www.incontinentsupport.org

You know what struck me? Wearing diapers and having incontinence in many ways is only a big of a deal as you make it out to be. Think about this for a second.. the only difference between diapers and regular underwear is the fact that diapers tape up and are absorbent.. the only differnece between pullups and regular underwear is that pullups are absorbent. But its all the same type of garment, right? Underwear is worn to keep your nether region comfortable and supported.. diapers do the same thing, as well as contain leaks from a leaky bladder. So the only difference is one is meant to absorb urine and one is not. Now, in a typical mindset.. and this in large part due to societal norm.. the only ones needing absorbent undepants are infants,toddlers or old people.. which by the way, is misleading..old age doesnt necessarily render one incontinent. So, it's not the underwear itself that is the stigma.. but the fact that it is needed to contain urine. And why may I ask, is it not acceptable to leak into your pants? Well, society. If it was not the social norm for every one to use a toilet to eliminate waste, then the term continence would lose its meaning. Granted, this norm is due in large part to sanitary reasons and what not, but sanitiation alone does not explain why in some cases it is socially acceptable to wear diapers in other parts of the world, say in China. I read a story about passengers wearing adult diapers because the train was overcroweded and it was hard to get to the bathroom. No one stigmatizes astronauts, do they? Why, of course not. Yet they wear diapers out of necessity... so why oh why is it so hard to grasp that having a leaky bladder is only shameful because we MAKE It shameful? At my last appointment, my urologist said something about people who did this and that treatment don't need to wear pads.. well, excuse me, whats wrong with wearing pads? I am sure that there are indiviudals who do wear diapers, because it is necessary to do so. Are you somehow implying I have a better life than them, or I'm better than them? Also, my PT did remark that she said it would be a shame if i went back to becoming incontinent after becoming dry. Unfortuante yes,, but SHAME? WHY SHOULD I HAVE SHAME? I didn't ask for incontinence? Why should i be ashamed, or feel pity for myself? I am coming to terms with this wonky bladder of mine.. and im not stressing out like i did before.. having a wet diaper is only as stressful as you make it to be. It may be annoying yes, especially if you just changed.. but.. do your self a favor.. try to Live your life stress free.

PS..maybe my urologist brough that up because when this incon first came back this year, i said my goal of treatment was to be in underwear like before.. and i was gung ho on achieving that..but now.. that it has reocurred for a THIRD time.. I'm honestly ambivlenet about wearing underwear or not..If it happens, it happens..but if not.. oh well..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Very well said Soc. Very well said indeed. It is the sociatal stigma that we battle with. And that battle is mostly in our minds. I find that others don't really care as much about what type of underwear I have on as I do.

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

Well, good points here!

Let's look at some other things that have this sort of stigma - well sort of anyway. No one comments that I wear glasses. Many people do - some to keep out the sun and some to be able to focus and see properly and no one comments on it at all unless someone we know has new ones that look different. However, due to age (65) I now need to wear a hearing aid. It serves the same function as the glasses but, goodness, what fun people have about not being able to hear properly!

Then again, my super-posh wheelchair (my avatar). no one makes jokes about it comments - apart from small children who apparently embarrass their parents by saying loudly 'why's that man sitting in that!'.

Yet all these devices are there just to make up for some deficit in function we have. Why should they be treated any differently? Personally, I make it a point to look for the good side of these devices - a chair is very handy in supermarket queues (and it makes people smile when I mention it in the queue!) and devices that deal with our 'leakage' save having to use dirty toilets - or even look for toilets dirty or not.

So, yes, attitude is everything. We should use all these things we need and face the world with the confidence they bring us!

Wheels, you bring up a good point about small children. We have been fortunate enough that every time our daughter has asked about someone that person has been more than willing to explain what is going on. And we as parents never make a big deal about it either so it is just how that person gets on with life. Everybody is different.

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

Well I has that problem too - some 30 years when my daughter was 3 going on 4. we had to explain the bags and tubes to her and, later, to my son too. Tell young children what's what and they just accept it. They are also good in not mentioning it outwith the household so your secret ought to be safe with your children.

I've noticed that too. Kids are much more accepting than adults about most things that we get hung up on. Check out this article (not incon related but kid related). We as parents really do dictate what our kids accept and don't accept.

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/1 ... oud-Expect

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal