www.incontinentsupport.org

Hey all,

In my last post on the origional post, i guess i sounded kind of distraught when I said I don't want to be facing this..I want to be back in regualar underwear. When I wrote that, I expessed a sentiment that I think of some of the time, but in my heart of hearts, I know that most likely will not happen, based on the fact that it has occured/reoccurred a third time despite my best efforts. So, I guess I really would be ok with my life as it is now, with my control is now. What I would find difficult to deal with is losing bladder control completely, beacause that would mean I soak myself during the day and at night. I would for the first time have to deal with wearing abena at night..and then have to worry about it leaking. If i ever got to that point, it would be hard to accept, because right now I'm dry at night, but i know that eventually I could come to terms with it. I also would have difficulty if i had bowel inconitinence. That would probably the most difficult thing to accept. I'm not saying that that is what will happen to me, because as far as I know, my bowels are in good shape. I am constipated most of the time, so in effect I have the opposite probem to incontience.. although in some cases that can cause bowel incontiennce. But, if that did come to pass for some freak weird reason, I could eventually come to terms with it, though i know that for the fiirst few weeks I would be afraid to leave my house. Substitute teaching would become interesting, because I can't drop what I'm doing to go change. Odor would be totally embarrassing.. and changing at school would be a nightmare... So, i'm glad it hasnt come to that..

So, I just want to let everyone know that I'm OK.. I'm not overly distraught. Actually, something has happened to my attitude about htings. When I made the post titled "This is it..forget Jan 1..i'm padding up and living life", from that point on, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Before I came to that acceptance I thought to myself..no matter what way you slice it, incontinece sucks" This was back when i was first dealing it with it recently, before the biofeedback. When it first reoccured in May of 2014, I remember it took it HARD. I wanted so badly for it to stop right then. At my first urologist appointment, I was proactive with telling her what I needed, without taking the time to talk to her to let her evaluate me and come to her own conclusion about what treatment to pursue. She tried to tell me then that this might not go away. I didn't want to hear it, because I had beaten it before! Contrast that to now, when it reoccured again, I did'nt freak out, I just went with it. I no longer thought about how kids wear underwear but i don't. After I made that post of padding up and living.. I stopped thinking about how much things suck. Moving on i guess happens in stages.. when it first starts up you are like ok, this sucks but I can deal with it..then as time goes on, you say, hey its life.. it doesn't suck.. its me. but then things get worse.. and then you are like..oh this sucks again..but then you come to acceptance again.

Has anyone else found that acceptance isn't a one time thing, but a continual process, or as Patrick put it, more marathon than dash? I certianly find that to be an apt analogy..

Peace out!
Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I have the very issue you mentioned. I went from having some urge issues, but making it to the bathroom in time 98% of the time, to suddenly waking up one day in a soaked bed, with absolutely no bladder control. That was only about 3 months ago. I'm still learning to accept it.

Cheryl

Really, folks, we can spend a long time and never fully accept our disabilities. Despite over 30 years life with a wheelchair, it can still be a bit of a downer looking at the thing next to the bed in the morning!

I suppose the way I look at things is to to see the good side and not the bad. For example, if one is fully protected we avoid the long queues for toilets, don't waste time dashing about looking for toilets and can get on with life that little bit better. For me, not bladder incontinent anymore but rather in retention requiring cathing 4 times a day, it means pretty much the same as when I wore a drainage bag as I end up draining a litre off at a time.

Maybe I was lucky - but when my MS started it was incontinence as well as paralysis and mobility was a more serious problem than the drainage but both can be a pain. I had a young family at the time, too, so I was obviously busy with them too rather then being on my own. We had lots of fun with the children riding on my knee when shopping or going out.

Every day can be a challenge but look to the plus sides and try and ignore the negatives.