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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2019 9:50 am 
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Hi 5bugles. I’m a member of a few Facebook groups for my condition and I’ve seen threads where people do exactly that. Incontinence is extremely common with my condition. Not everyone talks about it. But when people do bring it up, it’s generally well received and gets a lot of replies. But would I “come out” about my incontinence to friends on Facebook? Probably not. I keep it in my groups with people who share my condition. Even still it doesn’t come up too often. I told my family because I had too. I hated sneaking around. Same for my wife’s immediate family. We frequently stay and travel with them and it just makes things easier. The reaction from both sides was like...ok. It was no big deal. However, I have noticed that a lot of people here stress about telling others while staying away from home. I’m generally very resourceful. Before I go telling people about my issues I usually wait till I get to my destination and scope the place out a bit to see if I can make it work without disclosure. I once stayed with my wife’s extended family at her grandmothers time share in Orlando. There were 25 of us. We had three large hotel rooms with multiple sleeping quarters. We had like 10 people in our room. I told no one and pulled it off. The only ones that knew were my wife’s parents. I don’t think anyone would have cared but there was no need to tell anyone. I have also camped with my kids Boy Scout troop many times. Again, told no one. The last time I went, I wore my cloth diapers in the woods for three days. We were car camping and had our tents. Because the cloth was so absorbent, I didn’t have to change as much. It was actually really easy. Backpacking though I can’t do. I can’t hike diapers in and out of the woods. Car camping is easy though. We did have access to a bathroom.

I wore disposables for ten years in the Florida heat. You’re right, the cloth is cooler and doesn’t break down with sweat. Because of the thickness and absorbency, I don’t have to carry a backpack wherever I go. Is it noticeable? More than likely. Does it work? You bet. That’s what I care about. It’s like Ellyn said. My diapers are just part of the package. I take medicine, wear glasses, and frequently walk with a cane. I just have some physical obstacles to overcome. But I don’t let them stop me. And like I said, nobody has ever said a word.


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PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2019 6:57 pm 
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I do miss backpacking.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2019 9:15 am 
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Joined: Fri May 03, 2019 9:22 am
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Ellyn wrote:
When society finally stops associating diapers with babies and the elderly, those who feel self conscious about their medical need to wear diapers will relax a little. I think that society is moving rapidly in that direction with all of the TV ads. Medical treatments might help some but there are those who choose otherwise. In my case, been there and done that!



I remember reading an article a while back about how "the media" was normalizing incontinence and that was wrong because there were treatments, exercises, etc. I actually got kinda angry about it because it boiled down to accusing people of being incontinent because they were too lazy to try everything under the sun. As you said, "been there, done that". No one *wants* to be incontinent, and we have all tried our damnedest to fix it. Most of us are at the end of that rope, and we're stuck with accepting our hand.

I am what many people call...a really large dude. I've lifted weights for the past twenty years, and it shows. In the past 5 years of increasing incontinence, I stopped working out and running. I gained a ton of weight. I really started to be disgusted with who I had become because incontinence became an excuse to not go out, not take care of myself, etc. Over the last six months, I decided that I wasn't going to be ashamed of my medical condition. I also drew on the self confidence I had from being a pretty successful weight lifter. So what if people know I wear diapers! It's no different than needing glasses. Since this change in attitude and acceptance, I am so much happier.

The real life changing experience was when I went for a run for the first time in about 3 years. I had always had leaks when I run or tabs would pop. It was a nightmare being on a trail miles from home with a diaper falling off. This time, I was wearing a TotalDry brand Overnight diaper, and I made it out and back. Even getting back, the waistband was as tight as when I taped up. I nearly cried because I could now get my life back. I've lived through some terrible stuff, and I can get through this, too.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2019 6:41 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:16 am
Posts: 220
Location: Ohio
doogles wrote:
Ellyn wrote:
When society finally stops associating diapers with babies and the elderly, those who feel self conscious about their medical need to wear diapers will relax a little. I think that society is moving rapidly in that direction with all of the TV ads. Medical treatments might help some but there are those who choose otherwise. In my case, been there and done that!



I remember reading an article a while back about how "the media" was normalizing incontinence and that was wrong because there were treatments, exercises, etc. I actually got kinda angry about it because it boiled down to accusing people of being incontinent because they were too lazy to try everything under the sun. As you said, "been there, done that". No one *wants* to be incontinent, and we have all tried our damnedest to fix it. Most of us are at the end of that rope, and we're stuck with accepting our hand.

I am what many people call...a really large dude. I've lifted weights for the past twenty years, and it shows. In the past 5 years of increasing incontinence, I stopped working out and running. I gained a ton of weight. I really started to be disgusted with who I had become because incontinence became an excuse to not go out, not take care of myself, etc. Over the last six months, I decided that I wasn't going to be ashamed of my medical condition. I also drew on the self confidence I had from being a pretty successful weight lifter. So what if people know I wear diapers! It's no different than needing glasses. Since this change in attitude and acceptance, I am so much happier.

The real life changing experience was when I went for a run for the first time in about 3 years. I had always had leaks when I run or tabs would pop. It was a nightmare being on a trail miles from home with a diaper falling off. This time, I was wearing a TotalDry brand Overnight diaper, and I made it out and back. Even getting back, the waistband was as tight as when I taped up. I nearly cried because I could now get my life back. I've lived through some terrible stuff, and I can get through this, too.


Awesome! Good for you! I'm kind of in the same boat. I was pretty heavy into weights and was training for a powerlifting competition
when injury struck which put me out of the gym for a bit. Then the IC started. I finally convinced myself to get back in the gym with a discrete diaper on (and a prayer that it would hold if I flooded). Things were going well, I was seeing gains, and even got to the point where I felt comfortable changing in the locker room (nobody seemed to notice my choice of underwear). Unfortunately my back finally said "enough" and I began therapy and treatments for it. Turns out powerlifting is one of the worst things you can do with my condition. On a good note, I could finally point to my spinal issues as the root cause of my IC. On the other hand, I haven't been to the gym in well over a year and you can sure tell. After reading your story, it makes me wanna get back at it!

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."


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PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2019 9:30 am 
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Joined: Fri May 03, 2019 9:22 am
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5bugles wrote:
On the other hand, I haven't been to the gym in well over a year and you can sure tell. After reading your story, it makes me wanna get back at it!



Hell Yeah! I try to say yes to any reason to get to the gym because I know I'm going to say no more than I should. Definitely get with your doc and figure out how to modify your routine. The spine is obviously a big anchor point for a lot of muscles, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do great workouts that are solely bodyweight. Pushups, lunges, yoga, etc. will help protect you from pain. Core muscles are body armor!


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