on a monthly schedule so no one gives it a second thought. I know this is a matter of personal choice but I am glad everyone knows.

As far as I know only my wife and doctors know.I will tell any one on a need to know basis.

I am going back to my in-laws over the 4th of July weekend. We will be spending time with my wife parents, grand parents, and younger sisters. This trip should be easier because I don't have to hide around them. Her parents know, but not her grandparents and sisters. Her sister may suspect something because I used to live with my inlaws. I kept my diapers in a black duffle bag. One day, my bag was open with diapers inside and my youngest sister in law saw my bag. She said nothing. So I'm not sure if she knows. She is really sweet though and I don't foresee it being a problem if she does find out. I have known her family for 11 years now. We are pretty close and they all know I have medical issues. I am not in the least bit embarassed.

I am EXTREMELY private. I would stay home if my condition "got out." I can handle almost anything - death does not scare me - my condition and keeping it private is paramount to my self esteem. Period. Papa

Papa,
I'm not discounting what you say and I respect your opinion. But for me, its just not that big of a deal if my family knows. I'm really close to these people so I don't see any point in hiding. Our condition is embarassing, yes, but its nothing to be ashamed of. I will not live my life like a hermit because I have to wear diapers. There is too much to see and do in life than to be cooped up inside my house hiding. Am I embarassed about my conditions? Yes I am. But I'm also embarassed about my Bipolar Disorder. I don't go around telling everyone about it because its something that is very difficult to deal with and many people do not understand mental health conditions. The same goes for my incontinence issues. I don't tell everyone because its embarassing and I don't want to be made fun of. But I feel I can trust in the friendship of those I do confide in about my health problems. That way, I have someone to talk to and I don't have to keep everything bottled up. For me, I don't like bottling up everything inside. It makes things that much more painful. I prefer to talk about my problems. I do it all the time with my therapist. I feel I can tell that lady anything and she won't judge me. I can talk to her and be at peace. Having gone through everything I've had to endure over the last couple years, I could use some peace. So I try to relax and enjoy life as much as possible. Take care....Don

I've had to tell various people about my inco, my late wife, (then my girlfriend), who was a nurse and totally accepted it as part of me. I've also had to tell various health care professionals - which in one particualr circumstance didn't help at all! and probably the most difficult my pastor. About 6-8 months ago my inco changed in so much that I was getting a lot more volume combined with a total emptying of my bladder, this meant that my then current protection (stick on inco pads) failed to absorb most of the urine and I very obviosuly and very badly leaked. As I was inthe process of applying for membership to the church I felt the Pastor needed to know the reason for my continued abscence from church. He was fine about it, but since childhood I have always found interacting with men difficult (father was sexually abusive,, left a lot of scars physical and emotional).

THE one time that being open about my inco became a problem was when I was due to have minor surgery which involved a spinal anaesthetic as well as an overnight stay in the local hospital. On the pre-surgery check for mrsa, weight and BP checks I told the ward sister that I had bladder inco and that post surgery I would need a minimum of a conti sheet on the bed or ideally a disposable nappy as I would be paralised from the waist down until the anaesthetic wore off, after that I could self care, but would need a conti sheet on the bed overnight in case of leaks. The Sister assured me that it wouldn't be a problem. Came out of surgery, no sheet, pad or nappy, so at 54 I wet the bed and then had to tell a nurse who looked about 16 what had happened, somewhat embarrasing to say the least. However once they cleaned me and the bed up they decide it might be a good idea to put a conti sheet on the bed.

I've also had to tell other people mainly the mother in law when we started staying over at Easter and Christmas and on e of my late wife's Aunt's, as I needed some clothes adapting, although from what I asked her to do to my clothes she probably worked out what it was for anyway.

So my advice, tell people who need to know, do it in as confident manner as you can, don't go into great detail. I think you'll find most people will accept what you tell them.

Kelvin

Kelvin,
I don't tell anyone who I feel does not need to know. I tell family on a need to know basis. None of my friends know. As far as family goes, it is only like my parents, my sister and her husband, and my wifes parents. Nobody else needs to know. When I do talk about my incontinence, I am very confident and relaxed. I give people only the information they need to know. The rest is pretty easy.

I do not have any problem whatsoever telling medical professionals about my incontinence. They have seen me in all my glory both diapered and naked. I am not in the least bit ashamed of my incontinence when it comes to talking to doctors and nurses. I talk with them freely about my body.

Hi Don,
don't get me wrong I don't have a problem telling health carae proffessionals about my inco, it's in my medical notes anyway, I was just saying that the one time I specifically mentioned it as they needed to know and they totally ignored what I said, leading to a very embarrassed 54 year old male in a very wet bed.

Kelvin

Kelvin,
I think I mentioned in another thread that I was in the hospital before about a year ago. I woke up very wet and the diaper had leaked in my bed. I was very dizzy and tired on medication and was unable to stand. I signaled for the nurse and she came in with a male nurse. Together they got me to a chair and changed my sheets then helped me back to bed. I was still wet though. She asked the male nurse if they needed to change me. He said no I think he can manage. It took me like 15 minutes to change myself. They just handed me a clean diaper and left the room. I really needed their help.