www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi all,

Well, as you can see from the title of my post, lately it seems that my incontinence is getting the upper hand. Whether my control is actually getting worse unavoidibly, or my control is slipping due to using the brief vs toilet out of conveninece (which I have done, I will admit..I think MANY of us who use briefs will admit the same),or this is just one of those heavier days in a continually roatating cycle of incontinence symtoms..or its due to increased fluid intake I am not sure, but last night and today it seems like I've been experiencing Niagra Falls. The main reason why I suppose I have taken to just using the brief, at least when I think it necessary to wear extended wear, is that I noticed that after I have a brief on with a snug fit..if i take it down to use the toilet, either i compromise the tapes or I someitmes compromise the seal at the legs. After all, lets face it, an adult brief is not really meant to be taken up and down multiple times.. it's meant to stay on and used.. A pullup is meant to be pulled down easier..but heres the BIG dilemma there... lack of adequate padding coverage. It seems no matter what brand of pullup I try..they don't have coverage in front if i happen to pointed straight up. They also leave gaps at the legs. Quite frankly, based on what happend to me with my attends.. who have barley adeuqate padding coveage..im not willing to trust pullups that have even narrower padding. in public in the first place. which is why I resort to using briefs in the first place.

The real depressing thing of it is that each of the incontience episodes Ive had have happend with next to no real warning.. not even a gotta go feeling some of the time.. although i do get that sometimes.

I suppose i realized back when I first started having incontinence in May of 2014 i realized that one of two things would happen: either i get dry and out of diapers forever..or my control would most likely slip completely. I want to avoid that if I can, but I may not be able to, since I will be working a high demand job this summer and will probably be relying on my protection a LOT.

This is something I DON'T want to be facing.. i want to be dry, back in regular undies..but my urologist told me flatly in no uncertain terms when i brought it up before that when my incontinence reocurred that I was so gung ho and desparate to immediately want full control back, that that was not going to happen . Maybe I will regain some control with this lithotripsy? I am honestly not holding my breath, because i built hope up too many times of being treated, only to be let down again..


Does anyone else go through this dilemma? You have moderate to heavy incotntiennce..can make it to the toilet sometimes, but end up just letting go and saying to heck with it because the diaper is hard to take off?

Peace out!

Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Geek,

If your fate is to be incontinent over the long term, you will achieve greater peace of mind when you fully accept that a diaper is your regular underwear and that you need to use it for the purpose for which it was designed without feeling guilty. During the daytime, I still use the bathroom instead of my diaper maybe a third of the time. But unless there is a bathroom handy, I don't scurry around trying to find one.

Inconimiss
You are right... and I i thin for the most part, I don't feel guilty about using the diaper when I have a premium diaper on. When I am working in the schools, or working at my Walmart job, I put a diaper on and use it except for no 2. When I am at home, I usually wear my regular attendsand those I can take off easily enough to pee in the toilet if i have to. When I am at home is basicially the only time I make an attempt to use the toilet. The rest of the time, I honestly don't worry about it. So, i guess I don't scurry about finding a restroom in public. I think what I have a hard time doing is letting go and using the brief all the time for no 1, which nobody is suggesting i do anyway. I like you Inconimiss, realistically only make it 1/3 to about half the time anyway.. On a good day, I can make it maybe 3 times a day..with the rest ending up in the diaper..

The main motivation for me still using the toilet is more due to the fact that if I don't I will use more attends, and in some situations, like laying down, i will most likely leak if i let it go.

Peace out!

Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Unfortunately your urologist may be correct. If you are finding it hard to make it to the bathroom then you have to decide if the stress of making it is worth the long term toll. If you are only getting to the toilet a third or half of the time you may find as you age your successful toilet attempts may not happen at all. It doesn't mean you have failed, but that your bladder is failing you. Is it really worth stressing out about it in the bigger picture? Just think about it and go with the route that has less stress and you will live a longer happier life.

Doug

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Rob, I feel like I'm right there with you. I have good days and bad days. On the bad days it seems as thought I can't make it to the bathroom at all. And the bad days seem to be coming more frequently.

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

I don't define a good or bad day by how often I use the toilet anymore. In fact, I try hard not to let a leak define my day as bad. Although that doesn't always work. I just relax and enjoy the fact that I don't have to stay near the restroom any longer.

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- Tom

I am happiest when my sphincterotomy is working as intended. I wear diapers because of necessity. The guilt, for me, occurs when I have forgotten some necessity for my diaper bag, or when I have waited too long to change. Incontinence itself is not cause for guilt; dealing incompetently with incontinence is another issue.