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Who knows?
http://incontinentsupport.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2051		 Page 2 of 4
Author:  RobertH [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Ted

I didn't have to worry about telling kids as we have none as I got married later in life, every one I told was an adult family member.

Not sure how I would handle telling our kids if we had any.
Author:  Ted [ Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Hey Rob, I should have been a bit clearer. My kids are grown. They're in their thirties now. They are aware now and it's all worked out better than I could have imagined.
Author:  Porkchop [ Fri Dec 25, 2015 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Very brave of you Ted, I shudder to think of telling my two sons! :shock:
Author:  JDinVirginia [ Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
This holiday I told my brother-in-law who was staying with us for a few days. His reaction? That it was no big deal and that he was surprised he had not noticed before (I took that as a complement). That really lowered the possible stress level as I now did not have to worry about suddenly excusing myself for a change, etc.

--John
Author:  Patrick [ Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
JD,

My guess is that as the "no big deal" attitude toward incontinence and a list of other formerly proscribed issues propagates through our society, we all will heave a collective sigh of relief. "No big deal" can be a wonderful Christmas present.
Author:  B Brian [ Sat Jan 23, 2016 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
I am of the mindset that if you will be spending any close time with someone else then it is just better to let them know before hand. Chances are very high that if you are diapered around someone while spending a lot of time close to them, that they will eventually notice (though amazingly a lot still don't). Still, even taking that chance and not telling them means you will be stressing over them finding out any ways. I don't know about most here, but I don't need that kind of extra stress in my life. Besides, everyone I've told so far either didn't really care, or turned out to be supportive. A win-win in my mind.
Author:  Porkchop [ Sat Jan 23, 2016 5:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Baby Brian wrote:
I am of the mindset that if you will be spending any close time with someone else then it is just better to let them know before hand. Chances are very high that if you are diapered around someone while spending a lot of time close to them, that they will eventually notice (though amazingly a lot still don't). Still, even taking that chance and not telling them means you will be stressing over them finding out any ways. I don't know about most here, but I don't need that kind of extra stress in my life. Besides, everyone I've told so far either didn't really care, or turned out to be supportive. A win-win in my mind.


Brian, I just feel like it's not there business or burden so I try to conceal it. No right or wrong answer I suppose, but the thought of them KNOWING is the stressful part for me.
Author:  B Brian [ Tue Jan 26, 2016 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Interesting. So then are you not worried how they might react when (likely not an if) they find out? Or is it more of how they might continue to treat you after that initial reaction?
Author:  Porkchop [ Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Baby Brian wrote:
Interesting. So then are you not worried how they might react when (likely not an if) they find out? Or is it more of how they might continue to treat you after that initial reaction?


I just feel like I've lost so much of my dignity with the nature of my injuries and the need for help with daily living that I want to hold onto whatever semblance of 'normal,' of 'before the war' as I can. So yes, if they found out I would and have dealt with it but I try very hard not to have too.
Author:  Ted [ Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Who knows?
Hello Porkchop, I understand precisely where you're coming from. I hid the problem away for years. It is your right to have privacy. Especially over an issue like incontinence. Only you know if your dealing with incontinence would be easier with others knowing or not. Especially when once you let someone know, you can never undo it. Besides, if someone finds out accidently, you're still no worse off as if you had told them. Hang in there, Ted
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