www.incontinentsupport.org

I use confidry diapers with Abena boosters and a PUL cover. This adds up to quite a bit of bulk. I know this. But I still wear whatever clothing I want. I live in Florida where it can get very hot especially in summer with heat indexes over 100 degrees. Shorts are generally doable for most months out of the year. In the winter, It might get cool in the mornings and evenings but the days can be quite pleasant. So I wear shorts and tshirts most months out of the year, including boardshorts and athletic style. I am under no illusion that my diapers are probably visible under my clothing. But I really don't care. It's too hot here to wear long dark pants. I generally don't care what other people think. I take care of my needs and don't sweat the small things. Anyone else have this same attitude? I see it as a medical condition and not something to be ashamed of.

Back in high school I was all about hiding it, I wrote long enough skirts so I can change with at least some convenience and never went for pants which would in any way show the bulge,

Now I just get clothes which are just more convenient and practical for me. I have some mobility issues so skirts make cleaning up and changing a lot easier.

I get it that in got weather you should just wear what is practical, honestly rashes and infections are a pain when your wearing protection all the time....

I became incontinent when I was 25 (I'm 34 now). When incontinence struck me, I was still in the military. I served in the Marines from 2003-2009. I got a medical out. When I was diagnosed with my illness, it was still a year before I would get out of the service. I started out using guards, then pull-ups, then diapers. I can tell you it was tricky pulling off the wearing of diapers under my military uniform. But I did it. I did not want to be discovered as the marine in diapers. I did not believe my coworkers or supervisors would understand. I hid my condition like crazy. Back then, I didn't know what quality diapers were. I think I wore attends breathables. I got out in April of '09 and relaxed a bit. It took a long time. At first it was pretty traumatic. But now, I have moved on and I realize it doesn't define who I am. And nobody has ever made fun of me.

I'm getting a lot more comfortable with it. I certainly like to avoid exposing my diaper as much as humanly possible and especially at work.

But there are times when I simply don't care. I run at the gym after work every day. In the locker room, people see me in a diaper while I change into workout clothes. Sometimes I shower after my run, sometimes I just head out and shower at home. If I shower at the gym, I put a new dry diaper on and I do this standing at my locker. People see, no one seems to care. Maybe they all snicker about it when I leave, but whatever.

When I run errands on teh weekends, my jeans hide it pretty well. I either wear an Abena L4 or Northshore Lite. Anyone staring at and studying my butt might be able to deduce that I'm in diapers but I doubt 99.99% of people would notice. I don't use onesies so if my shirt rides up (and it has) the wasteband and wings of the diaper can get exposed. I don't stress about it.

This coming summer will be interesting. Last summer I wasn't in diapers during the day, just at night. I really enjoy the beach and that means wearing swim shorts with shirt off. I'm not sure what I'll do this year. I've tried my bathing suit on with a diaper out of curiosity and there's no way to pull it up high enough to completely hide the diaper. I'm either going to have to wear a shirt or just say f*ck it and let people see it. Even if I fold the top down, there's no mistaking the very obvious fact that I'm wearing a diaper. Part of me wants to stand up to the stigma and just be myself and enjoy the beach the way I like to and part of me doesn't want to draw attention and be embarassed. we'll see.

challenge for me is work. I don't want my coworkers knowing and we have business casual dress here. I wear khakis (various colors) and untucked polo shirt. With compression shorts, my Northshore Lites hide well but I'm still extremely self conscious about it. I wish I could just decide to stop caring.

When I go to the beach, I just wear a swim diaper. If I was just bladder incontinent, I wouldn't worry about wearing one. But being bowel incon, a swim diaper is pretty necessary. The waistband of the diaper does show somewhat above my bathing suit. I don't wear a tshirt though. It's not that bad. Just like maybe half an inch of the band. When I go to the beach, I don't worry at all about it showing. People are pretty spread out. Nobody can see. My family and I like to frequent a water park close by. I try to be a little more discreet there. I fold the swim diaper down into my shorts. I use the swimmates by tranquility. I have a speedo brief style swimsuit that I wear over the swim diaper to keep it snug. It works out pretty well.

