Gabe, I don't want to assess your issue inaccurately or unkindly. Maybe that's the reason why no one else has stepped in here. Therefore, I'll try to address your inquiries @face value.

1. If your volumes/control don't actually merit a need for diapers, maybe a guard, pad or pull-up would work better for you, and would alleviate any embarrassment you feel about wearing diapers. If you actually need diapers to not be housebound, then you should just regard them as a basic solution to your incontinence and get on with your life, IMO.

2. See #1 above, and: To avoid concerns about possible feces or urine odor, I suggest that you wear a backpack containing a few diapers and some cleaning supplies, i.e., wipes, gloves, barrier cream, and a few gallon zip-lock bags when you go out with friends or to run errands, etc. If you have an accident, simply proceed to the disabled stall and clean up. Put your used diaper, wipes and gloves in the plastic bag, zip it up, and place it in the trash. Wash your hands and get back to the action.

3. See #1 above.

W.

Let me add to Wetter's excellent advice. I walk like a drunk, for reasons other than yours. This distracts the attention of folks around me, often long enough to allow me to find a place to wash and change. Also, I take Devrom, an internal deodorant, which, combined with my diapers, has made life much easier. Depending on your body chemistry, Devrom can almost eliminate offensive odor.

Let me add what others have said/emphasises about diapers in general.. Something I have found to be true. If you wear the right diaper and the right clothing, despite you being self conscious no one is the wiser.

'No one is the wiser.'

At the end of the day, that's what it amounts to.

John.