www.incontinentsupport.org

Does any one have any experience with diapers in dormitory? I was asked by a friend whose 18 year old son still wets the bed. He was planning on going to a collage dormitory, but is daunted by the task of keeping this secret. Does anyone have ideas how to pull this off?

Any university that accepts federal funding (grants and loans for students including), is required to accommodate disabilities. Boy could go to the disability office and begin the process having his issue officially recognized. This will involve having confidential conversations with certain college staff members, obtaining sharing medical records, etc. The end result would very likely be a private living space for the boy.

If absolute secrecy is this person’s only option, then my suggestion would be to at the very least come clean to the kids roommate, who will very likely find out about the problem in time. If absolute secrecy is this person’s only option, then my suggestion would be to at the very least come clean to the kids roommate, who will very likely find out about the problem in time. Dorm rooms are very small, often cramped, and leave little room for privacy. Someone finding out is inevitable, at this point your friend might get to choose who that is. I’d much prefer to share this information with and official representative who will keep it private, van to share it with a roommate who could do anything with the information later. But I know it could feel like a hard decision on the front end.

I should also say that if the boy chooses not to disclose the disability, it can make it difficult to disclose and get accommodation at a later point. What I mean is that the college has an obligation to accommodate disabilities, but I think there is a limit where if a person shows and ability to cope without accommodation for a period of time, but College can waive some of its obligation. My understanding is that in this Saenz, there is a time factor to it.

I can give a little insight into this. My hole first year I lived on campus. It is a lot better to address this issue than try to hide it, our do what I did the first semester and try to get up every few hours. By the second semester I was so stressed out that I found it impossible to try to keep getting up every few hours. I was using apple earbuds to sleep and had an alarm song set every few hours that the first semester woke me up. I was so busy with classes and school work that the second semester I needed my sleep. *SIDE NOTE* ( the second semester I got a hole new group of dorm mates and there were 68 of us all living in one big dorm so it was a big deal) That being said, it was treated as a non issue. In fact one night at 3am we had to evacuate the dorm due to a fire alarm and I am sure everyone knew at that point. Thing is that most people will either be mature about it or will be stupid. Where I was going to school it was expected to be mature so it was all good. *SIDE Note* I left the campus after a year due aging out of living on campus. At any large school you will not be the only one with the issue. There were at least two guy in my brother dorm that had the same problem, one suffered from CP. And the other was epileptic. Schools are use to all of this and a lot worse.

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Vandel, I suggest Abri-Flex pull-ups with boxers or pajama pants over them. Abri-Flex holds a good amount of wetness, and if he voids once or twice during the night, they will likely hold it all. Unless his output is extraordinarily high, he will likely wake up in the morning in a dry bed. Disposal is fairly easy, too - a gallon zip-lock bag slipped into his backpack and deposited in the trash on his way to class. I would suggest that his parents order and re-package the pull-ups and send or bring them to him with the bags. I think he can manage his bedwetting without his roommate discovering it.

Another option might be for him or his parents to call the school and ask if they have a program in place wherein bedwetters can choose to be placed with other bedwetters, if they would feel more comfortable with that option. I think there are some schools that offer it.

W.

I used to work at a small private university. Nearly all colleges and universities, regardless of size, have a support office for students with disabilities. The disability support office handles accommodation requests for a wide range of disabilities (mobility, learning, and other special needs). I recommend starting there. They should be able to work with the housing/residence life office to accommodate the special requirements of an incontinent student. My thought is that a traditional residence hall room with a communal bathroom down the hall is probably not the best living situation, as there is no privacy whatsoever. However, most colleges also have residence halls with apartment-style units featuring a bathroom shared by 2 residents. The ideal situation would be an apartment shared with another incontinent student, or perhaps a single apartment if they are available.

Many colleges also have added "single-user" lockable restrooms in the academic, administrative, and athletic buildings, affording privacy for diaper changes when it is not possible to return to the residence hall/apartment between classes.

I got an update how it worked out in the end.
After several tries at home, he eventually got a diaper which doesn't leak at night [I don't know which]. He gets a weeks supply sent from home, which he manages to wear discreetly. So far he hasn't had any leaks in the dormitory and no one seems to have noticed. He has black bags, which he puts the wet diaper in, and disposes of it at his convenience.
He didn't request a special room, and didn't tell the administration or anyone else about his problem.

Vandel, I'm happy to hear that it has worked out well, and that he didn't need to choose a school based on the bedwetting factor. Thanks for the update. Since he's successfully managing his bedwetting, I'm sure it won't limit him in any way. I wish him well.

W.