www.incontinentsupport.org

Thanks all for the advice. I'm getting better at it and beginning to care less.

Yesterday I was in my local shopping centre and needed to change. The stalls there are very small and I noticed as I went in that there's a sign for an 'Adult Changing Facility'. However, it also says you have to ask the concierge desk for the key. I'm not up to doing that yet. I feel too embarassed for that part. Maybe one day.

Hi Drew

Glad to hear you are fo ding it easier to change in public and not stress about it, you will get to the point that you will not worry about asking for a key to the adult changing area.

Drew,

Was that the Orbital Shopping Park in Swindon?

--John

Hi,
Thanks, I'm sure I'll get there with asking for the key one day, I'm just not there yet...

No, it wasn't Swindon.

does the key benefit you? Is it really better/less embarrassing than changing in the regular restroom? I mean if you change in a stall an anyone is in there then they obviously know someone's changing a diaper in there. Who cares? If you go ask for the key, the guy obviously knows what you plan to do in there....who cares?

Point is, either way people know you're changing your diaper so just do whatever is easier for you.

I'm with Mike. I would just ask for the key. I used to work customer service. I can tell you that clerk is probably too busy to care about what you're doing in there. What concern is it of his anyway? He's got things to do and other people to deal with. Ask for the key and change in a private bathroom. In a public restroom you could be seen by multiple people coming in and out. I would much rather face one person than say 5.

I would make a point of using it. The fact they made an 'Adult Changing Facility' is a very positive development. It shows increased awareness of our needs and readiness to accommodate. It also helps to reduce the stigma. It gives a message to everyone who sees the sign that many normal people like him need to wear diapers, not just some old senile person in a nursing home. However, if not many people use the 'Adult Changing Facility' because they are too embarrassed to ask for the key, they might just decide there isn’t much of a need for this after all, and do away with it altogether.
I wouldn’t be too concerned about what the person with the key thinks. If reminds of when I first started buying diapers. I was so concerned about that the cashier think that I used to make a point of saying that it isn’t for me. After a while I realized that if they are selling this there must be dozens of people like me buying it, and he has seen this all the time.

My day pack is an AAA shoulder bag with clips that enable me to keep it off the floor, hanging on the clothes hook usually found in toilet booths.

The changing facility might actually be a specialist toilet that has a hoist and changing bench + other features (sometimes a shower). If you need a big clean up that can be handy or if you need to lie down, although they are generally deigned for people who need to be physically moved using a hoist on to the toilet or changing bench. So a standard accessible toilet might be just as good for you if all you need is a bit more space, but if you need to lie down or whatever then this space might be helpful. If you are in the UK they are called 'changing places' toilets or 'space to change' toilets. They can be very large.

Yeah for me, I just use the regular stalls. I'll use the handicap ones if available for the space but changing in a regular stall is fine too. I prefer to lean against a wall when changing standing up, though I can do it without. It's probably quite obvious to anyone coming in to see my feet pointing the "wrong" way in the stall when I'm leaning against the door or side wall. Not that I really care if people know at this point. The rustling plastic and sound of the tapes already makes it pretty obvious that some dude is changing his diaper in there. That said I'd probably use a special bathroom with a key if it seemed easier overall. Asking for the key wouldn't be an issue for me.

As far as accommodations go, I wish all public toilets had a bin of some sort, or wall mounted box, for disposal. My only real issue with changing in public is that in order to throw away the wet diaper you have to carry it out which isn't very discreet. It's one thing for me to be comfortable with people hearing me change, or even if my diaper gets exposed for a second to a stranger, or if you can likely tell I'm wearing a diaper because of my wardrobe, but it's another thing altogether to be seen holding a used diaper. I don't know why, but I don't like people seeing that. Often, I'll bag it and carry it out in my backpack and throw it away later. Hard to put into words but I guess I don't really care if strangers know I'm wearing diapers, but I don't like being seen with used ones. Just a mental thing I guess.