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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:24 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
I just had my 3 yr prostatectomy/diverticulotomy check up, and I'm still incontinent. I have had a long history of intermittent poor control. I can go several nights being dry, and then for no apparent reason I will have several wet nights. Day time issues are more problematic. I can sometimes feel a slight urge to get to a bathroom, but if I try to hold on for a while or I'm not near a bathroom I'm most likely to have an accident. As a result, I wear a diaper most of the time. Sometimes, it's a bit of an overkill, but don't want to take any chances. Other than having retention, not relaxing my bladder sphincter completely, and having a large bladder capacity, my tests are fairly normal. My urologist thinks it's a combination of things. He has suggested more invasive tests, studies, possible AUS, but at 73 yrs. age I'm through with all this. Am I giving up? Maybe? But, after so many years and tons of tests enough is enough. In addition, I have been dealing with heart disease which has also included a multitude of tests and procedures including a soon to be implanted pacemaker. I guess needing to wear a diaper shouldn't be that big a deal, but still somewhat unsettling. Sorry for the big rant.
Dennis


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:02 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Dennis,

Sometimes diapers are the most reasonable option. You are correct when you say that it should not be a "big deal." Of course, most of us were anxious when we first began wearing diapers full-time.

Definitely don't think of it as "giving up." For incontinence, all of us have had to learn that acceptance is key to effective coping.

I'm a senior like you and share your attitude toward more invasive tests, etc. Diapers can make your life not only simpler but less stressful. As others have noted, diapers just become your underwear.

Best wishes and feee free to send me a PM.

--John
(double incontinent)


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2020 12:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:27 pm
Posts: 26
Hi Dennis,
You are several years further out than me and I feel we are in the same boat.
I am tired of the doctor visits, medications and surgical options. I just want to live a full life.
I have good days when I am full of energy, see friends at the clubhouse and do the things that I want to do in my retirement. My diapers allow to do all this.
Other days, I get leaks or a rash. I get cycles of urinary retention and discomfort and large voids that inevitably lead to leaks or more frequent changes. And all of this keeps me at home.
I appreciate what the diapers allow me to do but I am upset that my condition still keeps me from leaving home at times

- STL


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:35 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:27 pm
Posts: 26
Hi Dennis,
How bad is the retention? That was more troubling for the first several weeks after my catheter was removed but luckily it has gotten better. How are you dealing with it?

Best and keep the spirits up
-STL


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:58 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
Skitennislife,
My retention was pretty sever prior to my prostatectomy. Some of that was due to multiple bladder diverticula that I had. That, along with the enlarged prostate, and distended bladder was the main reason for my incontinence issues. I was wearing a diaper on occasion before my prostatectomy. After my prostatectomy combined with the removal of the larger diverticula, my retention is some better but I still retain more than I should. At one time, I tried to self catheterize for a while. I ended up giving myself a very painful infection. I vowed to never do that again. My incontinence is just part of my life. I have gotten used to the need to wear diapers. And, now with heart problems recently having a pacemaker implanted my incontinence being managed with diapers is not that big a deal. I'm 73 years old. Aging does take its toll. I hope you continue to mend. Be patient. Most guys fair better than me.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2020 10:40 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:27 pm
Posts: 26
I was very happy to have my catheter removed postop. Luckily, that was the last time I needed a catheter. Acquaintances who self-cath have revealed the challenges of doing it well and making sure they don't get an infection.

Now that you don't self-cath, do you think some of your incontinence is from overflow incontinence? When you have an accident, if the voids are large, I've been told that it can be due to overflow incontinence making your urge incontinence more severe and contributing to your urgency and accidents.

I am grateful for modern medicine and incontinence protection is no different.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2020 7:27 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
skitennislife,
I asked that very question at my 3 yr. follow up appointment with my urologist. I asked if some of my issues could be caused by my distended bladder causing overflow incontinence, OAB, etc. He could really not pinpoint any specific reasons. He just said it's probably a combination of things. So, life goes on.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 12:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:46 am
Posts: 119
Btw, how does your urologist feel about your decision to wear diapers. Mine really doesnt care and I see his physician assistant most of the time anyway


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2020 7:34 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
My urologists doesn't question my use of diapers to manage my incontinence. He has suggested some options, but he knows of my history as well as my new heart problems, and completely understands why I'm not interested in any more invasive procedures. Although, I still get a little nervous and embarrassed knowing that they know that I wear diapers. The first person I saw at my last appointment was a beautiful female student. She asked a lot of questions including if I used pads or diapers. When I told her I wore diapers, and why she was very understanding. I have my annual well mans physical coming up in a few weeks, and already I feel my anxiety level raising. He, and his nurse, know of my incontinence issues, but having them see me in a diaper is a little unnerving.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2020 10:34 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:01 pm
Posts: 554
Location: Florida
dp66:
When I go to the doctor I like to wear one of the Tena Mens pull-ups, the one with the small vertical stripes and colored waistband. Yes, it's still a diaper but it just looks so much better than a white tape-up. I'm pretty sure the medical personnel don't really care but at least it makes me feel better. I can get by with that for the time it takes to get to the doctors office, during the appointment, and the drive home. If that wasn't enough capacity you could always add a pad and remove it before going into the office. This has worked for me many times but YMMV.


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