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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 1:10 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:58 am
Posts: 67
After a nice holiday break I got back to work. All good and really no stress. It was just the first day at work after the holiday and I only needed to read and answer all my Emails. During the day I discovered that I had a bad day and that my Tena active pant started to fill up quicker than normal. At the end of the day I had a few phone calls and then the flood gates opened. I felt so bad .. so bad. My pants were completely soaked, my body I wear completely wet, shirt wet (inside pants), oh so bad. My chair got partially wet and when I got up it dripped even on the floor. I checked the corridor, but luckily it was the first working day of the year and all nearby colleagues left the building. As a thief in the night I slipped out of the building into the car. I do have a spare chair protector in my car, so I kept the car dry and clean. Once at home I needed the change and start the washing. My wife is super supportive and will help me whenever needed, but I felt really bad. It happened now for the second time in 5 months. Normal Tena pants or Depend pants do the job every day. So in 99% of all cases (literally) I does the job. But in one percent of the times it really went south. What should I do? I don't think it makes sense to wear diapers every day. Maybe just when I have a bad day and get more wet than usual? Should I put a spare set of pants in my office and car? I really need to think this through. I don't want to use too much over-protection, but I must be ready when it goes south again. Man ... what a day.
Bob


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:18 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2012 5:31 pm
Posts: 81
Have you thought of using some 'booster pads' with, and inside of, the pullup pants? You can carry the 'booster pads' separately even in your brief case. Your pullup pants will absorb the intial void and then you can go to the rest room and slip in a 'booster pad'. Fast and easy and effective. The 'booster pad' will become saturated and back you go to the rest room, remove it and slip a fresh one inside of your pullup pants. This is certainly one answer for you. If you can't find made for the job 'booster pads' then get some size 6 baby disposal diapers. Cut off the wings and then slit them with a razor knife so liquid will pass through and voila, you have a good 'booster pad'. I know from years of experience that this will work for you.

The next comment below has your real answer. Have at least one, full wrap-around good quality adult diaper available at your office so when you have a really bad day you just stop using the pullup pants and switch to maximum absorbent protection (i.e. a good quality adult diaper).


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File comment: Tranquility brand 'booster pads'.
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File comment: Tranquility brand 'booster pads'.
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File comment: Tranquility brand 'booster pads'.
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File comment: Abena brand 'booster pads'.
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File comment: Two flow-through 'booster pads'.
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File comment: Depend brand 'booster pad'.
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File comment: Depend brand 'booster pad'.
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Last edited by Tewi on Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 6:36 am 
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Location: MI
In my own experience, tabbed briefs are better suited for men even if the amount of leakage is not to the point of complete loss of control. The reason is that most pullups lack the padding coverage to cover a man in all situations. Unlike women, our genitalia tend to shift and move througout the day, not to mention we might get the random erection that causes us to point up. Once you are pointed up and theres no padding, if you happen to leak, you wind up having a mess. I wear tabbed style 24/7 but I don't have complete incontinence. I would describe it as somewhat sporadic in frequency, moderate to heavy in terms of loss of urine. In my opinion, the best practice is to plan for the worst and hope for the best. After all, the whole point of wearing incontinence protection in the first place is avoid having wet pants. That is, to ensure dry pants in most if not all situations. I wear tabbed breifs but I still use the toilet. What I do is stick to brands that can be pulled up and down easily of the tabs come off nad back on easily. For around the house i use Tena Ultra. For extended wear, I have used Better Dry. Any brief with a waistband can be pulled up and down. As far as a brief being overkill, that idea is not really something you should worry about. No one can see what's under your pants. Diapers are another form of underwear that happen to go on differently.

Btw, if you're new, welcome to the forum. I have been here for many years but life has kept me busy lately so I don't come around that often.

Also, I'm not a urologist, but I can't help but wonder if the episode of the floodgates opening you are describing might be overflow incontinence. That can be caused by underactive bladder which can sometimes be helped by regular catheterization. Have you seen a urologist for your incontience?

