www.incontinentsupport.org

Most folks suffering with incontinence were continent at one time. You never had to worry about leaks or dribbles or the embarassment of wetting your pants or getting the furniture wet. So when that starts to happen, be it suddenly or gradually, the human reaction is denial. Many of us will quickly resort to diapers which effectively eliminate the consequences of an unplanned wetting episode. But the denial continues that we are losing or have lost the control we once took for granted. If life then revolves around this new change in lifestyle, then we have an awful lot to lose.

It is certainly a given that you will pursue all avenues with your health care professionals, but you must also keep in mind the reality that, for most of us, little can be done to reverse the incontinence. This is when you have to decide you are going to get over the "woe is me" attitude. Acceptance of the situation is what will set you free! Incontinence should not run your life, nor should it be allowed to ruin your life.

There are several ways to manage incontinence with diapers being the most common, very effective and safe for the majority of people. But what ever you decide to use, it is your personal business. You most likely could care less about what kind of underwear your friend has on. Likewise, no one needs to know what kind of underwear we have on, save for a "significant other", of course, and discussions of how to deal with telling the girl friend or boy friend about diapers have appeared in various forums with the results basically the same; it's no big deal.

My summary; credit the one and only Beeter man: Incontinence sucks, but quit your belly aching! Tape on a diaper and get on with your life!

A good point ofview

I have been incontinent all my life. Less when I'm thinner. I guess because of that I have accepted it. My hubby of 5 years has. I told him when we met. He didn't care. I guess love is blind

after 2 hospital stays for severe diverticlulitis i had an elective hema-collectomy, having most of my decending colon removed. the road back has been hard. after numerous early morning accidents i began wearing diapers to bed. it was more for convenience at the start. i was either messng in my sleep or waking with such an intense urgency that i spent many a morning feeding a growing depression while cleaning up. after first trying diapers i would rush to the bathroom when awoken with the urge to go, hurrying to get them off in time. results were often poor. common sense dictated that i just relax and let the diapers do their thing.it took some getting used to but the quality of my life improved. as time went on i grew familiar with my body's rythem and was able to develop a regular program. my doc said sudden onset urgency presents in a low percentage of post op patients. those affected can experience progessivly worse symtoms. he has warned of further diverticuli development if i didn't "keep things going" with a high fiber diet. subsequently i have been unable to rely on my morning routine to manage. it is not uncommon for me to experience 4 or more rather large movements each day. my ability to control the sudden onset urgency is weakening and i'm relying on diapers more and more. needless to say i'm growing more isolated as time goes on. after several public accidents with much embarassment it's hard to socialize. most of the time people have no clue that i'm diapered. and i'm confident that few if any have noticed that i might be messy. for some reason this does nothing to lessen my shame and embarassment. it has gotten to he point that i'm often diapered 24/7. i share this with very few people. sister and sister-in-law are nurses and supportive. never the less the condition really complicated my life. i still try and get to a bathroom to pee but my diapers are often wet when i change them. you would think that after 4 years i would have accepted this better than i have. i'm getting better but let's face it, loading your diaper when you're 45 is just not cool.

I am 65 years old and have had poor bladder control all my life. I need to go usually once during the night but find I sleep more confortably and wake more relaxed if I do not bother to get up but wear and use protection instead.
Earlier I made sure to empty my bladder prior to going to bed but now I do not bother. I feel that my bladder needs emptying when half asleep but I just turn on my back and do it without waking. I usually go again shortly before I get up. I find that my Depends will handle that without leaking.

Hmm, I don't want to offend or attack anyone, but that sounds to me like lazyness at best. Not bothering to empty your bladder because you can just wear a diaper instead and go in it? That just sounds VERY wrong to me. And as far as night problems goes, there is help for that, and chances are a doctor/uro could solve your problems, instead of being stuck in diapers...

Hopefully, I'm just misunderstanding you...

I do NOT consider that it is a question of RIGHT or WRONG. In fact I can see nothing WRONG about it. It is simply a matter of convenience and since I use protection anyway I might as well make full use of it. Not getting up at night leads to my having a more restful sleep. What is WRONG with that? anyway it is my choice!

There's plenty wrong with that in my book. I have been bladder incontinent for the last few years. I still empty my bladder before I go to bed each night and if possible, get up and go to the bathroom if i can make it. Having to get up only once at night is no big deal. As a matter of fact, it is quite common for folks with normal bladders to have to do so. The remark you made concerning feeling the need to go and then just rolling over and going in your depends just smacks of laziness.

Let me try to explain it this way:
1. I wear protection in bed.
2. By morning the protection has been used.
3. I sleep better if I do not have to get up during the night.
4. It is very inconvenient to undo the protection to use the toilet during the night.
5. I therefore do not bother to do so and have partially trained myself to empty my bladder when I have protection on anyway in bed.
6. Calling it lazy or any other label is inherently unproductive and while it makes you feel better puts me down.

Well it may be lazieness for some. If you are working on bladder streching or if you have the control to make it there easily. rolling over and using a diaper is counter productive. On the other hand If you are wearing heavy diapers at night and get up take down to use the bathroom you run the risk of ripping or streching the diaper with disposables or not getting everyting tucking right with Cloth and then you can get leaks. You can become apathetic about wetting. I know for myself that even if I woke up evey hour I would still be wet in the morning. I've tried this and all it dose is make me (and my wife) a grouch the next day.

All of us have different opinons from "Anything but diapers" to "That tube goes where.... I dont think so"

_________________
Adam In Minnesota

As the father of two girls rapidly approching there teen years, LIKE I WAS GOING TO SEE MY BATHROOM ANYWAY.