www.incontinentsupport.org

I started being incontinent about 4 months ago following bladder neck surgery. If I am standing or active my bladder will completely empty., Sitting or laying down it stops. I have not learned a good method of dealing with this as I get my pants wet regularly.
I have depends pull ups and heavy pads. I have been using the pads during the day because I hate the thoughts of changing the pull ups in public restrooms and taking pants and shoes off. I thought I could learn to control my fluid intake and control it that way but so far I have not been consistent with predicting when I need to change pads. I am getting too where I don't want to go out because of this. I got rid of all my tan shorts and went to all blue jean because I didn't think it would show as bad. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks

Hi gwarris,

Welcome.

My first bit of advice, because I feel like I was in your shoes not too long ago is to try to be as nice to yourself as possible. Don't get hung up on feeling like your broken. Remind yourself bumper sticker quotes like: "It is what it is"

Second, is just to bite the bullet and find protection that is adequate to handle your worst accident. I tip toed into it because I just couldn't "wear a diaper". Being honest and observant with myself found me wearing Abena M4 daily. I have a limited bladder capacity, with stress and urge IC. I learned the hard way enough to know that just wearing the proper attire will solve a lot of problems. Find a good online seller that has a good selection of premium brands. I like Carewell.com because they have the lowest prices and they don't deal in any fetish-wear type stuff. Great company too. But they don't have everything you might need.

Really hope find some solutions that work for you. I also recommend talking to folks on here. Lots of kind people that deal with the same type of things.

Thanks!

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Thank you kindly,
CG

You will quickly learn that people don't notice. I lost bladder control about 10 years ago and progressed rapidly from pads to pull ups to tape-on diapers. I also greatly increased my water intake to reduce the smell and prevent developing other kidney/bladder problems. It seems counterintuitive because now I have to change 4-5 times a day (twice at work!), but it has become part of my routine. Nobody at work knows I wear diapers. I found a few times during the day when I can go in to the bathroom and change with very little chance of someone else coming in. Like most people who have to change in public, i've gotten very good at being stealthy and quick. A good quality diaper and a bit of planning will make a huge difference.

For reference, I use Tena Slip Active Fit Maxi during the day. They are thin and very discreet. The only significant wardrobe change I have made is that I no longer wear sweatpants/lounge pants in public without snug fitting underwer over my diaper. It's unlikey that anyone would hear the crinkle, but I can.