By the way, they do make adult cloth pullups that have the absorbent capacity of a brief, but still pull off and on. you can find them here threadedarmor.com

Peace out!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:11 am 
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Location: Florida
I can second what Tewi said above as I have often used the pad and pull-up combination, but in my case with one difference. I start out with a Male Guard pad inside the pull-up and carry a couple of extras in my pants pockets. After a wetting (or two depending on your output) I simply remove the soaked pad and put another in. One note here though, only remove a very small amount of the tape cover on the Male Guard when you insert it. I find that exposing anything more than one inch of the adhesive tape will make the pad very difficult to remove without damaging the inside of the pull-up. BTW...If you run out of pads you will generally have a fairly dry pull-up remaining that you can use normally.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 7:43 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
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A sudden flood, without warning, can be challenging indeed. Because my leakage is a continual dribble, I haven't had to deal with floods for years. However, a good, high-quality disposable becomes imperative if you cannot go to the restroom often enough to prevent a flood. It may last the entire day, or it may save you from the trauma of a pants-soaking accident. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:46 am 
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Location: Germany
Maybe I’m a bit alone with my opinion - but I often wonder why that many people think only the thickest protection is the best, and marinade themselves over hours. I mean yes - there are different types of UIC - and if some one lost its control completely then this is indeed a problem. However in this case diapers maybe also not the best solution - but anyway - I think the best way to handle this kind of problems is to be prepared. I also have phases where my pads do not work anymore for the three to for hours usage before I normally change them if they are wet, but in this case I change into diapers. For me it turned out that three simple things help to prevent such situation:

1) Check regularly if the protection is saturated.
2) Change before its to late.
3) adjust the protection to your current needs

How ever - leaks my happen even with the greatest caution. For such cases it’s also good to be prepared. I have clothes to change and fresh pads and diapers in my locker at work and in the car. So I can change easily, and if things went seriously wrong, I can also change my clothes.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 8:38 am 
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michael_dahlke wrote:
Maybe I’m a bit alone with my opinion - but I often wonder why that many people think only the thickest protection is the best, and marinade themselves over hours. I mean yes - there are different types of UIC - and if some one lost its control completely then this is indeed a problem. However in this case diapers maybe also not the best solution - but anyway - I think the best way to handle this kind of problems is to be prepared. I also have phases where my pads do not work anymore for the three to for hours usage before I normally change them if they are wet, but in this case I change into diapers. For me it turned out that three simple things help to prevent such situation:

1) Check regularly if the protection is saturated.
2) Change before its to late.
3) adjust the protection to your current needs

How ever - leaks my happen even with the greatest caution. For such cases it’s also good to be prepared. I have clothes to change and fresh pads and diapers in my locker at work and in the car. So I can change easily, and if things went seriously wrong, I can also change my clothes.

Michael, it is my expereince that most pullups have woefully inadequate padding coverage and crotch width to protect from leaks regardless of where the penis is pointed. Also, some of us have very busy work lives and cannot stop to check our protection every hour, nor can we drop what we are doing to go to the restroom. I used to work overights at Walmart, and this was in the midst ofmy incontinence reoccuring in force. At first I wore mid range briefs and changed on my breaks, and went to teh bathroom wehn I could. But that got to be too much. It was interuppting my work. Yes I could have talked to management and gotten accomodations, but I was at a point in my life where I was not as open about my incotniennce as I am today. I eventually decided to buy premium extended wear briefs and just let my bladder empty itself in the the brief rather than trying to make it to the toilet. My stress decreased and life was hunky dory. My control did not decrease as a result.

It comes down to security. What makes you feel the most secure? For me, I have very large voids that can happen without warning. I like to know that no matter where i am pointed, my diaper will contain it. Thus, I opt for tape on briefs. Tabbed breifs really are the best option for men with moderate to heavy incontinence, because they have a wide crotch and adequate padding. Just get your pants a size up and no one is the wiser. You can still use the toilet.

Peace out!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 11:09 am 
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michael_dahlke wrote:
Maybe I’m a bit alone with my opinion - but I often wonder why that many people think only the thickest protection is the best, and marinade themselves over hours. I mean yes - there are different types of UIC - and if some one lost its control completely then this is indeed a problem. However in this case diapers maybe also not the best solution - but anyway - I think the best way to handle this kind of problems is to be prepared. I also have phases where my pads do not work anymore for the three to for hours usage before I normally change them if they are wet, but in this case I change into diapers. For me it turned out that three simple things help to prevent such situation:

1) Check regularly if the protection is saturated.
2) Change before its to late.
3) adjust the protection to your current needs

How ever - leaks my happen even with the greatest caution. For such cases it’s also good to be prepared. I have clothes to change and fresh pads and diapers in my locker at work and in the car. So I can change easily, and if things went seriously wrong, I can also change my clothes.


I think that most people have enough experience with their incontinence to devise a strategy that revolves largely around the principle of having more protection than you need. In the risk department, having too much protection is basically paying more than you need to get the job done whereas not having enough means a leak. A leak can have all sorts of follow on effects like embarrassment, soiled clothes, unsanitary conditions, etc.

