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 Post subject: Dealing with bedwetting?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 12:56 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:52 am
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I am a fit 27 year old male and have been experiencing accidents at night for over a year now. At first it was rarely, after I consumed alcohol. In the past few months I find if I am sick (cold or flu) or consume alcohol I will wake up in a wet bed almost certainly. The amount of alcohol consumed is not excessive either. My main concern is I am now in a committed relationship and she will find out this problem eventually. Further to that, it is very stressful to sleep in any bed other than mine (cottage, camping).

I brought the issue up with my GP and she referred me to a psychologist first. I was confused, but she suggested my mind might be fearful of wetting associated with drinking, and that the paranoia actually causes me to have the accidents. I'm skeptical of that, but she's the professional. I'm worried because I was a bed wetter until a later age (12). In the mean time they had me order incontinence supply samples for night time from a website and told me to use those for when I feel I might need them. This is very difficult and embarrassing and I can't imagine how I am going to tell my girlfriend I need to use protection at night. Are there any tips for discreetness, or hiding this when sleeping at a friends house?

Does anyone here have any similar experience? Thank you.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:02 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
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MA88,

Welcome. The folks here have a huge store of information. Read the past posts to take advantage of it. My suggestion would be to pack a medium-size or larger gym/diaper bag with all the supplies you expect to need, especially including high-capacity disposable diapers and plastic pants. In a cottage situation, wash and change for the night in the bathroom, and wear fleece-wear garments large enough to cover the inevitable diaper bulge. Some of our members are qualified psychologists who can offer you better advice about explaining your situation to your girlfriend than I can.

Again, welcome and good luck.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:13 pm 
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I'm 34, and I started wetting the bed again almost 4 years ago. I was already married, but in some ways it's a similar situation. My wife knew that one in a rare occasion I would wet the bed, but when it ramped up, I had to tell her it was a problem, and that I probably needed to wear diapers.

Bedwetting can definitely be psychogenic, so the therapist is probably a good start, but don't expect too much. What website did your doctor recommend for incontinence supplies?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:27 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
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Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Hello MA88,

Sorry about your bedwetting, but you have lots of company in that here, myself included.

It is difficult to be completely discreet about bedwetting when staying at someone else's house, especially if for more than one night. Although you can hide the fact that you wear a diaper, you might be noticed when disposing of it.

As Patrick indicated, plastic pants are an absolute necessity as they are your first line of defense at containing a diaper leak.

There also is the greater issue of adequately protecting the bed when away, should the diaper leak. Occasionally wearing plastic pants is not adequate for a large leak. You cannot risk a leak wetting the bed and, even worse, the mattress.

--John
(double incontinent and wearing diapers 24/7)


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 7:29 pm 
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In terms of dealing with sleeping away. Bring gallon, double zipper, freezer bags; and plastic grocery bags. If it's a short trip, just pack the used diapers out. Also, for camping, don't try to burn wet diapers. It takes an incredibly hot fire. Get a pair of PUL pants as a backup over a diaper for sleeping away, and wear underwear in between. The underwear will absorb anything that leaks, and the PUL is a quiet barrier.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 12:30 pm 
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Hi, MA88 - welcome to the forum. I second JD's comment that there are quite a few bedwetters here. You are not alone, and everyone on the forum is here for you.

Like MSUSpartan, I was already married for a few years when my bedwetting started again. I was 25, and had been dry for 11 years. I'm a 64 yo woman, and I can only imagine how difficult it is for a young guy to have a bedwetting relapse when you're beginning a committed relationship. As you may know, stress is a common and significant trigger for a bedwetting relapse in adults with a childhood history of bedwetting.

Am I correct in my understanding that your PCP referred you to a psychologist without doing a medical workup? That would disturb me. Do you have a history of depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts/behaviors?

As to your relationship, I would give your GF time to develop an emotional investment in you before you start having sex. Then give her a heads-up about your bedwetting. Women are hard-wired to be nurturers, and if you don't blindside her and if you characterize your bedwetting as a medical condition, she will most likely be very understanding and supportive. Lastly, get a waterproof mattress cover for both your bed and hers.

Wetters


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 5:19 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:52 am
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Wetters wrote:

Am I correct in my understanding that your PCP referred you to a psychologist without doing a medical workup? That would disturb me. Do you have a history of depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts/behaviors?

Lastly, get a waterproof mattress cover for both your bed and hers.

Wetters


Thank you all for the in depth replies! The website I ordered from is Healthwick.ca. Wetters, it was during a medical exam I brought it up. She asked a few questions and said her first interest is getting me to talk with someone about it. I definitely invested in a waterproof cover months ago when I purchased a new bed set. I'm feeling reluctant to use diapers and was hoping there would be something more like underwear?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 5:53 pm 
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It "depends" on your volume. Are you a high-volume and/or multiple nighttime wetter? If your volumes are on the lighter side, Depend (Kimberly-Clark) makes a product for guys that's called "Real Fit". It's been around for a while. It's a very trim pull-up that closely resembles regular underwear (not tighty-whities). Most guys who need nighttime protection can't wear these, but they may work for you. Another alternative might be a diaper or pull-up under PUL pants, with boxer shorts over everything to hide your protection.

Wetters


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 6:42 pm 
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Location: "Wet Coast" B.C., Canada
Welcome aboard MA88, there is the option of cloth diapers as well, with the waterproof backing built in (All in one) or without which would require some sort of cover pant. As for dealing with a relationship, that is a tough one, but if she really is committed to you, it would not make a difference, it doesn't define who you are, just what you wear. Easy for me to say that being 47 & single, by choice for various reasons, my incontinence issues being one of many, but not the defining reason. Feel free to browse the topics section, lots of great info on here from some very schooled members! 8) Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:18 pm 
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All the pullup/underwear like products are lighter. None of those are near absorbent enough for overnight use, in my experience.


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