I used to go to the gym too. Haven't been in a while. I used to use Abena M-4 under my gym shorts. You could hear it rustle in the gym when it was quiet. But with people working out, the sound was null. With diapers that thick, you can see the outline under gym shorts but I didn't care. I didn't know anybody there. I didn't shower there though.

I own 3-4 onesies as well but I generally only wear them in the winter. Like I said earlier, extra layers of clothing can be brutal in the summer here. So I keep it simple. I know my shirt has ridden up too exposing my diaper but I just pulled my shirt down and forgot about it.

Don, it really is amazing the similarities between us.

I became incontinent in the Marines in 98, and also managed to hide my diapers under my uniform (until a barracks inspection and I was outed by my gunnery seargent in front of the entire barracks).

I live in NE Florida, and also will wear my diaper under just shorts and a tee. At the beach I also wear my usual diaper if I'm just sunbathing, or a pocket swimdiaper if I go swimming.

Fir the gym I will wear a onesie in lieu of a regular tee. Other than that, I too stopped worrying about accidentally showing my diaper should it ever happen, and just go on with my life.

Don't get me wrong. I don't go out of my way to show it off. I just don't worry about people noticing too much. I used to be very concerned with what others thought of me and it made me ill. Through a lot of work (and therapy) I found that was a very unhealthy way to be. So I gave it up. I try not to worry about what other people think. Obsessing about other people's thoughts is unhealthy. I suffer from bipolar disorder and anxiety comes with the territory. So worrying about something as silly as what other people think of my underwear is silly. Diapers are no different than any other health aid. I have to wear them so I try not to let it change my lifestyle. To do so would be to let my condition control me. And I refuse to live that way.

Yea I am about the same. I started bed wetting after a bad bicycle accident during the same year I hit puberty (15 yea I was a late bloomer ) That same year I started having day time accidents as well. I ended up telling my parents and that lead to a lot of tests. Over the year I have gotten use to wearing at night so most of the time it does not bother me at all. The first year I stayed and worked here in Florida all summer I had to by all my own supplies (Before that my mom would pick them up) that was the most embarrassing year. I ended up driving 45 minutes out of town after the first time to buy my stuff.. Now if I needed stuff I just go get what I need. Also when I get sick I just wear a pad or pull-up everywhere and I really don't care who finds out.

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It took a little while but now I no longer worry about my shirt riding up a bit and the top of my diaper being exposed for a short while or even being seen changing. There is no shame in needing diapers for a medical condition and if some one has a problem with me needing them oh well its their problem not mine.

in the summer time I we are shorts and a long t-shirt or a plain white or black onesie to help hide the diaper why put more layers on then necessary its just to hot and uncomfortable.

Even after 20 years I still try and remain stealth. It doesn't bother me if someone notices but I don't purposely show them. I wear a disposable as a "diaper liner" for my cloth pull-up diaper. This keeps stool off my cloth diaper and makes laundry so much easier. I retired early when I sold my business so wear what I want. Cool weather has me in dark, baggy sweats and warm weather in dark, baggy shorts with a 3x Columbia fishing shirt. Yes, to the trained eye it's still pretty obvious. Cloth diapers are bulky. But over the years I've found that this is what works best for me. Also cheaper in the long run and much more comfortable. I stopped worrying what others might think a long time ago. I think in all the time I've been diaper dependent, only a half dozen people have commented. The first couple of times I was embarrassed but not since. Usually any comment is respectful and empathetic. I use Desitin and Nullo to round off my protection and rarely have a problem with rashes or odor. I've had too many public BM's to count and I don't think anyone has ever noticed. I think when I was younger it was much harder. My ex was a nurse and was very understanding. I have several medical professionals in the family (1 brother is a physician, 1 sister is a nurse, 1 sister-in-law is a nurse and have 2 nephews in medical school), so there is plenty of understanding. Close friends and the whole family know so it's easier not being worried all the time that my diapers might be showing. Not that I worry about it all that much. It's the hand I was dealt so I prefer to just own it. There are so many people who have it much worse. It's not a neuroblastoma. It's not life threatening. It's ic and diapers. Big f'n deal.