I usually have a few different levels of protection depending on my situation. If I'm at home, I'll have easy access to changes and showers if needed. If out getting groceries, I don't need to prepare for the invasion, just a couple hours. If I'm exercising, I know that I'll be showering right after, but the diaper needs to be pretty robust to handle whatever workout I'm doing.

Ultimately, it boils down to what your most frequent situation is because that's where we obviously spend the most time. That's usually at work, and kinda by definition, we are limited in our ability to make corrections. In the face of that uncertainty and constraint, prepare for the worst. I've had times where my commute home ended up being three times as long as expected, and I was super glad I'd added a booster during my last change.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 8:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:15 pm
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Location: Germany
doogles wrote:
In the risk department, having too much protection is basically paying more than you need to get the job done whereas not having enough means a leak. A leak can have all sorts of follow on effects like embarrassment, soiled clothes, unsanitary conditions, etc.

I usually have a few different levels of protection depending on my situation.


:-) That's what I meant when I wrote "adjust the protection to your current needs"... In fact there are two ways to do this - change more often or use better protection. The challenge is to wight this in a good way. I can talk here for Germany only - but at last for me it was a pretty hard fight to get the protection that I need from the health insurance. In fact - I know many people who are struggling in that fight and live with pure or wrong protection. I did't think or say that these people have no experience with there UIC - but I know that many did't have enough experience with the health system what makes it really hard for them to find and test the available products on the marked.
The reason for this is not that people are too lazy or to stupid - they simply often get the wrong advice. The first time you ask for absorbing products, you are turning to the two leading parties: health insurance companies and care providers: The insurances - are interested in saving money and the care providers are interested in selling the product with the best margin. In the first case you will end up with the cheap leaking model and in the other case you end up with expensive pants that you have to pay by your own and which also tend to leak. None of the "official" channels is interested to find the best solution for you. This is why a forum like this and also support groups are that important - because they are independent.

It's exactly as you say - at the end one important point is is the price tag that rules the decision. How ever there's also an other important point in the calculation - your self-confidence: This is one of the reason way I would encourage every one not only to test a lot of products but also to grow the self-confidence and to face the problem. I'm sure in 99% of the cases no one will care if you visit the toilet with a bag in your hand - and if someone insists you can explain yourself. One of the first things that I did after a couple of horrible month were I try to hide my problem when my UIC started, was to talk with our representatives for employees with disabilities. The result was, that the restrooms in our floor were equipped with bins in the stalls. This was a big advantage for me. Not only because the "dumping" problem was gone - but also because I learned that there is no need to be shy.

I doesn't help much If someone is too shy to change frequently and risk serious skin problems which are often much more problematic to handle than the UIC itself.

But just to bring the discussion back to the starting point - Pants are the most expensive and maybe the worse protection you can buy. It's exactly like sociologygeek already mentioned - a lot of them doesn't work well with the mens anatomy. I personally use Molicare Premium Form extra plus MEN pads and they work fine for me as long as I don't have to sit for a longer time (like in a car or a plane) and as long as I change them regularly. They cost the half of the price of the pants, have compared to a lot of other Hartman products a pretty modern core design and can cope with greater floods but are still very thin and discrete - and: I get them from the health insurance. If I need more protection I use Attends Adjustable. I can get them easy up and down like pants because of the elastics but they can handle ways more than any pant I know - and - very important: I can change them without the need to get out of my cloth.

If you read Bobcoopers post - the I would say this is a classic, that also happened to me. You mentioned that something went wrong (Bob: During the day I discovered that I had a bad day and that my Tena active pant started to fill up quicker than normal") but you did't act. The result is a leaking disaster. One think I learned on the hard way: There is nearly nothing that can justify a delayed change. If it's necessary I will excuse myself - even in an important meeting - but of cause it's better to check beforehand. What brings me back to the first point of my post. The successfull management of incontinence problems is based on two factors: Timing and Logistics :-)...


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:48 am 
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michael_dahlke wrote:
The successful management of incontinence problems is based on two factors: Timing and Logistics :-)...



A quote to live by. I think I misunderstood your previous post, but now it is definitely clear. So many factors come into play, and those factors can be important or not based on the individual. In my case, pullup or pant-type solutions don't work for me because I will need to change, but putting on another pullup would require removing my pants, and I don't feel comfortable doing that in my office bathroom. Also, I really enjoy the self-confidence of never having to worry about a leak when I wear a MegaMax diaper. It might be impossible to leak unless I'm hanging upside down all day (then I probably have bigger problems).


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