www.incontinentsupport.org

Well, I did a follow up with the urologist today.. no kidney stones visible on the follow up x-ray . She asked me if I wanted to do another round of biofeeback/pt. I told her no.. and I think if we were to turn back the clock a year or two.. I would be suprised by my answer.. that i would say no to something that had been "proven" to work.. Heres the thing...yes, it might get me dry for a while... but for how long is anyone's guess...and it woudlnt stop me from wearing protection just in case. Perhaps I will try it agian in the fall.. but not now. Dong the pt again would take a commitment that I dont see myself being able to make when i'm working on the buses every day. Or maybe I could, I don't know. I just don't know. I think part of my hesitancy that i was turned off somewhat by my PT's comment near the end of our sessions.. she made a comment that it would be a shame if i "went back to where i was" that is, Incontinent.. at the time it didnt bother me.. but now it does..that she thinks its a shame to become incontinent again.. that people should be ashamed of incontienence. Maybe she meant it would be a shame if i lost control after gaining it back. But still, it was a poor choice of words that stigmatized incontinent people. In spite of this i might do it again.. but not until after I get back from bay cliff.. because with tis job on the buses, i just might not feel up to doing the excercies every day..and i know i couldnt do them at bay cliff.. so we will see...

another downside is the therapy involves counting backward or distracting yourself and going to the toilet calmly instead of rushing.. the problem with that is it demands my focus be taken off other things.. I don't see that as an option when im teaching a class.. that reason alone might make the biofeedback not feasible. I just don't know anymore....

Am I overreacting to her comment? Or would some of you find it somewhat on some level insulting, or at least a turn off? Would some of you just say enough is enough and want to pad up? I realize this is alone my choice and my feelings and attitutes are but my own, but I want to get some perspective here.

Peace out!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Geek: Are you overreacting? Was her comment a "turn off"? Let me ask you this: "does your reaction really matter at this point?"?

You had a "reaction". Whatever the reaction was, you have a condition to deal with and you are making the best decision for yourself that you think is possible given the circumstances and the data that you have at your fingertips right now. You know your situation, your work, your commitments better than anyone else ... Therefore, if you decide protection is better than all the therapy for a possibility that "it might work", then that's your decision. And what the so called professional thinks is just that: their "thought" (i.e., opinion). It's you that has to live with the consequences of your decisions; not them.

I am speaking from experience ... A while back, I was "shamed" by a urologist for being "lazy". I will admit that if I concentrate really hard, I might be able to control and contain a possible flood. But I would have to eat and drink the right foods/drinks, time frequent & regular trips to the bathroom, bear near a bathroom, monitor fluid intake, etc., etc. And all that wouldn't be able to handle the constant dribble/drip. Thus, I decided (not a "professional") that that was no way to live. My current uro is "ok" with my using diapers if I am "ok" with it; and I am. Now, I don't worry about a number of bladder "control" issues; my diaper does that for me. Now I live life as best as I can; my life is not centered around a "can".

Listen to their opinion; gather data; evaluate your position and condition; and then make "your own decision" on what is best for you.

I think your doctor probably mean it would be a pity to carry on being incontinent if it could be helped. I don't think she meant the word 'shame' to mean 'ashamed'. Just that, for her, it's better to try everything. of course she is missing your point of view that the chances of success are low and that you would be better off doing what you do and getting on with life.

Personally, I agree with you. Life is short enough as it is without hard work sessions that have little chance of success. Just strap on your protection are enjoy life!

ILuvLa,

Thanks for bringing things into perspective. Yeah, i know, its my choice.. and yeah, my gut instinct was to just say no. My urologist did say that there was something that works like interstim but way better that was up and coming..not here yet but close.. and I will consider that with an open mind. I did consider interstim, but again, ultimately decided no. It just seemed the risks outweighed any benefiits. I heard of peopl expereincing pain when a plane took off..it would reduce not elminate accidents, etc etc.

Here's the bottom line when it comes to treatments.. does it get me out of diapers? If not COMPLETLY and 100%, then honestly what's the point... like with this biofeedback.. right now, since i had it fail on me not once but twice... I at this point would not feel comfortatable going without protection for at least 3 months in public DRY, and another year until i stop having proteciton around.. even then.. what would guarantee that it wouldnt fail again and id be wet in public again? Nothing..

As of right now, my life in diapers is just fine. I have gotten used to the idea, I don't build up false hopes for treatments, for the sake of my mental sanity i have moved on. I don't have complete loss of control, nor does my urologist think i will ever get to that point, and i even asked her if just using the diaper would make my control worse, and she said no. I honestly cannot remember when the last time i had diaper rash was.. my skin has been clear and itch free for months... probably due to using better diapers and ariing out every chance I get.

Again, thanks for the perspective..i just want to make sure i wasnt giving up too easily.

Peace out!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Geek,

I agree with you that treatments that merely reduce the number of diapers you require aren't really worth the effort. If one is going to have to wear a diaper anyway, why bother with the treatment. Also managing an unruly bladder in an attempt to avoid leakage can become a major committment of time and effort that detracts from one's ability to do other more worthwhile things. Those considerations are the main reasons I decided to wear protection 24/7/365 and get on with doing more important and enjoyable things than trying to manage my bladder.

Great!

Noe, It really comes down to comfort and accepting that you are incontinent. Diaper dependency is a misused term. We wear diapers because we need them. Yes, sometimes some could make it to the bathroom and just use the diaper instead. After you waste a lot of time doing that and since you usually are wet or damp anyway we just use our diapers. It is a strange thing to say using your diaper is improves your quality of life but it is true. Why drop what you are doing to rush to a bathroom that you may not make in time when you can just go on with what ever you are doing? In a perfect world diapers would be worn for convenience as well as need. We always debate 'would you use diapers if tomorrow you were cured of this curse? Many answer yes. Make your choices and do what best suits you. Papa

Wow - ILuv your fantastic response, ILuvLA. My "Like Button" response is here!

Wetters

Let me second Papa's post. If I could live my life, 24/7, three steps from a bathroom that was reserved solely for my use, I could wear normal underwear. But I do have a life to live, and, occasionally, I must sleep. There is no way I could meet my obligations if I did not have diapers. And sleep? Even with a plastic mattress cover on our bed, I still sometimes awaken soaked and need to change the sheets in the middle of the night. The medical professionals who treat me mostly understand my situation and agree. Occasionally I encounter a doctor who thinks he knows better, which usually leads to a heart-to-heart talk which always changes his mind.